Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I have no rights to Harry Potter nor do I make any money from writing these fic's.
This one shot was written for the 'My All the Five sense's challenge by nyxxxxx. My pairing is Sirius/Remus/Harry. My prompts are
Touch : Dry
Smell: Spicy
Sound: A Bang
Taste: Firewhisky
Sight: Broom stick
It's the newest model
Remus and Harry looked at each other before letting out a loud suffering groan.
"What?" Sirius asked his two lovers' with a pout, "It's the newest model!"
Harry eyed the sight before him, "Sirius it's a broomstick, I'm just as mad about the sport as you but…
"What we're trying to say is that it's not a magical broomstick," Remus said as he quickly backed Harry up, "It's just a normal muggle one with no spells on it or anything."
"But just touch it for a moment and feel that wood," Sirius moaned as he pointed to the broomstick, "Can't you feel that?"
"I can feel that the wood's not even had chance to dry out yet," Remus muttered as he touched the broom, "Even if you somehow did get the broom up in the air it has a good chance of not working right."
"But there's nothing wrong with it!" Sirius said with a pout, "It's just a new model is all!"
"Really Sirius," Harry said with a raised eyebrow, "A new model? It looks like the broom I used to use to sweep my aunt's patio with."
"But that's why it's so great for!" Sirius cried out as he tried to defend his new 'broomstick', "It looks like a normal broom that muggle's would of used to sweep the floor with!"
"But if it's so good at hiding in plain sight what would happen if you lost it in a broom shop or something?" Remus said as he tried to think up an example, "You know there would be a problem there."
"That's the whole point; you could leave your broomstick there then go and enjoy your day!" Sirius said, "Besides you can easily find your broomstick again because of the smell!"
"The smell?" Remus and Harry questioned in confusion.
"That's right, can't you smell it?" Sirius took in a deep breath while making show of a large silly smile on his face, "That spicy smell is unique to this broomstick you see! Each broomstick of this model has their own unique smells to it so each owner can work out which one of the broom's belong to them!"
"I thought that spicy was more of a taste then a smell," Harry commented as he eyed the broomstick carefully, "Besides is it safe for you to be riding that thing if it does work? I mean by the looks of it would have failed all the tests that are done to make sure it's safe…Siri…"
"Ah don't worry pup," Sirius said as he pulled Harry into a tight but loving hug, "I promise you it's safe, nothing will happen to me."
Remus snorted, "You said the same thing to James in your sixth year before you ended up in the Hospital Wing after finding out that you wasn't a-"
Sirius placed his hand over Remus' mouth quickly, "Now now Remmy love, we don't need to be repeating that again do we? I mean we're talking about this wonderful broomstick we see before us!"
"Tell me Siri," Harry said as he gave Sirius large puppy dog eyes, "Please, I want to know."
Sirius gulped nervously as he looked at Harry, "It's nothing important pup, Remmy here is just trying-"
A loud knock at the door came, and much to Sirius' relief, didn't stop.
"I'll go and get it," Sirius cried out as he ran out of the living room and down the hallway, "I'll get it!"
Coming to a sudden stop at the front door Sirius quickly opened it only to find a Ministry official standing on the other side of the door.
"Lord Black?" the female said as she looked Sirius up and down with a small sneer planted on her face, "My name is Ms. Emily Smith and I'm here for your broomstick."
Sirius' hands moved to protect his manhood while he gave the woman the evil eye.
"Honestly, not that broomstick," Ms. Smith muttered with a glare, "I heard that you have recently come into the possession of a new type of broomstick?"
"I have if it's the one I think you're talking about," Sirius said slowly, wondering where this could lead too, "I brought it legally from a shop and everything, I even have a receipt for it too."
"Well either way I am here to remove it from your possession," Ms. Smith said with a small huff, "We have found out that the shop you brought it from was not approved by us so we are going around and collecting the broomsticks that the shop has sold. So please hand over the broomstick."
"WHAT!" Sirius cried out, "But…but the broomstick is perfectly fine! I've found no problems with it!"
"I find that hard to believe Lord Black," Ms. Smith said with her nose in the air, "If it was anything like the last one…well its best to just hand over the broomstick now before-"
A loud bang sound came from the living room followed by black smoke.
"Oh no, did you hear that?" Sirius asked as his thoughts went to his two lovers, "Sorry about this."
With that Sirius left Ms. Smith standing at the open door as he ran through the house and crashed through into a smoky living room.
"Harry! Remus!" Sirius cried out frantically as he pulled out his wand, "Where are you? Are you both alright? Please, answer me."
The next thing Sirius knew was that two hands grabbed his top causing him to let out a girlish scream.
"Siri," came Remus' voice, "Stop it you fool, it's only us."
"Remus! Harry!" Sirius cried out in relief as he waved his wand causing the smoke to disappear, "What happened? Are you both alright? You're not hurt are you?"
"We're both fine," Remus said as he tried to calm Sirius down, "It's just that your new broomstick decided that it'd blow up on us."
"What!" Sirius cried out as he looked around the room, "Where is it? I'll get rid of it! It's worth nothing if you two get hurt."
Remus and Harry blushed madly at Sirius' words.
"Here," Harry said as he handed Sirius a small burnt twig, "It's all that was left, I caught it as it came flying towards me."
"I've never been so glad of your seeker reflexes before now," Remus said as he hugged both Sirius and Harry, "Who knows where it would of ended up!"
"That's it, I think we need a little something to calm our nerves," Sirius said with a sigh, "How about we introduce Harry to the taste of Firewhisky Remus?"
"Normally I'd say no but I think that this calls for it," Remus said with a sigh.
"Don't worry Siri," Harry said as he kissed Sirius on the forehead lovingly, "I'll buy you a new broomstick of your choosing."
"Thanks love, and this time we'll be careful to check out the shop first," Sirius said slowly only to let out a groan, "Oh no, I forgot! I left her standing in the doorway!"
"Forgot what?" Remus asked with a frown, "Who did you leave?"
"I'll be back in a second," Sirius said ignoring Remus' questions, "I've got something that needs to be taken care of first."
With that Sirius took the twig from Harry's hand and ran back to where Ms. Smith was still waiting.
"Is everything alright?" Ms. Smith asked as she looked Sirius over, "What was that noise about?"
"Here is the broomstick you came for," Sirius said as he placed what was left of it in her hands, "Have a nice day."
And as Sirius closed the door on Ms. Smith's shocked face the last words caused Sirius to burst out laughing while Harry and Remus gave a confused look:
"A broomstick? This isn't a broomstick! It's a twig!"
The End.
Poor Sirius, all he wanted to do was show off his new broomstick!