Her Royal Madness

By Sapphire Nymph

xoxoxooxoxxoxo

They think that I don't hear the whispers. They act as if I'm a fragile little doll. They don't know what I've seen, what I've been through. One of those nurses follows me around like a lost puppy – Jandi, Jundi, Julee, whatever her name is – as if she thinks I cannot do anything on my own.

They say that I am crazy. I'm not. You have to believe me that I'm not. If I were insane would I be talking to you this way? Would I making sense? No, of course I wouldn't because that would mean I was insane, unstable. Which I'm not, of course.

I want to get out this place, this la-la land in the middle of nowhere. I itch to get back to the capital and rule the world with an iron fist. I shall show dear Zuzu what a true ruler is supposed to be! My own mother said that I was monster and she was right. But she never knew. No one knew. I couldn't tell, he forbid me to say a word.

But now? Now that they think I am crazy, maybe I am but I do have my moments of clarity when the visions leave me alone. Now that they think I am crazy, I can tell you all about the things I see. No one will believe me but you do, don't you?

Wonderful! When I retake my rightful place on the Fire Nation throne, you shall be at my right-hand! You won't dare betray me like those two traitors! We shall have them hanged! No, I shall make their deaths long and painful! It's only what traitors deserve after all!

In this dreadful place they have imprisoned me, I like to sit in front of the pond and watch the turtleducks. Reminiscent of my childhood, a time I've almost forgotten. And it's in this place that the visions are most vivid. The voices, they call to me. Asking me to see. Imbeciles! Do they think that I will fall for their plots?

I see.. I don't know what I see. Another lifetime? A distant possibility? Or the workings of a crazed mind? They are drugging me in this place! It's all their fault!

You must wonder what do I see and I shall tell you since you have been such a wonderful listener. Remind me to reward you once I get my throne back.

I see the Earth Kingdom Palace in all its grandeur. I see people dancing; people in blue furs, green silks, delicate reds and whimsical yellow. I see Father talking with the Earth King, Mother at his side. He looks pleased by that ghost of a smile on his lips. It is odd to see such an expression on his face. I see Zuzu dancing with a female Air Nomad.

"Azula! Come dance!" I hear a voice call my name, it seems so familiar yet not. As soon as I turn around, I realize why. It is a voice I have heard time and again but never in friendship only in anger and hate.

The female Waterbender stands behind me, dressed up in her nation's color. She pulls my hand and everything blurs but I see my own face, smiling at me. It is odder still to see that eerie smile on my lips, a smile of delight, of happiness, of childish glee. Never before have I seen such a smile play upon my lips. It is not me! It must be the work of some Earthbender!

I hear my own voice, "I don't want to dance, Katara."

What foolishness! Why would I even allow a peasant, filth!, to touch me? I would never allow myself to be friends with such filth! Never today and certainly not tomorrow!

Some days I see myself watching from a distance, a scene of that giggly group of misfit heroes my brother acquaints himself with. Unsurprisingly, the Avatar is missing. After all, if there was no war, there'd be no reason for the Avatar to save the world and therefore no reason for him to run away and be found by those Watertribe peasants 100 years later. If I were insane, would I be able to draw such a conclusion?

Of course not! Because I AM NOT CRAZY! I have never been crazy and I never will be! Father used to tell me that I was a genius! A prodigy, unlike any other child he told me! Could a genius be crazy? Not a chance!

I AM NOT INSANE! They're lying to you! They want to turn you against me! Don't listen to them!

No! Don't leave me! I want to leave this place! Take me with you! Please!

xoxoxo

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