The Talk

Zoro had never been good at talking to people, much less having to explain things to them. That is, until his ever questioning captain approached him with a question that would make it all the more awkward for him to speak to people.

There was a slight drizzle of rain hitting the ship, as Zoro sat by the mast enjoying the cool morning. His thoughts were elsewhere at the moment, as he gazed around the all too familiar scenery of barrels and rope, with cargo tightly strung to the sides. The deck was still had a dull shine to it, after all Franky was the ships mechanic and he was good at his job.

It was at this moment that the charcoaled hair captain Luffy bounded towards Zoro and glomped the lime green haired man.

"Luffy!? What the he-"

"Zoro! I have a question to ask you!" the captains' grin grew impossibly wide.

Zoro heaved a heavy sigh, it was impossible for him to get any peace anymore it seemed…, "Alright luffy, what do you want?"

The question that left the captains' mouth was unmistakable, "Where do babies come from?"

Zoros' mouth dropped open as he looked his captain over, "Where do babies come from?"

"Yeah that's what I asked!" he seemed very impatient.

Zoro thought about how to explain this to his innocent captain, without having to corrupt his mind. He guessed it would be good practice for the inevitable time when he would have his own little demons to teach about the talk. Sitting up a bit more straight, he cleared his throat a bit before looking at his captain again, "Well… babies come from the stomachs of girls,"

Luffy looked down at his own stomach, "So… they come out there belly buttons? Is that why we have them?"

Zoro almost chuckled at the comment, "N…no Luffy, They… uh… come from a woman between their legs,"

Luffy still looked confused, "So… how do they get there? Makino always told me the stork brought the babies when you called it! I knew she was lying!"

Zoro smacked himself in the face, 'The stork! Why didn't I think of that!?'

Why is Zoro smacking himself in the head?" Luffy laughed out loud.

"I was… thinking,"

Luffy gave a pouty look, "Well, how do the babies get there?"

Zoros' face started to turn slightly pink, "Well, a man and a woman have to have intercourse… you know… sex,"

Luffy looked even more confused, "What's sex?"

'Dear whatever makes us fucking exist, please tell me he did not ask that question…' Zoro thought silently.

"Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!"

"ALRIGHT! JUST SHUT UP A MOMENT!"

"Hahahaha! Zoros' face is red! Are you angry Zoro?"

Zoro rubbed his temples before trying it over again, "Well… when a man and a woman, or a man and a man, or even a woman and a woman love each other, they have sex, and…"

"I didn't ask who does it! I asked what it is!"

"Give me a moment!" he snarled, "Well anyway I'll use a man and a woman as an example cause' it's the easiest! Anyway… you know the thing between your legs?"

"Yeah? What about it?" he seemed curious.

"Well… uh, a woman has something different and… well… it goes in there,"

"In what?"

"Their 'Private area', you put it in there and you do that in and out,"

"then what happens?"

Zoro could feel his face heat up with frustration and embarrassment, 'Man… I need a drink after this…' he took a sigh, "Then you'll produce sperm and they'll swim to the eggs in a girl and they'll fertilize it. Then nine months later a baby will pop out,"

Luffys' eyes grew to the size of saucers, "Babies are born from eggs!?!?!?"

Zoro groaned, "In a way yes, but we hatch in the stomach kinda…"

"Whoa! Cool!"

"But remember when you have sex it hurts the woman the first time,"

"It hurts them!? That means it would hurt Nami and Robin if I did that!?"

"Luffy! You only do this with someone you love!"

"But I do love my nakama!"

"No, someone you would marry, you know what marriage is I hope…"

"Yeah I do,"

Well, you do that with someone you would marry,"

"But why do it if it'll hurt them,"

"If they even let you do it, it means they trust you, and that they love you…"

"So they let you hurt them?"

"So that you can have a child,"

" Oh! Ok…! Thanks Zoro!" Luffy smiled abandoning the blushing swordsman with a huge blush on his face, "Man, explaining something to that kids like explaining rocket science to a mouse…"

Later on Zoro was teased by the crew, something about humans hatching from eggs, and girls being hurt in marriage. Needless to say Zoro vowed from that moment on that he would leave anything involving 'the talk' to whatever woman he ended up being with in the future.