Raven almost had him. Almost. But not quite. She hated herself for letting him slip away. Why did she do it? Was she eager for self-torture? I mean sure, she eventually got another guy who made her feel a little bit better.
But it wasn't the same. It could never be the same.
Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed…
Raven knew he had been a little interested in Starfire for a while, but he had never acted on it. Until that fateful day a month ago.
Whenever she looked at Robin now, he gave her a look. She couldn't quite decipher what it meant. It looked a little like an 'I-told-you-so' mixed with pity. There was something else there, though. From what she picked up, though, that look told her to move on. So she did. She moved on with the help of Beast Boy.
Now, she did love Beast Boy. But only as a brother. He loved her more than that, of course, so she decided that if she could not be happy, Beast Boy could be. So she tried to love him, and he loved her.
But it wasn't the same. It could never be the same love Raven had felt- well, still feels for Robin.
You said move on, where do I go?
I guess second best is all I will know…
Raven was an idiot. Or so she thought. She had finally healed after the whole thing with Melchior. They had defeated Trigon. So Raven decided to let herself feel. She learned how to be happy… to be sad… to be in love…
And that was a mistake. Sure, she could finally really feel love. Raven had already known even before she let herself feel that there was something she felt for Robin. So she let herself fall in love even deeper with him. What made her fall? Robin was the only one of the group that seemed to care, to understand. He was so sweet to her, even if he didn't realize it.
But if she can really love, that means she can really feel pain.
Raven tried to be the best girlfriend possible to Beast Boy. She wanted to love him so much. Beast Boy tried to talk to her, tried to understand her like Robin had.
But it wasn't the same. He could never have the same understanding of her that Robin had.
'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes…
Raven began to understand Robin. He revealed very little of his past, but even so, she began to see what kind of person he was. But just when she thought she had figured him out, she would find out something else that shifted her whole view. And she loved it.
Beast Boy was simple. Raven still loved him like a brother, but she had always wished for something more… complex. Something that she would need to figure out or piece together. Sure, she would sometimes listen to a secret about him…
But it wasn't the same. Raven could never have the adventure of figuring out Beast Boy like she did with Robin.
You're like an Indian Summer in the middle of winter
Like a hard candy with a surprise center
How do I get better once I've had the best?
You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test…
Raven kissed Beast Boy. Well, she kind of has to. What kind of girlfriend doesn't kiss her boyfriend?
So she does. And she feels guilty.
Every time they make out, she has to picture that it's Robin, not Beast Boy. Even so…
It wasn't the same. It could never be the same. Though Robin has never kissed Raven, she is sure it would feel way different than with Beast Boy.
He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth, oh!
(Taste your mouth)
He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself…
Raven hated her life. But she would never consider suicide. Not if he was still alive and kicking.
And she feels so guilty about the whole Beast Boy situation. She can't break up with him. If she does, he will be heartbroken, and she will be so lonely. Raven is already lonely. Beast Boy helped fill the empty void that was her heart, blackened by the demoness in her…
But it wasn't the same. He could never fill the void like Robin could.
'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into…
One moment. That's all it took. One moment to lose him. Maybe not forever, but that's what it seems like to Raven. They seem like the perfect couple.
Let's go back to that day a month ago…
Robin and Raven had been talking on the roof. They always went there to talk about important things.
"So…" Robin paused, wondering how to continue. How can he tell her how he feels without it being too much?
Then the thought hit him.
"What do you think about me asking Star out?" He watched her face carefully. For a split second, her face morphed into something unreadable. But in a second it was gone.
"I think that's great…" Her voice cracked a little.
Robin frowned. Not the reaction he was hoping for. Now he'd actually have to do it… Well, one little date with Starfire couldn't hurt.
Robin stood up and went downstairs to the living room with Raven on his heels.
"Starfire?" Robin called out softly as they entered. Starfire turned to them, smiling. She had liked Robin for a while now, and she loved it when he said her name.
"Yes, friend Robin?"
Freeze. This was the moment that Raven made her mistake. This is where she could have stopped him. But she didn't. Her mind was screaming at her to do something, but she did nothing.
You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know…
Raven's big mistake was not shaking her head when Robin glanced back at her. He had given her an opportunity to do something, but she hadn't.
Maybe if she had done something, he would not have asked Starfire out.
Maybe if she had done something, the one little date would not have turned into a hundred dates.
Maybe if she had done something, she would not have to have led Beast Boy on.
But she just stood there.
And did nothing.
Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...
Stay...
Raven sighed as she pondered all of this. She should have done something. But she didn't. And now she was miserable.
Earlier that day she had broken up with Beast Boy. It wasn't really that hard on her. She had no idea how he was taking it because she had just slipped a note under his door. Harsh, yes, but that little note held the truth, and it was not something she was ready to say out loud.
She put her book down and went to go make herself a cup of tea.
Just as she was about to reach into the cupboard, the doors of the living room opened and Robin came through the doors. He skidded to a halt when he saw her. His expression was mixed with joy and sadness. Raven wondered why when she turned around to face him.
"Um, hey…" Robin said lamely, trying to not make the conversation awkward.
"Hi," Raven returned the greeting.
They just stood there and stared at each other for a while, occasionally glancing away awkwardly. Well Robin had failed.
"So… I broke up with Starfire today," Robin tried again. Raven glanced up at him in shock, trying to calm her now racing heartbeat.
"Why? I thought you really liked her…"
"I'm kind of interested in someone else,"
Raven's hopes plummeted at those words. She kept her expression the same. Or tried to. Robin caught the hurt on her face this time around.
"Oh. That's cool, I guess,"
"Not really. She is kind of taken,"
Raven's eyebrows scrunched together. Who could it possibly be? Maybe someone from Titans East… or…
"So what's up with you?" Robin's voice interrupted her thoughts. Raven grimaced.
"Well, I broke up with Beast Boy today,"
Robin started grinning like an idiot. Raven looked at him like he was crazy. Why the hell did he look so happy? Did he-… was Beast Boy the she?
"Why are you so happy?"
"Because the girl I'm interested in is actually single."
Raven thought about that for a minute. Her heart sped up again as she analyzed his words again.
"Wait… does that mean yo-" Her words were lost due to Robin's lips on hers. Raven gasped while Robin grinned against her lips. He had wanted to do this for a long time, and it felt so right! His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her even closer while she wrapped her arms around his neck.
They parted only when breathing was absolutely necessary. Robin and Raven stared at each other with matching grins on their faces. Both of them were elated. They loved each other and they were finally able to show it. Robin pulled Raven in for another kiss. They kissed like they always have done so. Like it was their first kiss. Like it was their last.
They kissed like they truly loved each other.
And it would be the same from now on. It always will be.
Teehee. A little random... But whatever. I got inspired! And at the weirdest time, too. I was cleaning the toilet when I thought of this! Hope this isn't too much like poop. :P
Was Raven a little too dramatic at the beginning? I'd imagine that after letting herself feel for only a little bit she'd think about things a little dramatically at first... I've been watching a few episodes, so maybe they are a little more in character? Tell me what you think! I know in my other TT story everyone is way OOC, but that one is a little AUish anyways...
Oh and I used the song 'Thinking of You' by Katy Perry. And I don't own Teen Titans... Also can someone explain why most authors put a disclaimer? I mean I think the domain name FanFiction is pretty much a disclaimer in itself...
Lol sorry. Please excuse my rambling!
Please review! XD