Astronomical Events

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice.

Fire and Ice by Robert Frost

Olivia doesn't know all that much about astronomy, but she knows enough to realize that everything ends. Even stars, planets and galaxies that last for millions and billions and trillions of years end at some point.

She thinks this idea applies quite well to her relationship with Elliot. Her partnership. She knows it'll come to an end but she usually tries not to think about it. Tonight is different. So different.

It's been a long day and a long week and a long, long lifetime. Sometimes it feels like it will drag on forever with no reprieve. It seems as though her break with Elliot is approaching and after that life will be unbearable. Continuing on forever.

Olivia thinks of their partnership in terms of astronomy. It will end either like a supernova where one day all the pressure builds up until they irreparably explode from each other or they will implode like a black hole and just fold in on themselves until they disappear. She isn't sure which one would hurt more. To burst out in pure fury and frustration or to wake up one morning and realize that there's nothing left of their partnership. That's it has been slowly disappearing all along and she never even realized until it was long gone.

Some days she thinks they'll explode because they're practically at that point already. The point where every little comment has them out of their respective seats and yelling it out in the middle of the bullpen. Other days she thinks that the silence between them will never end. The emptiness will win and they'll be left standing on opposite sides of a canyon wondering how the rift ever got so large and consuming.

Olivia has no idea how long she's been sitting on her couch staring at the threads that make it up. Thinking about astronomy and Elliot. Sometimes it even hurts to think his name. There's too much history between them. Too much.

She wonders if this is what it is like to go insane. To realize that while your peers were out dating, laughing and enjoying life you are contemplating astronomy and impending doom. It feels a lot like insanity. When Olivia looks at the clock she has to stare for a moment before the numbers start to mean something. 2:07.

Well damn.

Olivia's been laying in bed staring at her ceiling for at least an hour before there's knocking on her door. A part of her hopes it's him. A bigger, more realistic part of her know it isn't. They don't talk anymore. They barely exist in the same universe.

Olivia opens the door to find his daughter on the other side. His daughter.

"Maureen?"

"Hi Olivia, can I come in?"

Olivia pushes the door open wider, trusting her actions over her baffled words. Maureen looks tired and slightly uncomfortable but not enough to concern Olivia that something has happened. Maureen perches on the edge of a chair and looks at Olivia.

"Hi." Olivia isn't sure which of them said it and she isn't sure it matters. It's enough to distract her from the silence and she sits across from Maureen.

"Why are you here in the middle of the night Maureen?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"The floor is yours."

"I can't decide if I hate you or love you."

"Excuse me?"

"A part of me blames you for taking my father away from us. Sure the job takes him away, but you're just a part of the job too. Another part of me thanks God that he's has you in his life during the divorce right now. Goodness knows he needs everyone he can get on his side."

"Maureen, what? What the hell are you talking about?" Olivia feels a combination of bewilderment and shock. Were they even discussing the same man she knew?

"As much as I love my mother, Dad has always been labeld the 'bad guy' and now it's even harder when their fighting over sharing children…." Olivia interrupts strongly.

"Maureen, I'm not following anything you're saying!"

"Olivia, I'm telling you that my dad needs someone on his side during this divorce and it sure as hell better be you."

Divorce. The word feels foreign to Olivia and from the look on Maureen's face she thinks she said it out loud.

"I, I didn't know…God, if I'd known…"

"You mean he didn't…"

"Never…"

"Oh."

The apartment is silent and they both look down.

"Do you need a place to stay?" Olivia asks softly.

"Just for tonight."

Olivia makes the couch up for Maureen before returning to her own bed.

What a hell of a night.

Olivia and Maureen sat across from each other in a booth in the diner closest to Olivia's apartment.

"The bottom line is that, regardless of what Elliot is going through right now, I'm not sure I'm what he needs. I'm certainly the last person he wants on his side right now." Olivia said exasperated with the bizarre conversation.

"Look Olivia, I really do like you. I've always liked you even when my mother hated you. But right now you are being ridiculous." Olivia felt taken aback. Maureen continued. "Dad is alone. Alone. What part of that do you not understand? He has no one. As much as all his kids love him, we're caught between his vicious fights with Kathy and the last thing we want is to grow up in a war zone."

"Does your mother know you call her Kathy?"

"What I call her depends on how much like a mother she is acting."

"Maureen, I don't doubt for a minute that this divorce is hard on you guys but I really just don't think I'm the person you father needs."

"You are all he has right now." Maureen stood up and collected her belongings. "I know how strange this is for you but he's my father and he deserves better than this. Have a good day Olivia. I hope the next time I see you we can have happier conversations."

Olivia gave Maureen a small smile as she watched Maureen walk away. "Me too."

Olivia was late to work. It didn't happen often so she figured she could get away with it once. She felt it a bit of a stupor after Maureen had left the diner. The visit had been too strange to believe and part of her was sure she dreamt the whole thing up.

She walked into the squad room coffees in hand to find Elliot, looking empty as usual, buried in papers. She stopped right next to his desk and deposited his coffee without a word before returning to her own desk and sitting down. Olivia watched as he slowly looked up. First at the coffee and then at her. She gave him a small smile.

"Hi."

And it felt a little like watching the stars. Awe.

As strange as it had been though, Maureen's visit had struck her in a place she forgot she had. Before the black holes and the supernovas, before the divorce and even before any of the problems she and Elliot had been friends. And maybe that would be enough. Maybe not everything had to end in explosions or vortexes. Maybe some things could continue infinitely like the universe. Forever extending.