New oneshot!
It's quite dark but... enjoy!
I don't know if I could yell any louder
How many times have I kicked you out of here
Or said something insulting?
"You are unbelievable!"
They're past being angry with each other; they're furious now as they enter Beck's RV. It's late evening - nearly 7pm - and they've been fighting for a good hour and a half. They haven't stopped yelling once; their voices only increase with every sentence.
"I'm unbelievable? You're the one who's bugging about nothing!"
Jade slams the door of the RV closed loudly, making the pictures on the walls shake from the force. She throws her bag down on the floor and plants her hands firmly on her hips as she prepares herself for more fighting. She knows that it's only going to get worse from here onwards.
Beck's sure that if he tugs on his hair once more, he'll have no hair left as he has been doing it for the past hour and a half. He sighs loudly and runs his hands over his face instead. Fighting with Jade is always so tiring, and he just wants to collapse into bed and sleep. But he knows that this is far from over.
He takes a steadying breath before speaking, "I'm not bugging about nothing. I'm bugging over the fact that we were voted the worst couple... and the other couples weren't even couples!"
She sighs, "It was only a game show!"
It feels like they're just going around in circles. They have probably had the same argument over and over again, but with different words each time.
He chuckles humourlessly and rolls his eyes, "God, you just don't get it, do you?"
"Clearly I don't, so please explain!"
He steps towards her, "We have been dating for almost four years, Jade. Four years, and we were voted worst couple. Doesn't that say anything to you?" he asks, his voice freakishly calm and level.
"It says that Sinjin's game show was stupid!" she yells, unable to understand his frustration.
Beck shakes his head and walks away, leaning against the wall to collect his thoughts, breathing deeply as his shoulders tense.
I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
When my heart is
Broken
Jade sighs, exhausted from their fighting. She walks over to him and rests a hand on his tense bicep. He shrugs her off and turns to face her. She frowns, her eyes confused. He never rejects her. Ever.
"All we do is fight. Day in day out, and I'm sick of it!" He yells, his voice becoming louder with each word.
She scoffs, "And that's my fault?"
"Yes!" he yells harshly, staring her in the eyes.
Her mouth drops, "How is it my fault?" she screams. She can feel her throat beginning to burn from their continuous yelling, but she doesn't care. She won't give up.
He laughs harshly, "You're sarcastic. You're rude. You start fights over every little thing. You're really just a bitch sometimes, Jade."
That hurts.
How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I've never been this nasty
Jade can feel her heart slowly beginning to crack and fall apart in her chest. But for some reason, it only spurs her on - wanting to fight back harder.
"Yeah? Well what about you, huh? You're basically a robot, Beck. You never touch me anymore! You won't even hold my hand. I'm lucky if I even get a kiss these days! What, do I not make you happy anymore?"
He stays silent and holds eye contact with her for a few moments before finally speaking, "It's hard to be happy when all we do is fight."
She scoffs, "Well maybe if you showed a little affection, we wouldn't fight!"
Silence falls in the RV as both of them become lost in their thoughts. Their cheeks are flushed and their throats are burning from all the yelling. Jade leans back against the wall, her shoulders hunching in exhaustion. While Beck begins to pace the length of the RV. Finally, the silence is broken.
"I can't do this anymore," Beck says, his back facing her.
Although on some level Jade new that this was coming, it still hurt more than she thought it would. But for some reason, instead of getting upset, it angers her even more. So much so, that she storms over to him and shoves his back roughly, making him stumble.
Beck spins around and grabs her wrists tightly, a look in his eyes that Jade has never seen before. It almost scares her. His fingers tighten around her wrists and make her wince in pain.
"You see? That is exactly why I can't do this anymore. I can't take your crap any longer, Jade. I'm surprised I even made it this long," he says, his voice low and dangerous.
Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest
Jade rips her wrists from his grasp and glares at him, her eyes cold - masking the hurt that she feels deep inside, "Fine. We're done," she spits.
She storms away and grabs her bag, throwing it on her shoulder before spinning around to face him again, "You get what you want?" she yells.
He stays silent.
She laughs coldly to herself, fighting back tears, "Yeah. Fine. I don't need you, Beck. Go have fun with some other girl, God knows you probably have already," she spits.
Beck snaps. He grabs a picture frame from beside his bed and hurls it against the wall, making a satisfying crash as it smashes. He marches over to her, his eyes filled with rage.
"I never cheated on you. Ever! Don't you dare accuse me of that! At least I have girls lined up to date me, good luck finding someone else to ever love you," he screams.
That does it.
He doesn't know why he says it. Blinded by rage? Possibly. But he's too angry to care right now.
Jade stops and just stares at him, her eyes filling with tears. But she refuses to cry. Not in front of him. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of it. Instead, she just turns around and leaves. Beck says nothing as she walks out of the RV, but winces as the door slams behind her loudly.
Suddenly, it's all too quiet. The complete polar opposite of what it had been several minutes earlier. He looks around the RV and sighs, instantly regretting everything he just said. He collapses down onto his bed and buries his pounding head into his hands.
But baby, I don't mean it
I mean it
I promise
Jade can barely see as she drives home; her eyes are filled with tears - hot, angry yet heartbroken tears. One escapes and slides down her cheek. She makes no move to wipe it away. She knows what she needs to do. Something she hasn't done since she started dating Beck nearly four years ago. But right now she needs it more than anything.
Please don't leave me
Please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please don't leave me
She pulls into her driveway and immediately turns off the car and quickly climbs out. Her hands are itching to get inside and begin. Her house is empty, thankfully. She remembers her parents telling her they were taking her brother out for dinner, and she silently thanks them as she enters the silent house. She storms up the stairs and into her bedroom.
Flicking on the light, she throws her bag away and immediately begins searching through her drawers, knowing that it has to be there somewhere. She didn't throw it away, even after she told Beck that it was gone. She throws her clothes and other items onto the floor, becoming increasingly desperate to find her saviour.
Finally, her right hand falls upon the familiar object and she pulls it out. She smiles to herself, despite her unstable state, and holds the object up to the light.
Her pen-knife.
It wasn't necessarily hers. She had found it in her father's toolbox and loved how the light reflected off of it, so she stole it from him. He never noticed. But what she noticed, was how much she loved to see her blood upon it.
Before meeting Beck, Jade would cut every day without fail. It was her addiction, and she couldn't stop. It relaxed her - let her focus on making pretty wounds on her arms, instead of focusing on the problems in her life. When Beck had found out her secret, he cried. Bearing in mind they were only thirteen years old at the time. He forbid her from ever doing it again, telling her that she was too beautiful to scar herself in that way.
She looks around her room and finds a crumpled piece of plain paper and a pen before she runs into the bathroom and clicks the light on before slamming the door closed and locking it tightly like she always used to do. She sits down in the same place she sat before and pulled her leather jacket off before flinging her bracelets away, exposing her bare wrist.
Jade smiles to herself and runs her fingers over it, feeling some of the light scars that still remained from years ago. She flicks open the pen-knife, the satisfying 'click' bringing back so many memories. She stares at it for a moment, running her index finger over the sharp point, letting it scratch her finger.
Her smile fades as she thinks back to what just happened. She and Beck were over. Done. Finished. What could she do now? He was her rock. Despite everything she said, she needs him. She's always loved him, no matter what. Tears come to her eyes once again and her head falls back against the bath as she hovers the blade over her skin.
She had contemplated suicide many times before, but had always been too chicken to actually go through with it. But now... things were different. She was different. She doesn't like the person she has become over the past few years. Beck was right, she was a bitch to anyone and everyone who crossed her path.
She digs the blade into her skin as the tears fall faster and heavier. Maybe Beck was right, no one else would love her, would they? She had gotten lucky with Beck, but now he's gone. He doesn't want anything to do with her. Why would he? He was right, all they do is fight. Who wants that everyday for the rest of their life?
Jade looks down as the blade pierces her skin, the feeling strangely familiar, even after all these years. She digs it deeper and sighs as the first drop of blood appears, running a path down her pale arm. Her hand drags the blade down her arm, creating one long and deep cut - the blood beginning to appear faster.
She lets her head fall back as she sighs contently, feeling all her pain ebb away as the blood runs down her arm and onto the white floor. She is vaguely aware of her phone ringing in her bedroom, but she doesn't care. It'll all be over soon.
But not soon enough. It's not enough for her. She needs more.
She manages to pull herself up and reaches into the medicine cabinet. Swiping several bottles of pills onto the floor, she sits back down, becoming weaker and weaker... but it's kind of nice. She opens the pill bottles and stares at the small tablets inside before pouring them into her lap. She grabs the paper and the pen.
This is it.
OIUYTREWADFGHLMNBVCX
It's late at night and Beck is lying in bed, unable to sleep. His mind is still reeling from earlier. His heart breaks a little more each time he think about what he said to Jade. The pillow beneath his head still smells like her, so he hugs it tightly and imagines it's her.
He thinks about calling her to apologise, but it's too late at night, and he doubts that she'll want to speak to him. Just as he decides to stop thinking about it and go to sleep, his phone rings from beside him. He groans and reaches out to answer it without checking the caller ID.
"Hello?" he croaks, his voice weak from all the yelling earlier.
"Beck! Oh my God, you have to help her, oh my God!" Cat's panicked voice comes through the phone.
Beck is instantly awake, "What happened, Cat?" he asks, sitting up in bed and clicking the light on.
"It's Jade, oh my God," she sobs hysterically.
His heart stops.
"She- she's in her bathroom, and she won't come out. She won't respond to me either. Oh my God, and her pen-knife is gone," she cries, her voice getting higher and higher. Cat had always known about Jade's secret. She even knew where her pen-knife was kept - the back of her sock drawer buried beneath everything. Jade had sworn Cat to secrecy when the redhead had accidentily seen the scars on Jade's arms whilst staying over at her house. Cat never told a soul.
"I'm on my way," Beck manages to find his voice before hanging up and leaping out of bed. He throws on a shirt and some sweatpants and shoes before running out of the RV.
When he arrives at Jade's house - in record time - he runs into the house and heads straight for the stairs, taking them two at a time. He turns the corner at the top and finds Cat crying hysterically outside of the bathroom. She gasps as she sees him and runs to him.
Beck catches her and kisses her hair comfortingly before going straight over to the bathroom door, "Jade? Jade can you hear me? Are you in there?" he asks while pounding on the door.
Silence.
He can hear Cat crying behind him as he continuously pounds on the door. His heart is thumping in his chest as each moment passes without a response from inside the bathroom. Not even the sound of a movement emerges.
"Stand back," he tells Cat. She jumps back and holds her head in her hands as she cries, terrified for her best friend.
Beck backs away from the door before bringing his leg up and kicking it forecefully, making it slam open and Cat squeak in shock. He immediately runs into the bathroom, but stops dead.
I forgot to say out loud
How beautiful you really are to me
He can hear Cat scream from behind him as she too enters the bathroom.
His beautiful girl, was just spread out on the floor, almost like a rag-doll that had been flung to the ground and then left. She was deathly pale. He had always loved her pale skin, especially in comparison to his own tan skin, which he was pretty sure was completely white in horror now. But her skin was almost grey. Her eyes were closed as she rest her head on the floor, surrounded by pills. Beck's stomach churned as his eyes fell upon the deep gash in her arm, where blood was still spilling out, adding to the already large puddle on the white tiled floor.
"Call an ambulance, now!" He yells to Cat as he kneels down beside Jade. Cat can only sob in response as she dials 911 before crying to the operator.
Beck pulls Jade into his arms. She's cold. So cold. Tears come to his eyes as he gazes down at his girl. He moves his hand to her neck to check her pulse, and his heart leaps as he feels it. It's very faint, but it's there. She's still alive.
"C'mon baby, please wake up. Please," he whispers, hysterical as the tears fall freely down his cheeks. He strokes her hair away from her face and presses a kiss to her forehead. Looking around, he finds a towel and grabs it, wrapping it around her arm tightly, trying to stop the blood pouring from her arm. His jeans are already covered in her blood, but he doesn't care.
He begins to think about all the things he never got to say to her. He never truly told her how beautiful she really was to him. Or how much she really meant to him. He regrets every mean thing he ever said to her. Their argument earlier seems so petty now, how did it end up like this?
"Beck," Cat whispers from behind him.
He turns to look up at her, both pairs of distraught eyes meeting each other. Cat's holding a crumpled piece of paper in her left hand as she still holds the phone to her ear, waiting for an update on the ambulance. Beck reaches up and takes the paper from her. It's Jade's handwriting on it, he knows her elegant scrawl anywhere.
I need you.
I'm sorry.
That's all it says. Nothing more than those simple words, but they're enough to break Beck's heart all over again. He should have known. He should have known that she needed him this much. But for some reason, he didn't think. He needs her too, more than anything.
Forget about the constant fighting. Forget about the yelling. Forget about the harsh words. He just needs her, and only her.
Please
Please, Don't leave me.
He crumples the note in his hand as he begins to sob, hunching over Jade's body as he cries. "Please," he sobs, "Please, don't leave me."
Cat can only watch in despair, unable to speak as her heart breaks. She can't take it, and her knees give out from beneath her, sending her to the floor next to Beck as she cries with him, praying that the ambulance would arrive before it's too late.
It's a very different scene now compared to several hours ago when Beck and Jade were screaming bloody murder at each other. Now, it's completely silent, with only the sobs of Beck and Cat ghosting through the air. They're terrified.
One thing is for sure though; Beck is praying for one moment with Jade, just to tell her that he's sorry, that he didn't mean anything he said, that he needs her.
But most importantly; that he loves her.
Please, Please
Don't leave me