Clutching his broken left arm against the gaping wound in his abdomen, Captain Jack Harkness hissed in pain as he tried to pick up his pistol. Try as he might, he just couldn't get his hand to work. There was a deep tear across the back of the hand which had seemingly caused some tendon damage. Jack was in all kinds of agony, and he knew if he could just put a bullet in his head, he would be fine. All he could do was lie there and wait for death, or his team, to find him.
A short while later Jack could hear someone calling his name. Opening his eyes he was overjoyed to find Ianto kneeling beside him. The younger man's face was etched with worry.
"Kill me Ianto," Jack begged, through gritted teeth. The pain was evident in voice. "Please."
"No Jack! You can't ask me to do that."
Ianto was appalled. How could Jack expect him to do that? The Welshman knew the Captain wouldn't be dead for long, but that wasn't the point.
"Please Yan? I can't do it myself or I would have by now"
Staring deeply into Jack's pain filled eyes, Ianto realised he had no choice. The other man was suffering and Ianto had the power to stop it. He drew his gun and held it against Jack's chest, directly over his heart. Tears streamed down Ianto's face as he brushed a brief kiss on his lover's trembling lips.
"I'm sorry," whispered Ianto, before pulling the trigger.
Jack immediately stilled and his eyes glazed over. Ianto struggled to bring his sobbing under control and rose to his feet. He looked from Jack to his gun with disgust, unable to comprehend what he'd done. A sudden wave of nausea churned Ianto's stomach and, dropping his weapon; he turned away from Jack and violently vomited.
When he was done, Ianto knew he had to get away from there. He couldn't face the man whose life he had just taken. Without really knowing where he was going, Ianto ran from the cooling body of his lover.
Jack gasped back to life just as the rest of the team found him. He sat up and looked around for Ianto.
"Did you die again?" Owen asked, a little too sarcastically.
Where's Ianto?" asked Jack, ignoring Owen completely.
The tone of his voice and the look of fear on his face told the others that there was something very wrong.
"What happened?" Tosh enquired, carefully.
Jack explained how the two weevils they'd been hunting and attacked him before leaving him for dead.
"Ianto found me," he continued. "I asked him to kill me. He didn't want to but I needed him to do it."
Jack clambered to his feet and noticed Ianto's gun and the splash of vomit. He scanned the surrounding area, but could see no sign of the Welshman.
"What have I done?"
Ianto ran until he came to a river. He slumped down on the bank and cursed himself for running away like a child. Then he cursed Jack for asking him to shoot him. How could he? Didn't he realise exactly what that meant to Ianto. It was almost too much to bear.
About fifteen minutes later, Ianto sat shivering. He was startled when an RAF greatcoat was draped over his shoulders.
"I'm so sorry Ianto, but I had to ask you to do it."
The younger man turned to face the man now sitting beside him. Jack couldn't quite read the expression on Ianto's face.
"That was the second time," the Welshman mumbled.
"I don't understand."
"The second time you've told me to kill the person I love."
The statement came like a punch to the gut for Jack. He'd been an absolute idiot. Taking hold of Ianto's face, he looked into the beautiful blue eyes.
"Please forgive me Ianto. I should have remembered."
He thumbed away the tears which were flowing down the younger man's cheeks. Ianto really didn't need any more nightmares and Jack had just handed him another one.
"I need you to forgive me Yan, for asking you to kill me and for telling you to kill Lisa."
"I forgave you for Lisa, a long time ago," Ianto replied, with a whisper. "And I will forgive you for this. It was just hard having to do it. The rational part of me knows you always come back, but my heart is a different matter. Can you forgive me?"
"What for?" Jack asked, puzzled by the strange request.
"Hesitating."
Jack laughed slightly and pulled Ianto in for a kiss.
"Nothing to forgive," he mumbled into his lover's lips.
Ianto returned the kiss before pulling away. There was still a lingering look of sadness on his face.
"What is it?" Jack asked, concerned.
"I don't know if I'll be able to do it again. What if you need me and I can't be there for you?"
"Hey, don't worry. We'll cross that bridge if we come to it."
"Oi, Harkness!"
Jack and Ianto turned to see Owen striding towards them. The Welshman quickly turned away again, ashamed of his tears. Sensing his discomfort, Jack stood up and walked towards Owen, telling Ianto to catch up when he was ready.
"Did you get the Weevils?"
"Contained in the SUV," Owen replied. "How's Tea-boy?"
"I told him to kill Lisa and asked him to kill me. He's not doing great."
Back in the hub, Ianto helped get the Weevils into the cells then hid himself in his little tourist office. Half an hour later, Owen brought him a cup of coffee. This event was almost enough to cause Ianto to drop dead with shock.
"Erm… thank you, Owen."
"Jack told me what happened, so I brought you these also."
The medic handed Ianto a packet of sleeping tablets and gave him a concerned smile.
"Figured you might have trouble sleeping," he explained. "Don't take too many, and if you have any other problems dealing with today's events, tell me immediately."
"Did Jack send you up?"
"Believe it or not Ianto, I do actually care." He said a little tersely. "You have a tendency to internalise and that isn't good for you. If you don't feel like you can talk to me at least talk to Jack."
Ianto smiled at Owen with gratitude and accepted the coffee and pills.
"Thank you."
Owen left just as Jack arrived.
"Come on Yan, grab you coat. I'm gonna take you home and show you just how alive I am."
The end.