TITLE: Lost in My World

AUTHOR: Jersey13

DISCLAIMERS: Stargate: Atlantis is owned by MGM and the Sci-fi channel. I do not own the characters or the Stargate universe. I wrote this entirely for my own enjoyment and not for profit.

RATING: PG-13 / T (for: mildly suggestive wording, extreme and intense Carson-whumping planned for later chapters, and possibly some light Beckett/OC ship to appear in later chapters as well)

Thanks to my beta, Miyth, for telling me that this is some of the best work I've ever written. :)

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On my world, there are very few people who know their father. From what I have come to know of your people, you who are from Earth, a tightly-knit familial structure with both male and female presence seems to be somewhat commonplace. But on the world of Lae'yere, my home, the lack of any real male presence in the family is a fact of life. No respectable woman grows up with a father, or any of her brothers, nor knows who they are or even if they exist. It's simply unheard of.

Men have never held a place in the homes of women on my world, except of course as willing and unconditional bed-mates. Their minds are oft considered to be much too disorganized and inflexible to be worthy of the respect due to one considered an equal, much less to be given any leadership position or such responsibilities that require more than the most menial labor. They are taught about their place and role from a very early age, and as a woman borne of a common but noble house, I have seen many men borne from many different types and classes and homes.

One day, I found myself designing a new 'contraption' to make it easier to bring up water from the well in the center of town, where the water was clean and still remained free for everyone to drink. My mother always called my inventions 'contraptions'. As the fine and respectable women that she and my three sisters were widely considered, I was the black sheep of the family. Science and medicines were my most eager of hobbies, aside from the trade negotiation and diplomacy responsibilities I had been given by the queen. But science and medicine were considered 'dirty' endeavors, work of the lower- and middle-class members of the city. I did not often have time for those things; Her Highness liked to keep me quite busy.

But being the doer of many things, though the master of none, I was widely considered a very objective and logical person, and was often sought after to fairly settle disputes in the queen's stead. Our great queen had been more than happy to relieve herself of any responsibilities that she could delegate to someone else, and so I was appointed a position of some repute in her council. My mother was very proud of me that day.

And so when I was told a group of strangers had passed through the Well of the Ancients to visit and trade with our world, I was eager to meet them and establish a dialogue. Little did I know, however, that the encounter was about to change my life forever. It was when he came to visit our world that my life changed.

I rushed away excitedly from my workbench, wiping my hands on a clean cloth before I made my way out the door and across the wide cobblestone streets of the city toward the main gate. Joni-drawn wagons and carts (you might find the 'Joni' similar to beasts of burden commonly known on your world as 'horses') puttered along between rows of countless numbers of common-folk buying their wares and groceries.

Pushing my way through the crowd, they paid me no mind as I strode forward and indicated for those most trusted of men and women guarding our city to open the gate. The military is one of the few professions on our world where men are capable of attaining some level of respect equal to that of a woman, but they are never given posts of responsibility. Such a thing would be considered absurd.

I plastered a grin on my face and enthusiastically rubbed my hands together as I looked upon the faces of the strangers before me. They gave me thoughtful looks, but did not seem hostile. Their command structure was obviously military in nature; very rigid and disciplined, if their similar-looking uniforms and the complex mechanical weapons they carried were of any indication. The exception was the one with the appearance of a leather-bound brute in their midst, of course.

I am ashamed to admit that I had misjudged him at first, just as I had misjudged all of them, but him the most of all. At that moment, though, I took him for the plain and simple brute that he appeared to be and tried to simply ignore him for the sake of the negotiations. I looked first to the female of the group of four, who by my instinct seemed like a most capable leader.

"Welcome to Lae'yere!" I exclaimed with excitement. "We are most grateful for contact with new people. Since the Wraith woke and began to cull their feeding grounds, our relations with settlements on other worlds has been somewhat strained lately."

"My name is Colonel John Sheppard," the tall black-haired man spoke first, and then with his free hand indicated each of his comrades in turn. "This is Teyla Emmagan, Ronon Dex, and Dr. Rodney McKay."

He seemed somewhat confused by my look of puzzlement. I ignored his presumptuousness and spoke again to the woman. "Teyla Emmagan! I've heard of your name before. I had hoped to hear word of the fate of the great Athosian people. We were quite concerned for you when we found the villages on your homeworld in ruins several years ago."

"Yes," Teyla confirmed for me, seeming a bit uncomfortable. She obviously didn't remember Lae'yere. "Colonel Sheppard's people were kind enough to help us locate a new world to re-settle on. We are doing quite well for ourselves again now, thanks to them."

"Very good," I commended politely. "I would welcome the opportunity to reestablish trade with your people."

The man farthest to the right spoke next. He had slightly thinning hair and a casual smirk on his face. I found him to be exotically attractive, though he seemed eager to go about his business for some reason. "Well, now that the formal pleasantries have been dealt with, would you mind if we have a look around the city?"

I stared at him incredulously, surprised by his outgoing attitude, and was not overly offended by the affront. But the tall and imposing guard captain standing at her post behind me was not as understanding, nor as diplomatic. She glared at him coldly, and I caught the movement of her hand toward the short sword on her belt out of the corner of my eye. I raised my hand authoritatively before her, and she seemed to understand that I was attempting to allow the strangers some leniency. Settling back into her post, she continued to glare at the strangers with disgust and distrust.

They were obviously surprised at the reaction his words entailed. I knew perfectly well that their customs and protocols could be different, but they obviously had technology and weapons that were far beyond that which our own world had thus far researched. I was sure that the queen wouldn't mind if I capitulated to their rude tendencies in order to secure a trade agreement.

"Please try to understand," I attempted to explain the guard's behavior to them, since they didn't seem to know why she reacted the way she did. "There are very strict rules of conduct on this world. Negotiations and trade agreements are always made between women, and men do not involve themselves in such matters."

For men, the three male strangers were atypically considerate, and for the moment seemed willing to accept this as simply a matter of abiding by protocol. Teyla was more than capable of completing the negotiations on their behalf, and so they apparently decided to just leave it at that. I nodded in satisfaction at the unspoken agreement and motioned with my hands for them to follow.

"Please, follow me," I urged lightly, trying to bring some cheerfulness back into my voice. A couple of guards accompanied us, following the strangers at a respectful distance.

Leading them through the various streets and alleyways towards the center of commerce at the heart of the city, I casually named off the stores, marketplaces, and homes that were familiar to me. The strangers followed with mild interest, but the brute seemed to be overly distrusting of me, something I carefully noted for further observation. Teyla was doing her best to seem polite and thoughtful, and as I watched them carefully from my peripheral vision, I noticed the attractive one nudge her covertly. He obviously wanted her to try to glean more information from me.

"I was wondering," she asked coolly. "How does your city manage to repel attacks from the Wraith so effectively? Your world seems virtually untouched by the culling."

Taking a moment to ponder exactly how much I should tell them, I decided it was probably best to pique their interest in the hopes of an expanding trade agreement with them. I had no idea what they had to offer, and this seemed the best way to approach the subject. "The queen of our fair city has the means to set the sky alight with fire. She won't tell me how it works, but it always repels the Wraith during an attack. It has been many generations since they have culled our city."

This new information certainly piqued the interest of the attractive one. McKay was his name. If I was going to convince them that a trade agreement was in all our best interests, I thought I had better make an effort to learn all their names, even the names of the men. They seemed important to Teyla, and she certainly respected them. As strange as it had seemed at the time, I knew that I would just have to get to know them better.

Almost at the center of the city, there was one more street to walk before we would reach the palace. It was the only street that led directly to the palace from this section of the city, though. I hated that street. I hated it with a passion. The city hospital was located on that street.

It appalled me how horribly some of the factions and lower-class people of the city were treated, whereas the higher-class and more elite members of our society were treated much more carefully and with finesse. The queen herself had her very own hospital that she shared with no one, and it was obviously the secret of her longevity that she also shared with no one. Rumor had it that the queen, who appeared in council now and then and seemed no older than her late twenties or early thirties, was actually well over fifty years old. It just didn't seem fair not to share the secrets of her good health.

But I was just a humble servant to the city. It was not my place to question her, but to serve her and the city to the best of my ability. And right at that moment, it was my intention to serve by rushing the newcomers past that disparaging hospital as quickly as possible to present them and their interests to the queen.

I flinched as I saw the strangers peering curiously into the wide-open doors of the hospital. The smell of primitive disinfectants and smoke from the fires wafted from its dark depths. A scream echoed eerily into the streets, and I scrutinized them carefully as the attrac— McKay jumped back, startled. I sighed with frustration and continued past without stopping, the guards at the back prodding the newcomers to keep up.

The palace was just across the central square from there. Upon approaching the palace gate, the guards suddenly stepped rudely in front of us, blocking the way.

"What is the meaning of this?" I asked in confusion.

"Sorry, Ma'am," the woman to the left answered. "But the queen isn't accepting any visitors today."

I was shocked, almost beyond words. "You do realize that these are the off-world visitors, do you not? I have urgent business with the queen."

But she was insistent. "Then make an appointment with the Administrator of Royal Affairs for tomorrow."

I was incensed. How dare the queen treat guests, of all people, in such a manner? I steeled myself against my rising temper, desiring not to offend the strangers.

I turned away to let the two guards go back to their posts and stood humbly before my new friends with an apologetic demeanor. "I'm very sorry about that. It seems we'll have to go back. I can reserve a room for you at the inn, if you like, so that you may rest and prepare to see the queen's council first thing tomorrow."

"It's still early," Teyla said politely. "Perhaps we can take you up on your offer of accommodations later this evening."

"As you wish," I said with a grateful smile.

Sheppard was still frustrated, though. "At the risk of sounding impolite, perhaps I can offer you and your people the services of a doctor from our world as an act of good will and a demonstration of our willingness to form a trade agreement."

"Doctor," I formed the syllables of the word curiously, urging the strangers into a more secluded area of the square rather than risk another affront to the local guards. "What is a doctor?"

"A healer," he tried to explain. "A doctor is a person who helps the sick and injured."

"Or someone who holds a doctorate in some field of concentration from a university," McKay chimed in needlessly.

Sheppard shot him an annoyed glare.

I found the diatribe between them almost amusing as I nodded with understanding. I was beginning to like these people.

"I would be honored to accept the assistance of your doctor," I said appreciatively.

Sheppard gave me a warm smile, to which I heartily returned the gesture, and then I led them back through the crowded streets to the Well of the Ancients. The act of dialing the address was painless, and I was determined to wait patiently for their return. But Sheppard seemed confident that they would not be going anywhere.

I watched in stunned amazement as he touched a black box strapped to his vest and spoke into a wire, and watched with even more amazement as I heard a faint response in return. They were speaking to their people through this device! I must know more!

He caught my look of excitement at the revelation, and though I attempted to hide it, it was too late. He simply smiled understandably and continued calling for this doctor friend through the device. I waited patiently, half expecting another miracle to present itself. What I saw next wasn't quite the miracle that I was expecting.

It was that moment, vividly burned into my memory, that I met him. From the moment he stepped through the Well of the Ancients and I caught a glimpse of his kind face, I was enamored. His eyes were the palest shade of blue that I had ever seen, and my heart fluttered in my chest when I saw his good-natured smile. And when he finally spoke and introduced himself to me, his voice rang with the calling of someone who was born in a far-off land.