YAY! Aren't you excited? You're about to read this Fanfiction! It's 4:30 A.M. I should be asleep. Who needs it? Not me. Did you know that Tanukis aren't racoons, but a kind of canine? Like a dog. That was a useless piece of nonsense! Enjoy the reading! :3
It was a lovely day for Ranma Saotome and his best friend Ukyo Kuonji.
"Thanks for lunch, Ucchan!" Laughed Ranma, licking a bit of sauce from his fingers.
"You got lucky this time..." Said Ukyo from under her friend's behind. She was covered in dirt and lying on her belly. The kid squirmed and eventually got Ranma off.
They were under the shade of a tall tree, one that had lived a long and good tree life. Had the tree been able to speak, it would probably be laughing at the children's antics.
Meanwhile, not far away, Genma Saotome was having a long, hard, mental argument with himself.
I promised Tendo that I'd marry off my son to one of his daughters… but a free cart of food could keep us fed for quite a while… and I already said yes. The boy should decide. Yeah! That way, I can't really be blamed for anything if something goes wrong. I just got to make sure I phrase it in a way that'll he'll surely go with my choice.
"Ranma my boy, come over here!" Called the father, walking over to that shady tree "Ukyo, could you please give us some time to ourselves?"
Ukyo left. She was curious though, as most young children are, so she hid in a bush and listened.
Genma sat his son in his lap and began to speak. His voice was serious, and nothing about his manner betrayed his nervousness.
"Son, this is a very important question, so think carefully."
"…'kay!" Answered Ranma. In the bush, Ukyo's ears almost twitched, she was so focused.
"What do you like best? Ukyo or Okonomiyaki?"
Ranma was about to say the latter, when Ukyo poked her little head from the bush. Genma hadn't noticed, but his son certainly did.
"Ucchan!" Said Ranma.
The girl pulled her head back in. The father was in shock. Ranma had chosen the wrong answer.
The boy laughed.
"Ukyo's my best friend! He's fun to play with." It was little kid babble, mostly just to hear himself chirp. But it gave his father the inspiration for a way out.
Ukyo knew she was Ranma's fiancé. Her daddy had told her so. She didn't have any nice clothes to wear for when Mr. Saotome was to whisk her away, perhaps to someday marry Ranma.
She was thinking about the entire thing, sitting down with her back against the cart. The wood was somewhat rough, and the whole thing moved slightly when she pressed her weight against it.
"Psst, Ukyo, over here!" Hissed Genma, from across the street. The girl walked over.
"I gotta secret for you, but you can't let anyone know." The man said.
"What is it?" Asked Ukyo.
"You aren't really getting married to my son, boy."
"But…I'm a girl…"
She was reacting just right.
"No, you're a very special boy. A different kind of boy. And boys can't get married to each other. This whole thing is so people don't think I'm kidnapping you."
"Then why are you taking me?" Asked Ukyo, eyes full of surprise and curiosity.
"Because, you are going to be Ranma's new brother. I'm going to raise you as my own, broaden your horizons, and teach you how to be a great martial artist, because you are so strong."
"Does daddy know?"
"Yeah. This was his idea, but he didn't want to make you upset, so he asked me to tell you. But remember, you gotta be quiet about it. And you can't tell Ranma that you're different. He might worry about it too much."
"Okay." Ukyo nodded solemnly. She went back to the cart.
Perfect.
Ranma would never fall in love with his own brother! All I have to do now is trick Kuonji into thinking I'm taking Ukyo as my son's bride, hightail it outta here, and I get a free cart of chow. Who knows, perhaps the girl will make a good student. Everything works out okay.
A day later, Genma was walking away with the cart; the children perched on top of the little roof. He had asked Kuonji to refrain from mentioning the whole Fiancé thing, telling him that Ranma was going to be told when the time was right. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, and the air smelled extremely fresh, maybe even sweet.
"So Ukyo's my brother now?" Asked Ranma when they were out of town.
"Yes, and you two are going to train until you never want to train again. And then you'll train some more! Starting… tomorrow."
"Is training with your dad fun?" Ukyo looked to Ranma.
"Our Dad!" Laughed Ranma.
Let's skip forward a few years. Ranma grew into a handsome young man, strong and steady. Ukyo matured too. However, she was forced to conceal her body from everyone, masking her gender. They never went to hot springs or bath houses, Genma made the entire family keep all clothes on at all time. He wasn't going to mess this up.
Genma adapted the story for Ukyo's growing level of maturity, saying that it was a rare disorder that caused her apparent femininity. He told Ukyo of the promise to his wife and told her that Ranma must have nothing to worry about other than training.
And boy did they train. Both of his "sons" became excellent martial artists. Ranma always had the upper hand on his "brother" in brute strength, but Ukyo was far more nimble and could out twist and turn Ranma.
They were as happy as any family could be. And relatively normal. At least until the incident occurred.
"China?" Asked Ranma, dodging a punch to the chest from his "Brother". He sent out a kick that Ukyo practically leapt over.
"There's a training ground that I want to bring you two over to." Answered his father.
"Alright, pops." Answered the "boys" simultaneously. Ranma knocked his sparring partner down.
"Looks like I beat you again, Ucchan."
"I'll get you next time, Ranchan."
Swimming to China sounds like an arduous task, if not impossible to most. But not to the Saotome family. After reaching the shore and hiking to China, they found what they were looking for.
The tour guide had a thick accent, and smelled of Chinese spices and pork. As he introduced the place as Jusenkyo, the valley of cursed springs, he smiled, as he enjoyed his job. It was a simple place, lots of springs with bamboo poles sticking out of them.
"This place isn't nearly as bad as you said." said Ranma.
"Yeah, seems pretty safe…" Agreed Ukyo.
"Boys, follow me!" Yelled Genma.
The father leapt onto the bamboo poles, his sons following. The guide said something about each spring having a "Tragic story" or some bologna of that caliber. Nobody really cared about Mr. Jusenkyo-guide-man. No one ever did. But he was used to it, and it only hurt his feelings slightly by this point.
"I won't go easy on you two!" Remarked Genma.
"That's just the way we like it." Smirked Ranma, speaking for both sons.
The Sparring began in earnest, the martial artists jumping from pole to pole.
The tour guide grew excited once again. And once again, he was completely ignored, like he was of no more importance than an ant on a sidewalk.
Ukyo and Ranma double teamed Genma, kicking him into a spring.
"We done already, Pops?" Asked Ukyo.
Ranma and his "brother" grinned at each other. There was movement in the spring Genma fell into. And suddenly, a black and white furry form emerged, looking none too pleased. A panda. It balanced itself on one of the poles.
"Wha-What the hell is that?" Ranma yelped.
"Shonmaonīchuan, Spring of drown panda, very tragic story of how panda drown in spring two thousand year ago, now whoever fall in spring take body of panda"
"What?" Ukyo was dumbfounded. Her brother wasn't much better. Genma the panda was just plain annoyed though, and he quickly punched both his sons into two different springs.
Ranma Surfaced first, as a young girl with crimson hair.
"Oh, too bad, you fall in Nyannīchuan, Spring of drowned girl, there very tragic story of young girl who drown there one thousand five hundred year ago. Now whoever fall in spring take body of a young girl."
Ranma opened hi-…her shirt and screamed. Girly Bits. The horror.
"See, now you young girl."
"Wait. Ucchan!" Ranma whipped her head around. In a nearby spring, a small, racoonish creature attempted to swim, but was clearly struggling.
"Ucchan!" Ranma grabbed her, and pulled her out. As the guide explained that Ukyo had fallen into the spring of drown Raccoon dog, the family collected themselves a little.
…Well. This is going to cause a snag. Thought Genma the panda.
This is so weird… Thought Ukyo Tanuki.
…I got freaking boobs. Why me? Ranma…or Ranko mentally whined.
And so, the trio started off in search of a way to change back. A solution was right under their noses. Hot water. And there were bigger surprises in store for them. Much bigger.
Alright. This was short. The idea wouldn't leave me alone. Review if you wanna!
-Bernard.