On The Road
Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds, don't you know that by now?
Summary: Emily, Hotch, JJ and Dave ride back together to Quantico after the jet can't take off. Doesn't seem like such a big hassle right? Not until Emily and JJ decide to pass the time by irritating the men...
A/N: This originally started off as four separate oneshots, but since I've been doing "spring cleaning" with my stories I decided to post them in a multi-chapter series of oneshots. Enjoy.
hanks for reading, it would be nice if you left a review...
"I travel not to go anywhere but to travel, but to go. I travel for travels sake. The great affair is the move." Robert Louis Stevenson
"Miss Susie had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell" Emily and JJ said clapping there hands "Miss Susie went to heaven, the steam boat went to... Hello operator, please give me number nine. If you disconnect me I'll kick you from behind..."
Hotch groaned when he heard Emily and JJ giggle in the backseat. Looking over he saw Dave massaging his temples while silently praying.
"Do you two mind?" Hotch asked looking in the rear view mirror, looking at the brunette and blonde.
Emily looked over at Hotch giving him a saucy grin, "No, I don't mind at all."
Rolling his eyes, Hotch glared at the sassy brunette and said, "No more Miss Susie-ing. Ok?"
JJ shrugged her shoulders, "All right."
JJ looked over at Emily who was looking out the window, she smirked and looked over at JJ nodding towards the passing car. JJ nodded and both women leaned forward in there seat.
"Slug bug, blue." Emily said punching Hotch as he drove.
"Ow, son of a bitch" Hotch grumbled, "Damn it, Prentiss."
Dave chuckled, "What's the matter, Hotch? Too much for you?"
"Try being socked in the arm while driving, Dave." Hotch grumbled keeping one hand on the steering wheel as he rubbed his injured shoulder.
"Honestly Aaron, it's just a game... Son of a bitch" Dave said when JJ punched him in the arm.
"Slug bug, red." JJ said grinning at the glaring Dave.
"Just a game, Dave." Hotch mimicked "Girls, knock it off."
Emily looked over at JJ and sighed, "Alphabet Game?"
"Alphabet Game" JJ agreed.
"I'm afraid to ask." Dave muttered eyeing the two in the backseat.
"A..." Emily said looking outside, "Albertsons!"
"Too easy." JJ murmured, "B... Bank of America."
"C..." Emily said looking outside, "Costco."
JJ nodded, "D..."
"Don't you two think you can play something quieter," Hotch asked "Like tic tac toe?"
Emily scoffed at that, "Right."
"Or play a game on your cell phones?" Dave offered.
"Hotch told us to save those for emergencies." JJ pointed out.
"Radio?" Emily asked.
"I'm getting a head ache." Hotch muttered "How about some quiet?"
"Boring" Emily said "Unless you can think of something suitable, we can..."
Both male profilers looked at each other in annoyance, knowing this was going to be a long ride back.
"Don't you two have..." Dave asked "You're iPods or something?"
Emily and JJ went through there bags,
"Damn it." Emily muttered. "I forgot to charge it."
"I got mine." JJ said, "Hear take an ear bud."
Hotch looked over at Dave sighing, "Thank God."
Emily's foot tapped to the beat, "Sing JJ?"
Both men groaned, wondering what pop song the two women would be singing.
"Love is like a bomb, baby" Emily sang "C'mon get it on. Livin' like a lover with a red hot thong. Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp. Demolition woman, can I be your man?"
Hotch's breath stop, and Dave wore a smirk on his face.
"Razzle 'n' a dazzle 'n' flash a little light. Television lover, baby, go all night." JJ sang. "Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet. Little miss ah innocent sugar me, yeah."
Dave's jaw dropped, as both men tried to keep their eyes on the road ahead of them, glad that they were nearing the end of their trip almost towards the BAU.
"Take a bottle, shake it up." Emily and JJ sang smirking "Break the bubble, break it up."
Both women looked over at the overtly flustered men, looking at each other they both smirked as the
"Pour some sugar on me." Both women sang "In the name of love. Pour some sugar on me, C'mon fire me up, pour your sugar on me."
"I'm hot sticky sweet" Emily sang "From my head to my feet, yeah."
"Listen! Red light, yellow light, green-a-light go, crazy little woman in a one man show..." JJ sang.
Both men tried to keep their mind on the road, instead of the two women rocking out in the back of the car, as their voices got husky from the rock song.
Hotch stopped the car, relieved that they were at the BAU.
"Hey" JJ said noticing the car had stopped, "Ah we're here already."
Emily pulled the ear bud from her ear, "Eh, see how much time passes when you're having fun?"
"Yeah, it was a blast" Dave muttered trying to get the song out of his head.
Hotch just eyed Dave, shaking his head as he got out of the car. His mind was stuck on the last few moments and he just wanted out of there.
Both women got out of the car smirking at each other.
"It worked." JJ said raising an eyebrow at the brunette.
"And you doubted me?" Emily said placing a hand to her chest, "I'm hurt."
JJ shook her head, "At least now we're on there radar, and that's what we both wanted."
"Yes" Emily said raising an eyebrow as the two women headed for the elevator "But I do gotta tell you, I didn't know you knew 'Miss Susie'."
JJ laughed, "My mom and her sister use to do it every family get together," JJ said "Use to annoy the hell out of my dad."
Emily chuckled, "Told you it was good thing to annoy them to near insanity then get them worked up."
"You certainly have a devious mind, Emily Prentiss." JJ said approvingly "And that is never a bad thing."
"Especially when it comes to Hotch and Dave." Emily added, "And I just loved bugging the hell out of them."
"I prefer an pleasant vice to an annoying virtue." Moliere
To Be Continued...
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