FARThaton 2007
By nareiya
Summary:
As the rainy season comes, a competition starts and people gather with curiosity. Five friends smile and accept the disgusting challenge with joy and pride. Who's going to win? Is it the beautiful fair and blond yet aggressive Cagalli, the always-competitive dark haired Shinn, the crybaby brunette who goes by the name Kira, the silver haired Yzak who needs anger management, or is it the mysterious person who no one knows his/her name?
Disclaimer: I do not own GS/D or any stench suit invented by Athrun!BRIEF NOTE: nareiya would like to acknowledge daisukiasu'n'caga for editing this! She's a great author so you guys should consider reading her fics as well!
Chapter One
"Please remember to tighten the strap of your gas mask as our contenders' release their unique 'talent'. May we remind you that the management is not to be held responsible for the loss of your sense of smell. That is all…Good day!" The speaker said through the microphone.
Athrun Zala quickly placed his stench suit on. This would be a long day.
"Where did you get that suit?" The tan playboy inquired to the former ace cadet that the ZAFT Academy ever had. He tightened the strap of his gas mask and crossed his arms over his chest. Athrun adjusted some screws, "I made it. I knew this was coming."
"How did you know? I just received the word today. Milly informed me." He told him.
"It was something like this…" Athrun explained as his face slowly went pale.
Start of Flashback
Athrun Zala nervously tugged his collar as he carefully watched, with the utmost disgust, his dear wife eating one full bowl of beans. It wasn't a simple case of such great affinity with pork and beans but it was just plain broiled beans. The ones that can give that nice, extra kick when one is need of great detoxification. As she slowly settled the spoon back to the fragile tray, the blue haired hottie quickly tiptoed towards the door. His hand hastily reached for the knob, turning it as fast as possible but today wasn't his lucky day. Oh, my mistake, it was NEVER his lucky day during the 12th of June.
"Where are you going?" A pair of fierce amber eyes glared at him. Even though they were literally seven feet apart, his body was terribly shaking due to the great intensity of penetration of the glare originating from the owner.
'Uh…ain't it obvious? To safety of course! 'He nearly smiled at that smart idea but surely, that won't work because she is different. By saying different, well…she is indeed different because she is unique. She is very capable of winning even though she is a natural so he really needs a GOOD strategy. "I j-just remembered t-that K-Kira needed a hand in assembling his car!" He inwardly hoped and prayed that his wife would be satisfied and inner peace would be granted to her.
She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest, "Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Athrun, Athrun, Athrun, my ever idiotic and pretty boy husband of mine. Why can't you master the art of lying even for once?" By this point, he knew he was totally screwed. TheEnd of his game—that might be the exact expression needed in order to understand this poor guy.
"Isn't Kira joining the contest too?" She said smiling. He was speechless. How can he forget that? And they called him the ace cadet of ZAFT and a natural could out win him in this so-called battle. Poor Patrick and Lenore. They spent millions of PLANT dollars just to make their only beloved son a coordinator and this is what they get…I pity them…
"Oh come on!" He raised both of his hands in surrender, "Can't you at least spare me from fainting this year?" Even with that much pleading, a mischievous smirk was the only response. He then fell on his knees and bowed down to her, "Have mercy!"
She released a heavy sigh, "Sorry…but I can't!" She began to reason out, "The Snobbish Czar (Shinn) and Prince Tutu (Yzak) would participate this year."
His upper body suddenly shot up and he pointed an accusing finger at her, "Don't tell me this is revenge for your lose in the Bickering Summer Fest?"
She gave him a thumbs up, "Yes it is!" Then her eyes began to burn with such determination, "I just can't accept defeat. It is not in my nature, you see."
"Oh brother…NO!" he slammed his forehead on the floor. After realizing his stupidity, he quickly rubbed his bruised forehead and looked sternly at his wife who was now sitting beside him, "Baby," He stressed out, "Revenge is bad. It is the root of bad karma."
She typically rolled her eyes and weirdly glanced at him. She was about to open her mouth and talk back but a strange sensation that she was waiting for, all of a sudden surge down her stomach. A glint on her eyes appeared as she stood up and turned away from her precious hubby, "Here it comes…!"
PPRRROOOOTTTTT
"Oh my…" His vision slowly came to a haze as his body hit on the floor, hard. The last thing that came to his mind was to repair his stench suit because he'll surely need it!
End of Flashback
"Oh…that is so sad!" Dearka said with a mock and a fake cry. He blew all of the mucus stuck in his nose on his hanky and Athrun simply inched away with a disgusted look. The tan playboy placed an arm around Athrun's shoulders, "You should win an Emmy Award for that story of yours!"
I think I need new friends… Athrun sighed and faced Dearka and removed the arm that was placed on his shoulders, "Dude, I need to go somewhere. See you around."
--
Somewhere in the stadium…
Athrun sighed. He was now safe and sound for the time being…well, not for now!
A small kid who seemed to be a mini Dearka except for the snow white complexion and oh-so-innocent eyes, tugged on his suit, "Hey mister, are you a robot?" The kid looked at his stench suit with great awe as he drooled in a cute kiddy way. Athrun smiled shyly, "No, I'm not. This is called a stench suit. It can protect you from those powerful farts of those smelly contenders."
"Cool!" The kid smiled, revealing two lose teeth, "Can I buy one?" He looked at the kid and he was about to give a mini suit for free but something stopped him.
Don't Athrun! Think what would Cagalli say when she finds out that you're not cheating this kid?
Uh…Dunno…What would she do?
And you call yourself a coordinator…Anyway, she would be mad! You should use this opportunity to make money! Use your brain even for once!
For how much?
Sheesh…I'm beginning to doubt that you are a coordinator or some person who was fortunate enough to be alive even though your brain is made of goo…What?! Nothing…Sell it for $10,000!
"Sure! The suit is for $10,000!" The kid then took some cash and shoves it to Athrun's pocket. Athrun had no idea where the boy had so much cash, but he didn't care! Cagalli will love him for this! He quickly gave the kid the mini suit. Before the kid left, he told him, "If you ever bump into your mom, Miriallia. And she asks you where the big amount of money went to, tell her that a tan skinned playboy took it and went to a bar."
"Got it, sir." He saluted.
--
In the Main Stadium…
"Okay mina-san! I want a clean and fair fight!" A pink ball, no, a Haro mechanic ball who that goes by the name Mr. Pink ordered. It bounced up and down nonstop and the stupid, smelly contenders, who were clearly annoyed, kept on following it with their eyes.
"How long are we going to do this?" Shinn asked, his tired eyes slowly closing. "Dunno…" Yzak, the contender beside him, shrugged his shoulders as his eyes followed the bouncing haro for the umpteenth time.
While those two idiotic ZAFT pilots were being mesmerized by the bouncing pink haro, Kira feared for the preservation of his life. Why? Oh, that is so easy to answer. It was because his sister dearest was beginning to fire up.
"Stop bouncing or else…" she Cagalli began to mutter under her breath but the haro continued to bounce and she got enough of its annoyance. "STOP IT!" She kicked the poor, irritating haro and it was never seen again. Cagalli had no idea why Lacus had that thing around her in the first place.
"Where is the real host for this competition?" Cagalli asked and no one answered, "Are you people deaf!?"
"No! We're just scared of you!" Shinn stated the obvious and Cagalli's attention was diverted to him. "Thanks for saying the obvious!" She sneered and knocked him out. "Would anyone be brave enough to be the host?"
After a few seconds, someone pushed Meyrin to the main stadium. "Oh…" was all that came out from Cagalli's mouth, "What a nice sacrifice…er, I mean hostess! (A/N: Eww…hostess…in my place, a double meaning of hostess is a prostitute…)"
Kira's trembling hand threw the agenda to the poor girl. Meyrin verily caught it, but read it quickly as she picked it up. "Okay, for the first round. It will be taken place in the pool. The contestants would be required to fart only once and the one who has the longest distance covered would be declared as the winner."
--
Back with Athrun…
"Stench suit! Stench suits! Get it while they last! Because if you don't, those people are going to start stinking up the whole place!" he yelled and several people raised their hands, desperately. Athrun smirked. Business is going superb…
--
In the Pool…
"Ready…" Meyrin said pinching her nose tight. All the leaked gas was making her sick.
Shinn who was revived by some unknown force, glared at Cagalli, "Hey Athha! I think you are gonna lose this round!"
Her eyes sharply looked at him and her fists were tightly clenched, "I'm trying to control my temper, ASSuka. Don't make me angry if you don't want to have a private meeting with your creator right now." Even though that threat was frightening, the snobbish czar didn't seem affected.
"In your dreams!" he shouted back and looked at the end of the pool. The pool's length was about 20 meters and that was the first time that Shinn had encountered a long pool. Get it together, dude! You need to win this! This is for your pride and ego!
"Set…" Meyrin continued loud and slowly.
Kira did the sign of the holy cross across his chest, starting with his forehead than to his right shoulder blade then to his left and ending with his lips. He then raised his head to look at the mystery candidate beside him. He/She had a hood on, so Kira couldn't see who it was. He had this weird feeling that bugged him when he first saw this mystery contender. He/she seemed to be familiar and much attached to him although he can't say whom it was. Needless to say, he's beginning to lose his intelligent-engineered mind.
Anyway, moving on with the other contenders, Yzak seemed to be quite confident for this year's competition. It was because of the special training that he had received from his beloved mother, Ezaria (who had more powerful range for that anger burst beam) and his cute boyish subordinate, Shiho. It went something like this.
Start of Flashback
"I…c-can't take i-it anym-more!" he stammered as he collapsed on the muddy ground, hard. He tried to reach for his cellphone that was temporarily out of range from his annoying mentors. He stretched his hand a little bit more.
A little further… Yes, he was giving his best; all of his efforts if one may say. But it was soon vanished as he saw the infamous shadow of a powerful woman. "Yzak, you won't win if you're like this!" she grabbed his neck and pulled him up like a poor lifeless doll, "Stop whining and start acting!" she threw him back at the floor.
At this point, he wanted to give up but he felt a familiar pair of arms, helping him to stand up, "There, there, Yzak…" her motherly voice soothed in, "Don't give up!" she smiled at him, "You can do it!" as he saw her, a small ray of light was quite possible to make his dark cloud a clear one—or NOT!
"Ah—hey! Why are you staring at me like that! Are you going soft on that?" she kicked him away from her.
Well, this is the life of Commander Yzak Joule. One lesson that he has learned from this is to always prepare his umbrella because clearing clouds could also cause rain showers.
End of Flashback
"Why are you spacing out like that, Joule?" Shinn barked, eyeing him oddly. Something was definitely different with Yzak, but what? If he knew, then I wouldn't have typed that, right? Well, moving on, Shinn continued to look at the end of the pool, imagining his victory over Atha and Joule.
"Go…!" Meyrin finally said.
Here it comes…! All of the contenders thought at the same time and the familiar, awful scent breached in and almost everyone, excluding Athrun and his loyal buyers of his new invention called the 'stench suit', survived!
"Oh…my…!" Milly fainted and fell on the arms of her loving husband who was wearing a stench suit. The blonde haired playboy simply smirked at this blessing. Good thing she didn't notice that our money was missing…
All of a sudden, Milly's eyes shot up and her hands quickly grabbed Dearka's neck and attempted to choke him to death, "Where the heck is our money?" Even though he was already panicking, he managed to grab some type of spray bottle in his suit's pocket and sprayed it on his wife who fell unconscious again.
"Thank heavens…" He sighed in relief as he inwardly thanked Athrun for his newest invention. The suit saved him and not only that but it supplied it's own collective fart spray. All the gas that's been collected has been sucked inside that spray container. Yes, indeed the inventor is very intelligent for creating this magnificent creation!
Back to the contest, Meyrin who was surprisingly still alive, removed her goggles, unplugged her nose and turned on her microphone, "And the winner for this round is no other than…Miss Cagalli!"
"I'm the man!" she yelled as she jumped up and down.
"Lucky shot…" Shinn continued to think ways of manipulating the contest so that Cagalli will not win it, "Just you wait…you would be kneeling before me just for you to win this contest! Muhahahahahahahaha –cough- muhahahahahahaha…PROOOOOTTTT!" then a thick smoke covered the whole area…
--
End of Chapter One
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A/N:
So what do you think? Is the story nice or not? Please don't be shy and push the purple button below and share me your comments/suggestions/flames/ or anything at all! If you want a quick update, remember that the magic number for this chapter is 20! Yes, 20 reviews or you can see the update…when I can buy a nice usb for my Nokia 5070 cell phone!
Ciao!
-nareiya
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On the next chapter of FARThaton 2007:
Shin finally reconsciled with Yzak and they both discovered Cagalli's secret. Will this be the end of the blonde princess' reign of victory? Also, will Dearka's plan of deceiving his wife succeed? Will Athrun's business go smoothly? Get all of those answers on the next chapter only after about 20 reviews are received on this preliminary installment!