Hey Y'all its Abby! I was reading a fic and they mentioned the song, "say something" and this just popped into my head. If I'm writing anything, it should be my 5 essays due next Friday but here's some Nico angst for you instead. Enjoy! (Oh and I'm okay btw. Don't freak out, I'm fine)
The voices were right
Anyone he had ever loved has left. Left him to the cold winter of his own mind. And now he's all alone and he doesn't know what to do.
But the voices do
The voices, whispers of those he had lost, and the horror of those he could have saved. He can't get them to shut up. They've been there a while but their strength, their influence, had grown stronger since the giant war had ended, when he lost some of the few friends he had had.
Just give it up
He will never love you, you freak
This pain can stop you know?
That sword in your pocket could cut deep enough.
They wouldn't stop.
He tried to sleep, but they followed him into his dreams, only there they had faces and bodies and forms and he felt trapped in his own mind. He wouldn't ever escape
He couldn't ever escape
Because this time the war was inside of him
And he didn't know what to do
They were swallowing him whole, like quick sand. But that wasn't even the worst part
The worst part was that he didn't even care, didn't event attempt to fight back
His light had dimmed long ago, to a mere candle flame
And now even that was gone.
Everyone he had ever loved, would ever love, everyone he cared about and they couldn't help
Because they didn't even notice
Didn't notice he stayed in his cabin for days, even weeks on end
Or when he started wearing long sleeves in the 100 degree heat
Didn't question why he didn't come to breakfast
Or lunch
Or dinner
No one noticed when he cried himself to sleep at night, only to be greeted by his past in the awful nightmares. Some days he couldn't tell if it was a dream or reality. They were both awful and he could only guess the truth. Neither had a good outcome
An outcome where he didn't take a blade to his skin
And end it all
Just a little deeper
You're almost there
Don't be a baby
Don't cry
You brought this upon yourself
You're almost dead
That's all he had wanted for so long. But after all he had seen of the underworld, he didn't favor either option. He was no hero, he would never make it the Elysium, never see the others again
And it tore him apart
Because he had no options
He lived, he died, same feelings. Same regrets, hopes, lost dreams, broken fantasies. Never a day went by when he didn't feel like screaming. Where he didn't want to pull his hair out in frustration. Because there was nothing left for him
No choice
No difference
No family, friends, anything
Bianca had been reborn without even saying good bye.
Had she ever really loved him? Or did she just put up with him.
That's all he was anyway, a burden
No one would miss him
No one would care
And the voices only confirmed these thoughts
Useless
Worthless
Waste of space
Freak
So what was he to do?
Live on in misery, or die in agony? None of his choices were good
And so in the end, he pulled out his blade
Said his quick good bye
To himself of course
Just a second and the pain would be over
So he pressed it to his skin
And then he was no more
