Hellllooooo, Twilight and Mortal Intruments fanfic readers! This is my very first crossover and first Twilight/Mortal Intruments fanfiction. Just so you know, this is an attempt on humor so understand if this might get corny at some parts.

I just got this idea when I was reading Twilight after City of Bones the other day. I know, I know. I'm so outdated in books! I even wonder if I sometimes live under some invisible rock…

Oh, and this story is dedicated to one of my closest friends. Happy birthday, Katzie! You're finally old! *laughs maniacally* Katz, if you're reading this, I have one thing to tell you. You owe me pizza!

Well, here's my disclaimer!

*Disco music in the background*

Me: Hey! Hey! I'm in love with you! And I'm sold out for—Oh! Sup, dudes! *laughs nervously*

Jace: *appears magically in a puff of glitter* Peh! Glitter in my mouth!

Me: Ooh, shiny…

Jace: Nicole. *snaps fingers in my face* Snap out of it! There are people here!

Me: *clears throat* Ahem. Right. People, right.

Jace: Where are we?

Me: In a disco club in my dream! Now, shoo! I'm dancing.

Jace: Dis-claim-er!

Me: Hold on. *boogies to the music* Okay. I *pose: points to the ceiling* don't *pose: hand on hip and hand behind head* own *hands on hips* anything! *Charlie's Angels pose*

Jace: Enjoy! *winks*

Me: *drools…*

Like Jace said:

Enjoy!

3rd Person POV

"Gooooood morning, Downworlders, Shadowhunters, vampires, and werewolves!" the announcer Juan said into the mic. "Welcome to Are You Sparklier Than A Vampire?" Applause.

"Today, we have a warlock brave enough to go against our defending champion, Edward Cullen." Gasps came from around the audience. "I know right? Anyways, let's welcome Magnus Bane!"

Cheers from the Downworlders and from a small group of Shadowhunters erupted as a man wearing a sparkly, pink, tight tank top and silver, gliterry pair of skinny jeans. He had a full head of black hair that was styled with glitter into spikes. The exposed skin of his was practically smothered with glitter.

"Magnus Bane, everyone!" Juan hollered into his lapel. "And our defending champion on Are You Sparklier Than A Vampire…Edward Cullen!"

This time, the vampires and werewolves whooped and cheered as a tall, pale teenager walked gracefully onto the stage. He was as pale as paper—maybe even paler—and had dark brown curls crowned on his head. He wore a white button up shirt and a pair of dark jeans with just a pair of Vans. His dark eyes seemed to be topaz, lighter than the usual shade he had.

"Edward, what do you have to say to the crowd and Magnus before we start?" Juan interviewed. Edward shrugged.

"Fine," Juan huffed. "Be that way." Then he turned to Magnus.

"Anything?" he asked.

"Yeah," Magnus said. "You owe me twenty, Jace. You know who you are." And did the "I'm watching you" thing with his hands. "And also, Alec, dear, I love you!"

"Okay." The camera swiveled to the hosts face. "Let's get this started!"

The roof of the studio started rolling back like a giant set of blinds on a window. Sunlight seeped through the ceiling as it made a huge opening.

Down at the stage, the two participants stood straight as the sunlight came in contact with their skin.

Gasps and "ooh…ahh…"s were heard everywhere. Edward's skin started to sparkle and twinkled like his skin was bedazzled all over. Magnus, on the other hand, was shining like a disco ball. His sparkly skin and clothes reflected off the suns beams. Some people had to shield their eyes to even look at the stage. Even though they both looked rather…sparkly, they seemed to be showing off the same amount of sparkle.

"Ooh, tough one," the host said into the mike. "They seem to be sparkling as much as the other is."

"Judges?"

At a table on the far side of the stage, three people sat behind with mugs of hot chocolate placed before them.

"Hi, guys!" a small brunette squealed. "I'm Seiah."

A chocolate-colored boy on her right waved his hand at the camera. "'Sup? I'm Miguel."

"I'm Danika!" A girl with long, dark hair whisper-yelled. "I'm a ninja-slash-spy so hush!"

The host soon appeared on the screen smiled widely. "Okay. Seiah, what do you think?" he asked.

"Edward is so sparkly!" she squealed (again). "But Magnus is dazzling!"

"Miguel?" The boy shrugged.

"Eh…tie."

"Danika?" Pause. "Where's Danika?" Then, "AHHHH!"

Danika jumped up with her face dangerously close to the camera with Juan screaming like a girl in surprise in the background.

"I like Edward, he uses natural resources," she said. "Magnus uses make up" –cue shudder— "but Ed over there is still sparklier." Danika then disappeared from the screen to reveal a recovered Juan.

"Thank you, judges," he said politely. "Now for the second round!"

The two contestants walked over to opposite sides of the stage to prepare and plan.

Edward's Side:

Edward Cullen walked casually to the right side of the stage when his girlfriend, Bella, ran up to him.

"Edward!" she gasped, out of breath. "I have a plan."

Edward nodded as Bella told him her plan and smiled warmly at her. He grabbed her waist and snogged her right there(while groping at each other…bleh)—cue "eww" face—with all the people watching.

"Get a room!" his "brother", Emmett, yelled at them.

The couple pulled apart and smiled at each other making googly eyes. With a dramatic sigh, Bella said, "I'll be waiting for you!"

"I will do my best," Edward yelled towards her retreating back as she walked back stage. He sighed like the whipped hundred-year old man he is.

"Jasper!" he yelled at his other "brother". "I need you to get me a bucket of water and some faith and pixie dust!" Then he left. (AN: Go, Tinkerbell!)

Magnus' Side:

"Make up!" Magnus hollered. "I need a lot of glitter and my bedazzled clothes now!"

Mundanes ran around the studio as they looked around for the things Magnus had asked for. Fairies flew around with his glittery make up, wielding brushes and mascara wands around as they did so. Magnus went to sit on a chair he poofed up.

"Double time people!" he exclaimed. "We need to beat that Cullen guy!"

A blonde mundane went up to him and handed him his outfit. A pair of gold skinny jeans that had been bedazzled by Magnus himself and a tight, gold tank top that had a whole wave of sequins sewed to the front and his name bedazzled in pink, purple, and silver beads on his back with a very sparkly pair of gold boots. The boots had buckles on its sides that had a golden sash and golden buckle. All in all, the outfit was even more sparkly than a diamond doorknob.

With a snap of Magnus' fingers, the gold clothing replaced his current outfit. The blonde, who looked to be a thirteen-year old girl, looked at him with narrowed eyes.

"Why didn't you just do that before?" she said angrily. "I lost three men because of that cat of yours!"

Magnus just chuckled and snapped his fingers. In a puff of smoke, the angry blonde girl disappeared.

"Time to be the sparkliest of them all!" Magnus said cheerfully and stood up from his chair.

Camera View

The lights dimmed and a spotlight appeared, revealing our formally-dressed host. He now wore a black coat with a white dress shirt under and a plain, dark green tie around his neck. His hair was now styled into spikes pointing to every direction known to man.

With a lapel on, he greeted the audience. Throwing a joke about glitter and fairies here and there to get the crowd warmed up (also getting the fairies quite red-faced), he asked for a drum roll.

"Now, let me present to you…Magnus Bane for roooouuund twooooo!" he said, stretching out "round two".

And in walked in Magnus. The crowd "ooh"ed and "ahh"ed at his golden, sparkly clothes. He seemed to resemble a golden statue moving around the stage. He strutted over to the center and gave a pose: hands on his waist and one hip coked to the side. Magnus then snapped his fingers.

The dome opened up again and sunlight splashed in. The light reflected against Magnus' clothing really well. It practically bounced off each sequin found on the shirt and pants. The gold boots shone the brightest among the stuff he wore. Instead of walking on sunshine, he was walking with sunshine.

"Shiiiiiinyyyyyy…" a burly vampire and a blonde Shadowhunter drawled out. (AN: Guess who these are! ;D)

Magnus gave the camera a really exaggerated wink and strutted off the stage. As he walked away, the crowd clapped and whooped, some just had their eyes wide and jaws dropped wide open looking like idiots.

"Give it up for Magnus!" the host yelled. The crowd cheered in response.

"Now, the man we've all been waiting for…" he paused. "The defending champion…Edward Culleeeen!"

A robed figure came walking down the stage and positioned itself in the middle. People were silent, confused at who this was. Just then, Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake started playing…

…and the robed guy started dancing too…and stripping?

"OH MY GOD!" a mundane from backstage shrieked as she ran from to the front of the stage.

The robe pooled on the floor around…Edward?

"EDWARD!" Whoops, the girl just fainted.

Edward was wearing nothing on but a pair of skin tight jeans. His pale chest was sparkling under the sun and seemed to dazzle every person of the female kind. His chest was well defined and so were his abs. His hips started to sway and his hands went up in the air as he grinded into thin ai—

Splash!

Water started falling from above but it didn't seem to be raining. The water splashed down on Edward and water started to drip off him.

The water traveled down his face and neck down to his pale (perfect) chest and (perfect) abs. This seemed to make him look even more spar—

Whoosh!

"What the—" Juan gasped.

Pixie dust descended down onto Edward and he practically glowed! His form started floating up. He calmly closed his eyes and floated up to the skylight. His body sparkling like a diamond put under the sun to shine.

People gasped and narrowed their eyes to get a closer look at the defending champ.

"Give it up for Edward!" The crowd whooped and went wild.

The stage cleared up and the audience calmed down. Juan, the host, walked up to the stage with a fake smile plastered on his tanned face.

"I guess we all know who won already," he sighed. "Edw—"

"AHHHHH!"

Birthday girl's POV! (Katzie)

"AHHHHH!" I screamed as I sat up on my bed.

My heart beat very quickly and my breathing was rapid and uneven. My dad burst through the door of me and my sister's room. He quickly went to me with a concerned look on his face.

"What's wrong, Katz?" he asked me.

"Nightmare…" I whimpered. "V-vampire…Magn-n-nus…s-s-s-sparkles…" I shuddered.

Dad put a comforting arm around me as he sat beside me on my bed. He started rocking me back and forth as I continued to whimper softly.

"It's okay, honey," he cooed. "It was just a nightmare…"

Phew! I'm done. I hope you guys liked it. The ending was sort of off but I hoped you guys liked it a bit. I just couldn't keep myself from doing my friend's POV. Trust me, she's not a wimp (far from it) but she isn't that fond of Twilight. No offense to you, Twilight lovers! She just doesn't do vamps…

Reviews are adored and loved! Thank you!