"Of course you may go out Kamora." Aro said, in response to her request to go outside.
Ever since her attempted suicide she had basically been kept under lock and key, with barely a moment of alone time. Only just recently had her father allowed her to go out of doors and she was intent on taking advantage of the privilege.
She gave Aro a little nod and turned on her heel beginning to move towards the door when she was stopped by her father's voice. "Felix will be your escort this evening." She closed her eyes and exhaled heavily but made no other physical notions of her disdain.
Of course being under twenty four hour protection was for her own good and safety, but she was quickly growing tired of the routine.
The way Aro saw it, she was constantly a threat to herself and couldn't be trusted to be left alone for even a mere moment.
To be fair she probably did deserve what she was getting. She had completely ruined Aro's trust in her when she tried to end her own life and was beginning to doubt she would ever be able to earn it back. Not that she cared anyway; she didn't care about, or for, anything anymore.
"Yes sir." She muttered, pausing only long enough for Felix to appear by her side before she began walking again.
"Have her back by nightfall Felix." Aro called after them.
"Of course Master."
Felix watched with amusement as Kali tried desperately to ignore his presence as they walked toward the meadow; which was only a handful of miles away from the castle. He knew she wasn't happy about being babysat, but he couldn't say that he disagreed with Aro's decision. She had given everyone quite the scare with her attempt at suicide, but luckily Felix had been able to revive her after her 'tumble' off the cliff.
Just to have some fun, Felix quickened his pace so he was no longer following behind her, but was at her side, walking in step with the half breed as they neared the high grassed field.
He bit back a smile at the scowl that appeared on her face and increased his speed when she did, trying to get away from him he assumed.
They continued this until they were more than half way across the large open area when Kali stopped suddenly, dropping to sit on the ground.
"If you're attempting to 'cheer me up' I ask that you don't. You have already done me more than enough good deeds." She said spitting out the last two words as if they were poisonous.
Felix frowned lightly at this. He had suspected she wasn't entirely grateful for him saving her life but having his suspicions confirmed was an entirely different matter. Was she really so miserable that she honestly would rather be dead? He felt a ripple of pain move through him at the thought.
After it was established that Kali would indeed survive her jump off the cliff Aro didn't hesitate to read her thoughts, wanting desperately to know what would drive his eldest daughter to do such a thing. Nothing of particular interest stood out to him, she had done miraculously well at censoring her thoughts, except that she was lonely. And that it wasn't the, "I wish I had more friends", type of loneliness. It was as if she were missing someone else entirely.
Felix had an idea of what that might be, but he thought it best to keep his thoughts to himself.
"Kamora, please, don't speak that way." He said, his brow furrowing with concern. "If your Father knew you were still feeling-" "But he doesn't now does he?" Kali cut in, snapping her head up to look at him, her silver eyes blazing. "And what he doesn't know won't hurt him." She added, dropping her head back down so she was looking at her lap.
Felix sighed quietly and closed his eyes for a second, debating silently to himself for a moment before reaching a decision. He opened his eyes and shifted so he was in front of her and then kneeled down, where he hesitated for the briefest moment before taking her warm hands in his cool ones.
Immediately her head lifted up, surprise and slight suspicion in her eyes as they shifted from his own red ones to their intertwined hands.
"Kamora, I know that you're hurting." He said in a tone so quiet she almost couldn't hear him above the breeze. "And I know that you feel like you're missing something." Her eyes narrowed at this, just what was he getting at exactly? "And I think I know what that may be…Kamora? Would you allow me to try and help you? To let me try and fill that empty space?"
The silence that followed was unbearable.
Kali's mouth just about dropped open at this.
What was he saying? Surely he didn't mean what she thought he meant? That he was offering himself to her?
"You don't mean that." She somehow managed to say after much struggling. "If you meant it that means you would have to care for me. That means you would have to like me. That means you would have to be in love with me even." She rambled on trying to make sense of the words he had just spoken, as she pulled her hands from his and stood, beginning to pace back and fourth before the large vampire. "You don't love me like that Felix. You just can't. No one can love me that way. I-It's impossible. This is impossible! There is no way this could ever work even if it did happen! Do you not realize what Aro would do to me? To you? To us?"
Kali could already feel tears beginning to form in her eyes and was beginning to launch into another monologue when Felix cut her off, his large hands clamping onto her upper arms forcing her to stop her frantic pacing as well.
"Kamora I don't care. Do you hear me? I don't care what Aro might do. And do you know why? I don't care because he can't do anything to us unless he knows about us. And he won't know unless we tell him, do you understand?" He said, searching her eyes with his. "I…I love you. I'm in love with you, and I'm willing to take the risks, I'm willing to keep Aro in the dark as long as it means I can be with you. Besides…what he doesn't know won't hurt him." Felix said, finishing off with the phrase Kali herself had used earlier.
Kali's tears were falling freely now, but she didn't care. She had more important things to worry about than how she looked at the moment.
"I don't want to be alone anymore." She whispered finally, all her anger and defensives seeming to melt away leaving her weak and vulnerable.
"You don't have to." Felix agreed eagerly.
"I don't want to feel like this anymore." She said her voice cracking uncontrollably.
"I know Kamora, I know." He murmured pulling her trembling body against his.
They stood like this for what could have been hours or days, they didn't know, or care. The cool chill of Felix's arms and body around her shaking form was somehow comforting and slowly but surely the trembling that racked her body began to fade until it stopped all together. This in it's self was a miracle, she was never able to recover from an "episode" that quickly, until now that is.
"You really think you can help me?" She asked softly, leaning back so she could see his face in the light of the setting sun.
"I know I can." Felix answered, with such determination Kali couldn't help but believe him.
Kali didn't bother to reply with words, responding to his statement by lifting herself up onto her tiptoes so they were level, her arms wrapping lightly around his neck.
Felix knew immediately what she was doing and met her halfway by leaning down until their lips met.
Kali wasn't sure, but as they stood there in the soft glow of the disappearing sun, she thought, even if it was just for a moment, she felt hope.