A/N: Just a short oneshot.

Disc.: Not mine. All belongs to J.E. and Rhianna

Take a Bow

Life is a funny thing. Always when you think you´ve seen it all, something comes around the corner that puts everything previous to a shame.

Sometimes a situation is so ridiculous there is only one thing a woman can do….Sing!

How 'bout a round of applause?

Standing ovation?

Ohhhh

yeah yeah yeah yeah mhh

Yep that definitely got their attention. After all I´m standing here for at least five minutes.

You look so dumb right now

Lying on my table right now*

Trying to apologize

You're so ugly when you cry

Please,

Just cut it out

I ask you, how high is the possibility that the same woman walks into the same situation twice? Not highly you might say and I would readily agree except if your name is Stephanie Plum. And as fate will have it, my name IS Stephanie Plum.

Don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not

Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show

Really had me going

But now it's time to go

Curtain's finally closing

That was quite a show

Very entertaining

But it's over now (but it´s over now)

Go on and take a bow

Let me enlighten you what my little a capella performance brought on. I came home from a completely Fubar´d distraction job for RangeMan. Skip recognized me as soon as I entered the shabby bar, bolted, caught Ram by surprise and ran him over and stabbed Lester in the arm before Tank and Ranger could subdue him. While Ranger and Tank took the skip to the cop shop, I took Ram and Lester back to Haywood into the capable hands of Bobby, the RangeMan medic. Luckily Lester only needed a few stiches; and Ram an icepack for his head and a few beers for his wounded pride. All in all, the whole ordeal took just an hour and I was back at home.

Imagine my surprise when I found my, now permanently off again, boyfriend Joe Morelli banging Joyce Barnhard on MY dining room table in MY fucking apartment.

Grab your clothes and get gone

You better hurry up

Before the sprinklers come on

Talkin' 'bout, girl, I love you, you're the one

This just looks like the re-run

Please, what else is on

Finally the blood found his way back to Joe's brain and he leaped away from the skank.

"Cup…" he started but I raised my hand and kept singing.

The nerve of that man! Banging the town-slut is one thing, but on my table, in my apartment and then thinking I would listen to his pitiful excuses?

Oh, please…

What the hell would he tell me anyway? That he just happened to stumble over her in my apartment while waiting for me? And his poor dick just happened to accidently land in her diseased ridden cunt?

Yeah, right…

And don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not

Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show

Really had me going

But now it's time to go

Curtain's finally closing

That was quite a show

Very entertaining

But it's over now

Go on and take a bow

I just increased the volume.

Ohhhhhhh

And the award for the best liar goes to you

For making me believe

That you could be

Faithful to me

Let's hear your speech out

Finally getting the hint they both get dressed.

How ´bout a round of applause? ( laugh)

Standing ovation?

And left.

But you put on quite a show

Really had me going

But now it's time to go

Curtain's finally closing

That was quite a show

Very entertaining, eyyyyeahhh

But it's over now

Go on and take a bow

But it's over now...

I grabbed the damned table and dragged it out of my apartment. As I looked around I thought a redecoration was long over-due or better yet, a change of location. I mean it´s not as if this shabby flat is the penthouse at the Trump Tower.

While I was standing in my living room and weighing the pros and cons of redecorating vs. moving, Ranger appeared.

"Didn´t know you were such a good singer, Babe."

´PFF, right. Wait, ´ I turned sharply. `What? How? `

His ESP must have kicked in, ´cause he said,

"You are still wired, Babe."

Oh! I reached under my tank top and sure enough under my left breast was the tiny mic.

"OH! So, all RangeMan heard?" I asked while ripping the mic off and throwing it to Ranger.

"Yeah. And Hector recorded it, too!" he caught it with ease.

FUCK. This is so embarrassing. Not only did the Merry Man heard my pitiful attempt at singing, now they know that another man in my life screwed Barnhardt on my dinner table.

And have it recorded is just the cherry on top.

`Ah well, suck it up Plum.` I said to myself, `When life gives you lemons make lemonade. And it isn´t like Morelli was the love of your life. `

"Too bad I wasn´t wired for visual, too. You really should invest in some of those mini-cameras; you never know when you stumble across blackmail material."

Ranger smiled all 1000-watts. "Only you, Babe."

Ranger stalked to me, grabbed me around my waist and pulled me flush against his hard body.

He looked deep into my eyes and asked softly.

"Where do you want to go from here, Babe?"

And I whispered the only possible answer.

"The Batcave."

~~~~~oooo~~~~~

*original line: Standing outside my house