OCD is a self-trust problem. A doubting disease.
Dear Diary,
Will is all excited about Nationals being in New York this year. He must have told the kids because at lunchtime today I could hear them singing Empire State of Mind. He thinks the destination will be a huge incentive to make the kids really focus and possibly attract new members. Will's been phoning me a lot. It's obvious he's feeling jealous. No doubt his ego is bruised but he more than bruised my ego. He's being immature trying to 'win' me back. I'm not a possession. We have a new football coach at school: a woman. Sue thinks a female football coach is against the laws of nature, but I think she's a wonderful role model for the kids. Apparently Ken had a nervous breakdown and won't be returning to McKinley. I hope I wasn't the cause of his breakdown but I am relieved I will no longer have to fear bumping into him. I do feel a lot more relaxed since I met Carl. He seems to quell that sense of dread in me, that intractable feeling that something is wrong. I guess it's his confidence and maturity. He is so in control of his life yet he's totally spontaneous. The other day he took me for a drive in his red corvette. I was admiring how clean and pristine the interior was when suddenly he pressed a button and the roof retracted – completely. I felt a panic attack coming on. I didn't want the wind whipping through my hair and messing it up. He just smiled that perfect smile of his and his mischievous eyes twinkled at me. What could I do? Twenty minutes later I was feeling totally liberated. Sexy even.