Heaven's Reward
Written By: ANKuma
Disclaimer: Sadly, folks, I don't own Gravitation Extra... Not in any way, shape, or form, in all honesty, because I don't have any money to buy it... But after borrowing it from a friend of mine, I knew I just HAD to write this... So I jotted down all the dialogue I would need to write this, reluctantly returned the novel, and now I'm typing this up for all of you to read! Gravitation is owned by the mystical and majestic Maki Murikami-sama, who should win the Nobel Prize for continuing with Yuki and Shuichi's lives... Well, not in the form of manga porn, anyways! '
Author's Notes: Gravitation Extra made me fall completely and totally in love with the character of Eiri Yuki once again... Maybe even moreso, because in the Extra volume, we see an Eiri that has come to terms with his love for Shuichi... So much so, that we see what I have suspected about his character from the very beginning in no uncertain terms... Eiri is terrified at the thought of losing Shuichi. So, with this piece, I will explore the new Eiri... The Extra Eiri... And I hope you enjoy!
Genre: Drama, Romance, Character Exploration, Contemplative Piece
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Summary: Maybe it's only when you're blind, that you're truly able to see...
WARNING!: Major spoiler alert! If you have not read Gravitation Extra, and do NOT want anything ruined for you, do NOT read this!
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The cool, wet ground felt damp and earthy underneath his well-manicured hands, the dirt crumbling and shifting through his fingers. Eiri dimly recalled hearing the soft pitter-patter of rain that morning against the window of his room in the hospital. He hadn't really got it at the time; why would the hospital officals feel the need to put a blind person in a room with a window?
...It wasn't as if he could enjoy the view.
And then the kid had been there with him. He knew it was him the minute he had touched his face--big eyes and baby cheeks, and so small that Eiri's whole palm could cover it.
For a moment, Eiri had been glad that he couldn't see, because if he could have, he would've inevitably noticed how much the kid looked like his father.
Maybe if this were a permanant blindness, he wouldn't mind having the kid around so much...
But if it weren't that, Eiri mused, it would probably be something else. He knew that. No matter what, the only thing Eiri would be able to think about whenever he Yoshiki or this kid, was Yuki. He had chosen his nom de plume with that in mind, knowing that anytime he heard it, wrote it down in some fangirl's book, saw it printed on a poster in a bookstore window, he'd remember. How could he forget? After all, it was what he derserved.
Because this, Eiri was sure, was all about punishment.
Despite all of that, the writer had been glad for the temporary escape from his guilt. Maybe the gods had decided he deserved a break for saving the son of the man he had killed.
Eiri had chuckled darkly in his head at that. Must be some whacked out version of parol from Hell.
Even then, he could hear Riku's soft breathing, and he had wondered, breifly, if all of his other senses had improved temporarily, or if the child's breathing had always been that loud. "Hi there," he had said at length, a small smile curling on his lips. "You didn't get hurt, did you?" When no response had come from the child other than more soft breathing, he continued. "Guess it's true, what they say about little brats being indestructible... You're just like him."
And of course, by 'him', he had meant Shuichi, for Eiri had learned through the course of their relationship that there was nothing that could possibly break him apart. There were things that made him hesitate, made him falter for a moment or two, even make him cry and lash out, but in the end, Eiri didn't think that there was anything that could beat his lover.
Shuichi, as the novelist had learned, was the strongest person he knew. Although childish and rash and idiotic, he was filled with an indominable power that Eiri often wished he himself could posess. How was it that someone who looked so weak could be so limitless?
And it was while he was thinking all of this, all of these thoughts, that Eiri had felt tears drop on his fingertips, and heard the child-like sniffles that Shuichi would often give when he was truly upset about something.
By just those simple words, Eiri had moved the child to tears. Perhaps he was more like Shuichi than he had originally thought...
"Hey." Eiri had said, commanding his voice to sound a little more gruff. "Little brat. Don't get me wrong, okay? I still hate you." His kind smile had still been in place and he had felt Riku move, wiping away his tears on the collar of his grey cotton yukata. Eiri knew that this was the way to say things, the way he had to say things. Because if Riku were as much like Shuichi as Eiri thought, then he would surely be able to see through his feeble act like the singer could, too. "I wouldn't shed a tear if you were hit by a car. Twice. I hate you from the bottom of my heart. So don't thank me, thinking I saved you. If you do that, I'll throw up...again!"
The kid had sniffled once more before managing a watery, '...Okay.'
"Not 'okay'. Say 'yes'."
"...Yes."
Eiri had paused for a few minutes to recall that split second before Shuichi had come to his rescue and stopped that truck from hitting him. Giving a weak chuckle, he had said, "...You know what? A that moment, I thought...'finally...finally I can relax.'"
"...Are you...relaxed?" The writer would never be able to forget the way the child's voice had sounded in that moment, because he had sounded just like Shuichi.
Smiling sadly, Eiri had sighed with a little laugh. "...No."
And that was what had brought him here, on the ground, hands twisted around the damp earth, feeling it sift and crumble through his fingers. He remembered reading something in the Bible that Yuki Kitazawa had owned and kept proped up against his bookshelf. "Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes." He couldn't remember the book, only the hazy red text, but he thought he finally stood what those words meant.
Because this was it; if he didn't repent, if he didn't prove to Ryuichi that he needed Shuichi more than he did...he would lose everything.
Everything but his looks.
Ryuichi had known that as well. He had proven that to Eiri when he had said, "You know yourself, don't you, Eiri Yuki? If you take away your looks, what do you have left?"
So there he was. Kneeling in the dirt before a Rock 'N Roll god...
The only person that might have the power to steal Shuichi away from him...
And Eiri Uesugi wasn't about to let that happen.
He pulled himself up as well as he could, determined, driven. This was it; the final frontier. A now or never situation.
Eiri would be damned if he fucked it up.
Gracelessly, blindly, Eiri groped in the semi-darkness he was trapt in, until he gripped Ryuichi Sakuma's shirt, the dirt from his hands touching the otherwise immaculate fabric. He tilted his head upwards, almost able to make out the outline of the rock star against the harsh sunlight, and answered honestly. "Nothing," he said, for once not worried about saving face, about masking his emotions regarding Shuichi, who was no doubt still watching this spectacle with Riku at his side. "I have nothing, then..."
He gripped tighter on the shirt, pulling it down so that Ryuichi and he were face to face. "So don't take this away..." It was said softly, passionately, and even though he couldn't see it, he could sense the change in Ryuichi then, the recognition. "He's my only..."
Eiri wasn't sure whether to be glad that he was interupted or not. He supposed that he couldn't complain because Ryuichi went off with his brother and his victory was silently sealed.
He had, despite the odds, despite his own pathedic displays, won.
So even though he couldn't tell Shuichi how he really felt, what he wished that he could've said without interuption, he supposed that to some degree Shuichi knew.
Because Eiri would've finished that sentence with one word.
Salvation.