Collection Title: In Any World||Title: Divine
Romance: Yubel x Juudai/Juudai x Yubel
Word Count: 5,306||Collection Count: 2/5
Genre: Romance||Rated: PG-13
Challenges: Diversity Writing Challenge, J21, one-shot collection where the oneshots are not in 100% agreement with each other (can't exist in the same canon); One Pairing Boot Camp, #2, chant; Another AU Challenge; Advent 2016, day #9, Another AU Challenge; YGOTP month, week #2, prompt: choir; Word Count Set Boot Camp, #4, 5,306
Notes: This takes place in an AU. Each fic of this collection will take place in a different AU. Also, I use 'they/them' pronouns for Yubel. There are also two deaths in here. I didn't start this fic with the intent of the deaths happening. I worked on it and the ideas came and I knew that this was what had to be done.
Summary: Yubel serves at the temple to the Gentle Darkness, singing in the choir more often than not. A thousand dreamsa promise a future Yubel can't fully undersand. But achieving this goal is far, far more than Yubel can comprehend, and possibly more than can be achieved. Death sentences are somewhat of a problem, after all.
Yubel hurried in through the side door, scrambling to get to their space in the choir before anyone noticed just how late they were. Not as late as they could have been, since the evening's music hadn't started yet, but they were indeed the last one to get settled in.
The choirmaster turned a very stern look onto Yubel, who only raised their head high and refused to back down. They were there. It wasn't too late. There wasn't anything to be ashamed of.
The old man shook his head and turned his attention to the priest at the altar, who had almost finished the first of the evening's blessings. The choir remained in readiness for when they would be called upon.
Yubel steadied themselves as best as possible, brushing at the black choir robe, taking a moment to admire the stars woven into the cloth. Yubel wasn't much for vanity of any kind, but it wasn't so much the fine material that drew their attention. It was what the robe, and their place in the temple, represented.
The Gentle Darkness itself, the force that brought all life into the universe, the great power that defended them all against the evil, destructive Light of Ruin that would see them all dead and worse than dead if given a chance.
That, Yubel loved with a passion too deep to be described. For as long as they could remember, the shadows seemed to pull themselves around Yubel, holding them in a loving embrace.
Careful, they reminded themselves. Don't want someone trying to accuse me of blasphemy. Again.
Already there had been two times when Yubel's fellow choir members insisted that they indulged themselves in sins too great to be tolerated here. Blasphemy was only one of them; others accused them of being unholy for not choosing a lover or accepting any of the other offers once attaining their eighteenth birthday.
As if they were the only person who ever made, or didn't make, that choice. But most of those at least showed some hints of interest, with the implication they just weren't ready yet. Yubel was different. Yubel had always been different, showing not a scrap of interest in anyone no matter what.
How could there be interest when there were the images that haunted Yubel's dreams? A being of unfathomable power that stood before Yubel, holding one hand out toward them. That being's features could not be clearly seen, save for their eyes: brilliant and bright gold, putting the sun itself to shame.
All legend said that on those rare occasions when the Gentle Darkness chose to take mortal form, that body bore eyes of gold.
Yubel couldn't remember how long those dreams roamed through their mind. Perhaps for as long as they'd even lived. They seemed so comfortable, as if whoever that being was, Yubel knew them despite never having seen or spoken to them.
Mentioning those dreams once led to the first accusation of blasphemy. Telling the High Priestess in detail didn't exactly clear up everything, but she advised that Yubel not speak to others of those visions.
As if I'd be ashamed of them! Yubel couldn't figure out why the essence of the Gentle Darkness would send them dreams as opposed to anyone else, but the dreams happened and there wasn't anything that could be done about it.
Movement caught their attention and all of those around Yubel began to sing. Yubel joined in only a single breath off-note, not enough for most people to even notice.
Of course, the choirmaster wasn't most people and he gave Yubel a very stern look. There would be words later. Yubel didn't doubt this.
But for now, there was just the music and the sheer joy that came from praising the divine being that brought life to them all. Yubel seldom was any happier than in moments like this. There were others in the choir who sang only because they had no other choice. It was customary for all children of noble rank to spend time in the temple, learning about the Gentle Darkness and what it asked of people, and those who had suitable voices spent at least some of their time in the choice.
Not like Yubel, who had come from the streets and the gutters and would go back there one day, at least according to all of the high ranking noble children who passed through here and looked down on them.
They weren't supposed to. This was the holy temple and within these walls, all were equal to one another, save for the confirmed clergy. Only if Yubel were Summoned into the priesthood would they be allowed to remain here past their twenty-first birthday, or the day that had been marked as their birthday.
Yubel didn't have a proper birthday, because no one knew anything about where they came from. But the day that they'd first entered the temple as an orphan and a ward of the priests became marked as their birthday.
Sweet melodies rose up into the still air, with the congregation murmuring the words along with them, most of them piously, a few just going through the motions.
Yubel didn't like the ones that didn't have faith in the great darkness. It wasn't as if this were a false faith. The Darkness folded them all within its arms and guarded them from destruction. How could anyone not serve with the greatest and gladdest of hearts?
At the moment, one of the other choir members who was the highest-ranking of the noble children, was one of those who attended only from duty and without any genuine belief in the Gentle Darkness. He taunted Yubel more than once about how soon they would be back on the streets and when they were in charge, as would surely happen in the fullness of time, he would make certain that the streets were cleansed of all those who had nowhere else to go.
There were those who would be terrified of such a threat. Yubel wasn't one of them. The idea of leaving the temple itself wasn't an appealing one, but it would be a better fate than some others that could befall them.
The service drew to an end with another rousing song by the choir, this time punctuated with polite applause from the congregation. That happened now and then, usually when the parents of those high-ranking children attended. The choirmaster dismissed them all, beckoning Yubel closer at the same time.
"Do I want to ask what made you late?" He questioned, a hint of weariness in his voice. Yubel ducked their head.
"I was just walking," they reported. "I lost track of time. A little."
It wasn't a lie. Yubel just didn't tell all of the truth. There were times when they felt called to leave the temple, to wander in the woods outside of the city, finding comfort and peace in the darkness cast by the trees. Yubel believed with every ounce of their heart that the Gentle Darkness itself called them there, though there'd never been any signs to that effect.
Nothing also came to deny that feeling, so Yubel took that as a confirmation in and of itself.
The choirmaster sighed again. It wasn't against law or custom for temple wards to do that. The most Yubel could be forbidden to do was embarrass the temple itself, such as breaking the law in a very significant fashion. And so Yubel hadn't ever done.
"Please keep better track of time in service nights," he said after a few moments. "For everyone's sake."
Yubel bowed their head, outwardly meek and accepting, inwardly knowing that this would happen again and there wasn't anything that could be done about it. And the choirmaster knew as well.
Dismissed with a wave of the choirmaster's hand, Yubel hurried toward the exit, stopping just after crossing outside. There stood Kalvan, that same high-ranking offspring that threatened over and over to have them disposed of once he succeeded to his father's title.
Both father and mother stood there now, along with a couple of his friends, standing off to he side with worshipful looks in their eyes. None of them looked toward Yubel but they could hear everything anyway.
"You're growing up so strong and fine, Kalvan," his father declared, patting him on the shoulder. "You're already making me feel old!"
"I'm terribly sorry about that, father," Kalvan oozed, false sincerity dripping from his every word. "I'd much rather that you lived forever."
"I'd not want that myself!" The older man shook his head at once, an amused tilt to his lips. "I look forward to resting in the shadows one day."
"As you will, I don't doubt at all." His wife patted him on the arm. "How could you not be judged worthy?"
Yubel tried very hard not to roll their eyes, aiming for the door at the end of the corridor that led outside. They had a feeling that Kalvan, if not his parents, had chosen that spot to talk just because it was the quickest way out and thus used by the most people after a service. Plenty of people could see them being ever so humble and modest.
There wasn't any fear that Kalvan would try to insult Yubel, behind the back or to the face, not in the temple itself. Anything that he'd said before had always been in conversations not directed at Yubel, but said where Yubel could hear him. Insulting people directly inside the temple would likely bring down the wrath of at least one priests, if not more than one. It could even lead to Kalvan being dismissed from his time of service early.
That didn't happen often, but stories ran rampant about how it happened anyway.
Yubel let a soft breath slide out as soon as possible. Sooner or later Kalvan would say something meant to dig little barbs of rage into them. Yubel just had to weather through it. Soon enough the Summoning Time would come, and that would be an end to it.
A low shiver ran all through Yubel at the thought of the Summoning Time. It had to happen; Yubel believed in it with every scrap of their being.
"You're thinking about being Summoned, aren't you?" Kalvan's voice, thick and harsh and ugly. Yubel refused to even look at him, standing now at the top of the stairs that led out of the temple and into the greater city. "Oh, you think I can't tell? Everyone knows you think you're special. That the Gentle Darkness talks/ to you and sends you dreams."
Yubel's shoulders tightened but they refused to say anything else, starting down the steps. Kalvan's hand, hardened from years of sword-training, clapped down hard on their shoulder, pulling them back. Only a quick grab to the balustrade kept Yubel from falling.
"You're nothing," he hissed in their face. "Nothing but a homeless orphan."
Yubel tilted their head to the side, a spark of mischief gleaming bright. "I also hear that water is wet and the sun is bright and the shadows dark. What else would you like to tell met that I already know?"
Kalvan snarled and started to raise one hand. Yubel pulled away, backing up another couple of steps.
"What would the Great Darkness want with someone like you? If it was going to choose anyone to speak to, it would be me!"
Yubel shifted their feet. "I don't know. I've never asked it." Truth to tell, Yubel wondered the same thing more than once. Really, what could they offer something that not only had everything but was everything?
They didn't know, but deep within, Yubel wanted to find out. If this were anyone else, not the creator of all things, Yubel might well have called what emotions surged through their heart to be love.
But to love the Gentle Darkness as one might a lover or a mate? Could that even be done? This wasn't at all like what the High Priestess spoke of when mentioning the love of the God of Shadows, Creation, and Justice. The memory of those golden eyes in Yubel's dreams sometimes made them wonder…
Kalvan started forward again. "I don't know what sickness is in your mind, but I won't let it affect anyone else. You're nothing and no one, do you understand me? You think yourself better than the rest of us? You think that your fantasies make you someone special? They don't. If the Gentle Darkness desired a consort, there are so many people who are better suited for it and none of them are you."
Yubel didn't normally care what other people thought about them. Most of what Kalvan said, they knew was true already. If there was no Calling, if the Darkness didn't desire them to join the clergy, then what else could be done? Their education would probably help to some degree, but if Kalvan stood against them, then would anyone in the city offer a job?
In point of fact, what he said now didn't really bother Yubel, not for the words directed toward them. But some of what else he said…
"Who do you think you are to decree who the Darkness can or can't, will or won't, do?" Yubel turned and started toward Kalvan, rage filling them from their head to their feet. "You're the one who is nothing! The only reason you're even in the temple is because you have to be! You can't even be Called! You're the heir, like you keep telling everyone! The heir can't be Called!"
Kalvan's hand flew fast, knocking Yubel back a step or two. That would bruise, without a doubt. But Yubel brushed it off and kept on talking.
"At least I stand a chance of being Called to serve. Maybe I won't be. But I could be! And you never will be!"
Kalvan surged toward, face twisted in rage, and seized Yubel by the shoulders. "You're the one who is nothing! Even if you were Called, it would never be allowed! I won't allow it!"
Yubel yanked and struggled, but Kalvan had years of training as a warrior, and they didn't. "It's not for you to decide!"
Yubel twisted, too angry – and not wanting to admit it but scared as well – to notice anyone else around. They stood at the top of the steps still, and no one who'd fallen from there had ever survived it. Most people died instantly when they struck the bottom.
I won't let him kill me! I won't! I'm not going to lose my chance!
Many of those who remained in the temple's care learned arts of self-defense. Yubel hadn't paid full attention in class, just enough so that they could pass the tests. Now, they recalled a move, and their body moved as they had been taught.
Yubel's legs struck against Kalvan's, hitting for the knees. In most situations, this would've been a reasonably good move, depending on how much Kalvan could defend himself while still holding onto Yubel's shoulders and on where they were.
Kalvan's hands came off of their shoulders and he started to stumble back, glaring up at Yubel with hate in his eyes. Yubel didn't even think at all but leaped forward, shoving with all of their strength.
Kalvan stood at the top of the stairs. For a moment his eyes grew wide and terrified and Yubel couldn't help but enjoy that look.
At least, until Kalvan fell backwards and a sickening crack echoed as loud as thunder and clear as lightning, and he kept on falling…
Yubel didn't move, mind blank, only staring down at the mess below. A sharp, furious voice broke through to them.
"You killed my son! You killed my son!"
Yubel lifted their head to see Kalvan's father storming over, his wife a step or two behind him, with a contingent of soldiers hot on their own heels.
"To the dungeons!" The duke snapped. "There will be judgment"
Yubel could see the High Priestess and the choirmaster standing there now as well, both of them as in shock as they themselves felt. Neither said a word, however, as the soldiers clapped chains on their wrists and began to wrangle them away.
None of this seemed real. Reality ended the moment that Kalvan fell away and there wasn't anything that Yubel could do to stop it. Yubel couldn't even be certain if they would have, if the opportunity presented itself.
Reality only seemed to assert itself when Yubel looked around to see the walls of the prison cell all around, and heard the steel door slam shut.
There wasn't much room in the cell, and only a slim handspan of space for air to enter and leave. A small ledge provided a place to sit, and nothing more. Yubel settled down there, staring at their hands, trying to figure out what had happened.
Kalvan started yelling. He grabbed me and yelled some more. I pushed him. He fell. He...died.
In all truth, Yubel had dreamed once than once about Kalvan's death. But in those dreams, everyone showered them with praise for having slain an evil lord – for surely that was what Kalvan would prove to be. All of those had been only dreams, daydreams and fancies to pass the time or when Kalvan pushed their temper a little too hard. Never once had Yubel thought of actually doing the deed in all seriousness.
Only now it had happened and Yubel didn't know what to do next, or if there was anything at all that could be done.
Outside, it grew dark, and Yubel stopped paying attention, falling into a vague sort of sleep. It wasn't real sleep, not the kind that would prove refreshing, but when Yubel opened their eyes once again, a tiny stream of sunlight crossed the far wall, and booted footsteps approached.
The guards.
Food wasn't considered an option, Yubel discovered as the guards opened the door and one of them dragged them up to their feet. There wasn't anything that resembled a kind or even sympathetic look on the guards' faces as they pulled Yubel along the corridors.
Yubel hadn't ever been in the duke's palace before so had no idea of what to expect when shoved into a room, arms shackled behind them, still confused and uncertain of what could happen from there.
The duke and duchess sat in highly decorated chairs, with the High Priestess to one side. His and Her Grace stared in contempt and rage, both of them robed in mourning scarlet with pale touches of silver. The High Priestess also wore the colors of mourning, but her face alone showed anything that resembled kindness.
"We gather here today to pass judgment on the one responsible for the death of our son," the Duke proclaimed. His gaze turned to the High Priestess. "By law, as blood kin to the victim, we are not allowed to be anything other than spectators here. Nor can you, Your Graciousness, do anything more, as the accused is a ward of your temple."
The High Priestess bowed her head. "Such is the law, Your Grace." The Duke raised one hand and a dark robed figure stepped up. Yubel couldn't see a face, not with the deep cowl of the robe, nor did they recognize the voice when they spoke.
"As a senior servant of the Gentle Darkness, I will conduct this trial, Your Grace."
Yubel could not have remembered more of what happened if they tried. Questions were asked: had ever they sought to slay Kalvan and taken this chance to do so? Why had they fought Kalvan instead of giving way to him, as was right and proper given their respective stations?
Yubel found a few words to answer, admitting that they'd never liked Kalvan but there hadn't been any intent to kill there, only o get him to leave Yubel alone. As for giving way, Yubel saw no reason to agree with Kalvan's words, when those words meant that he thought he could decree who and what the Gentle Darkness could choose for any purpose at all.
"You think that you speak to the Great Darkness?"
Yubel could not help but raise up their head and stare forth resolutely, regardless of the looks that came back.
"No. I know that I dream about a being with golden eyes." And as all knew, eyes of gold were the mark of the Gentle Darkness.
Silence reigned for a few moments before the Duke spoke at last. "I am not trained in the ways of our divine lord, but I believe this counts as blasphemy."
He turned toward the High Priestess, who bent her head. "By all the laws, those who proclaim a connection not theirs blaspheme."
"But you can't prove that it's not mine!" Yubel protested. "How do you know what I dream or don't dream?"
The Duchess glared down at Yubel, livid hatred in her eyes. "It doesn't matter. You committed the crime of murder against my darling son and for that you will pay!"
Full silence fell throughout the room. Not even the slightest hint of a whisper broke it, until the priest who had questioned Yubel finally did.
"Because of all evidence, because of prior cause to desire his death, and because of your actions that were observed by others, you, Yubel, former ward of the Grand Temple of the Gentle Darkness, are sentenced to death. May all know that justice has been done this day."
And with those words to seal their fate, Yubel was once more dragged onto their feet and out of the trial area. Yubel wanted to scream that this was wrong, that this wasn't justice, that the Gentle Darkness itself would forbid it, but no words found their way out of Yubel's throat.
The room they were brought to this time wasn't the waiting cell from earlier. Here those captives who'd been sentenced to death and yet not had the sentence carried out waited. There were only three cells in the corridor and only Yubel in any of them.
Yubel sank down to the floor and stared at it, some tiny part of their mind hoping to look up and find themselves back in their quarters in the temple. This couldn't be. This just could not be.
Slowly they closed their eyes and drifted away again. Instead of the vague not-sleep from before, now Yubel could see that golden-eyed figure before them once again.
"Why are you letting this happen? This isn't justice! I didn't mean to kill him!" Yubel found the words to rant and rave, but the figure only shook his head then held out his hand. "What do you want?"
Gentle Darkness or not, Yubel hadn't heard more than a handful of words from them in all the dreams they'd had. This wasn't any different. But Yubel also could feel a sort of emotion here: anticipation. What if this isn't the Darkness? What if it's the Light? What if it wants me dead?
Yubel had no idea of why that would be, but wouldn't the Gentle Darkness insist on true justice? A horrid fine, a term of service to the duke's family, even being thrown out of the temple and forced to live on the streets, anything but death!
Yubel wanted to believe in the gentle embrace of the Great Darkness, a time of rest before finding a new form to be born into, but when death stared one in the face, anything other than fear was difficult to accept.
I am always with you. When the gold-eyed one spoke, it was like that. A whisper of words, a ripple of shadows, nothing more. Yubel drew an unsteady breath.
"How can you be with me if I'm going to be killed?"
Where do you think you go when you die? You come to me. We will be together, Yubel. In this life and many more to come. I want nothing more. Do you?
Yubel swallowed again, heart skipping beats. In all truth, there wasn't anything else that they could imagine wanting more than to be with the Darkness for all time.
"No. No, I don't." While those other fates would have extended Yubel's life, the idea of being with the Darkness for all time held an allure that could not be denied. Not to the point of going there personally, but now that the unchangeable path laid itself out in front of them…
Be strong. You are indeed my chosen one. That will never change.
For a few moments, Yubel thought that the other smiled. It gave that impression, anyway.
I would take you now but your sacrifice would not be honored in the way that I intend it. But soon, we will indeed be together for all time.
Yubel bit their lip, words quivering there now. "I'm sorry. I should've said something more… about you...to them."
Fear not. Not now and not ever. Great wings of shadow enfolded themselves around Yubel, bringing comfort and peace. And trust in me.
Yubel smiled for the first time since leaving the temple that day. "Always."
Part of the rule of justice was that those whose guilt had been declared worthy of death didn't have to wait very long for the sentence to be carried out. Only a day and a night passed before the guards once again pulled Yubel out.
This time Yubel did not wait to be dragged. This time, feeling the Darkness's wings still around them, Yubel strode forward, not caring for the chains that bound around them. When they stepped into the sunlight of high noon, it should have been enough to blind anyone. It didn't. The Darkness's shadows kept them safe from that.
People packed the high square of the city, with just enough room enforced by the guards so that Yubel made it to the top of the dais where the deed would be done in safety.
Every eye remained on Yubel. Yubel turned when the sound of music flowed through the air, to see the choir and choirmaster there, performing the song of the last rites. Yubel bowed their head respectfully before being twisted around to face the executioner.
"For the crime of murder of the duke's son, Yubel, once ward of the temple, of no clan or people, will be executed at this hour!" The words were spoken by another of those black clad clerics, who wore a hood pulled so far up that Yubel couldn't see their face. The High Priestess stood not that far away and strode over as soon as the other fell silent.
Carefully she rested her hands upon Yubel's shoulders, gazing down into their eyes without fear, but much sorrow.
"I wish that I could do more for you, Yubel. But the law is the law, and we all saw what happened."
Yubel smiled. There wasn't a trace of sorrow in it. They reached up to touch the High Priestess's hands with their own, even with the chains interfering.
"It's not your fault. I'll be all right." Confidence filled that smile. "My love is with me."
The High Priestess fidgeted, then smiled as well. It wasn't one that tasted of belief in Yubel's words, though. "Send him my greetings, then?"
"I will." Yubel could feel the approach of the Darkness, though no one else seemed to notice anything. The High Priestess pressed a kiss onto Yubel's forehead.
"Bathe in the sweet shadows and arise reborn, cleansed of all wrongdoing and mistakes, ready to face life once again, held in the arms of the Just and Righteous Darkness," the Priestess intoned in the ritual farewell to one facing death.
Then she stepped back and the executioner stepped forward. Their face could not be seen either, and they carried no weapons. Justice did not mean torture, no matter the crime.
"Let it be done." The Duke's voice rang outward.
The executioner murmured something that no one could hear, and their hands glowed. Then they reached out toward Yubel, and Yubel remained tall and firm and unchanged, because behind the executioner there arose an even more imposing figure, one hand held out to Yubel.
Yubel didn't hesitate, but reached for that hand. "I am yours, forever," they murmured, and the hand that Yubel never touched in the waking mortal world now remained strong in their own, lifting upward.
Yubel didn't look behind. They knew what they would see. The mourning song of the choir said everything, as did the words of the High Priestess:
"We will take the body to the temple and prepare it for burial. Regardless of events, Yubel was one of ours, and we will give honor where we see fit."
If anyone had an objection, Yubel couldn't hear it. Instead, the Gentle Darkness tugged Yubel closer and the world around them faded, replaced a heartbeat later by a place that Yubel hadn't ever seen before.
Now they stood hand in hand with someone who looked much like any other human, save for those glowing golden eyes, turned toward them with so much love shining in them.
"Welcome home, Yubel," he declared, pulling his arms around Yubel. "I've missed you so much."
Yubel's arms curved around the Gentle Darkness's form, leaning in closer to breathe in that scent that was and wasn't that of life itself. Without the burden of a body to keep the truth away, Yubel remembered: remembered being sent to the world to live a life without him, not because of a punishment but because experience in life was needed by both the Herald of the Gentle Darkness and his consort, life with and without the other. Perhaps one day it would not be so, but for now, both of them had much to learn.
For now Yubel knew that they were home and that alone mattered.
"I missed you, too," Yubel murmured. They knew at once what to call the being there, the name chosen in every incarnation, in whatever local tongue provided such a name: Juudai. Their Juudai, their one love.
Then Yubel tapped him on the side of the head, frowning. "Why did you let that happen?"
Juudai looked back at Yubel, features now visible, though the eyes remained as golden as ever. Here in this place, he always had the eyes that marked his power, instead of taking on the brown eyes of mortality.
"Would you believe… I really missed you?" He rubbed the back of his head and Yubel shook their own without hesitation.
"You know better than that. Or you should." But regardless, Yubel couldn't remain angry with him for long and leaned in closer for another hug, their lips touching as they did.
"Next time we'll go together," Juudai promised. "But I think we should both stay here for a while. Get used to being together again."
Yubel suspected other reasons for that – such as the aforementioned 'I missed you' - but wasn't going to complain about it. Truth to tell, now that Yubel knew who they both were and the reasons for it all, they knew that they'd missed Juudai as well. If they'd known beforehand that this would lead to a sweet reunion, then they wouldn't have lifted a finger in protest.
They did wonder what would become of the kingdom, but that could be found out just by watching them in the days and months to come.
"Yubel?" Juudai rested one hand on their arm and gazed into their eyes. "I could hear every time you sang. I don't know if I've ever heard you sing before."
He didn't have to say anything else. Both of them made themselves comfortable, and Yubel lifted up their voice in praise to the Gentle Darkness, their forever beloved Juudai.
The End
Note: Thank you for reading and I hope that you enjoyed the story. Please let me know what you thought of it if at all possible.