DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SOUTH PARK! MATT STONE AND TREY PARKER DO! SO NO SUING! THANKS!
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Author's Note: This will be a total AU, non-canon story of South Park. There will be homosexual elements in this story (Stan x Kenny or Stenny or Kennan) so if that's not your cup of tea, then please turn back now (or forever hold your peace). Also there may be some OOC-ness due to the adaptation of the plot, but I'll do my best to keep the characters they way you know them as much as possible =) Also some elements of this story will be fictionalised, so don't go crazy on me if you see something that doesn't exist! Also I prefer using Canadian/Australian English spelling conventions so if a word seems misspelled to you, it's likely that it's spelled a different way in Aus/Cdn English.
I NOW PRESENT TO YOU: STAN MARSH: THE BERNARDO CHRONICLES. PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW AS FEEDBACK IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT FOR ME TO CONTINUE WRITING =)
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NOTE: This chapter has been revised as of 9 January 2012.
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"Mom? Dad? I'm home!"
Sixteen-year-old high school junior Stanley "Stan" Marsh entered through the front door of his home. Closing the cool November Colorado air behind him and taking in the warm ambiance his home had to offer, the teenager plopped his duffle bag down on the carpeted floor from another hard football practice session, being the quarterback of the football team that he is. Taking off his favourite blue beanie with the red poofball on top, he let his shaggy brunette (1) hair flow freely with the air, his long bangs being brushed up towards his left side, concealing his left eye. As the brunette dove on the couch, a dog quickly came up running to his side.
"Hey Sparky! Here boy!" he beamed out a smile, petting and playing with his dog for a bit before grabbing the remote to turn on the TV.
"Dude, alright!" Stan delightedly grinned as his favourite show in the whole world, Terrance and Phillip, began to display on the TV. "Ahhhhh, everything's just… so… perfect…" he happily sighed, and who could blame him for making such a statement. With his older sister, Shelley, finally moving out of the house to attend college in New York and for getting on better terms with her the moment she had her braces removed before she left, and with his grandfather, Marvin, finally being able to rest in peace and move on to the afterlife several months ago, Stan had the house all to himself… well, when his parents weren't home of course.
"Stanley?" his mother, Sharon, called out from the kitchen.
"Yeah, mom?" Stan kept his focus on the television as Terrance cracked a joke, farting on Phillip's face in the process.
"Could you come to the kitchen for a few minutes? Your father and I need to speak with you about something really important."
"Awwww, mom…" the brunette on the couch groaned, not wanting to get up from his warm and comfortable spot on the couch. "Can't it wait 'til dinner time?"
"Stan, you get your ass in the kitchen right now!" Stan's father, Randall, or Randy as most others called him by, hollered as well from the kitchen.
"Awww, dude…" Stan frustratingly grumbled as he turned off the TV. "'Kay, I'm heading over there."
This better not be about a bunch of bullshit that I did… or possibly did… or haven't done…
He began the walk to the kitchen where he found his parents sitting at the table.
"Hello son," Sharon smiled as she motioned for her son to take a seat across from them. "How was your day?"
"Uh… fine, I guess…" Stan already sensed some sort of suspicion from his parents. His mom would normally ask about his day either at dinner or when she passed by as he watched TV and likely showed very little interest as it was something she felt compelled to say everyday when she saw her son home from school. "Y'know… long day at school… hanging out with friends… football practice…"
"That's sounds wonderful…" Sharon nodded and looked at her husband before continuing on. "Now Stanley… your father and I have an important announcement that we need to share with you. This may change the way that we live our daily lives from now on."
"Aww-aww!" Stan clamped his oceanic eyes tightly as he pinched the bridge of his nose, already crafting a conclusion in his mind. "Aww-aww! Dude, d— don't tell me that you're gonna have another baby!"
Randy and Sharon scrunched their eyebrows at their youngest child, sporting on a confused countenance at his sudden outburst before giving off extremely hearty laughs.
"Hahaha, Stanley… I'm not pregnant…" Sharon tried to stifle her laugh.
"Oh…" Stan tried to brush off the laughter from his stupidity of jumping into conclusions rather quickly, something that wasn't evident with him as he was the type of person that normally rationalised things out before making the correct assertion. "Then, what is it?"
"Well…" Randy cleared his throat, taking a sip of coffee from his mug before continuing on. "A few days ago, I got a call about a great job offer as a college geologist instructor."
"Ah, well that's cool," Stan smiled a bit. He realised that this would be good for his father since Randy had been out of work for a while, being laid off from the U.S. Geological Survey office in Denver. The temporary job he had as a clerk in Old Towne South Park hasn't brought in much money for the family, along with Sharon's job as a secretary at the Rhinoplasty Clinic. Stan didn't mind though, as money did not really mean much to him… except when it came for wanting his own car. "Where's this job at anyways? Denver?"
"Uh… a little further than that…" Sharon started to sound a bit nervous.
"Um… Colorado Springs?" Stan got a no from his parents. "Fort Collins?" Another no. "Pueblo?" Yet another no. "Jesus Christ, where is it then?"
"In…" Randy took the time for a dramatic pause.
"Oh my god, can you just tell me where already?" Stan was clearly annoyed by his father's melodramatic ways.
"In San Diego… at San Diego State University…" Randy finally said, putting on a smile for his son, along with Sharon, hoping to receive a positive response from their son. However, the exact opposite occurred as utter and total silence dominated the air, Stan blankly staring at his parents, not exactly taking in the news that he'd just heard.
"W— wait…" Stan pinched the bridge of nose once again. "You mean San Diego… as in… San Diego… California?"
"That is correct…" Randy calmly nodded in the affirmative.
"DUDE!" Stan's voice was almost about to crack. "But we live in Colorado right now!"
"Well, yeah…" His father replied matter-of-factly. "Which is why we are moving down to San Diego after Thanksgiving."
Silence once again prevailed over the ambiance between the three.
I knew this was gonna be about some bullshit…
"D— DUDE! What do you mean by move?" the youngest Marsh was now on edge, his voice becoming shakier as he continued to speak. "We can't just simply move on a whim! I mean, I'm a junior now in high school! I've pretty much established myself here and I don't wanna be uprooted by sudden change!"
"Calm down, Stanley…" Sharon tried to assuage her son's outburst.
"What do you mean calm down?" Stanley had to utilise some serious effort not to use profane language in front of his parents. "You guys just simply decided to move the whole family without even consulting me!" The brunette was now breathing a bit harder from the tirade that he was taking out towards his parents, his face becoming redder in the process.
"Stan!" Randy decided to give it a try. "This would be a great opportunity for us. I mean, I'll be earning a hell of a lot more than at my old job in Denver, so that the family, and especially you, can have more things and we'll be able to enjoy the sun all year round and—"
"I don't care about money!" Stan interrupted once again, this time with more vigour, yet irritation, in his voice. "And I love the seemingly year round snow here in South Park!"
"Stan!" Randy slammed a hand on the table, causing his wife and son to freeze in a tense posture, eyes widened. "You have got to realise that this will be a great opportunity for all of us!"
"And you gotta realise that your uprooting me at the most critical time: a junior in high school!" Stan immediately fired back. He attempted to cool down before offering a quick compromise to his parents. "Okay, okay… how about if you two move down to San Diego and I can stay at Uncle Jimbo's and visit you guys during the holidays?"
"Absolutely NOT, Stanley!" Sharon made her opinion known. "And that's final! No negotiations!"
"Yeah, Stan, your coming with us down to San Diego whether you like it or not!" Randy inputted as well.
Stan looked at his parents in absolute disbelief, hating their stubborn nature and deemed it impossible to plead to them for him to stay. Looking down on the oak surface of the table, the brunette exasperatedly sighed in defeat, slamming his hands on the table as a final punctuation mark for his parents. "Jesus Christ! C'mon Sparky…" He got up and walked to the stairs to go to his room as his dog trailed from behind. "Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here!"
"You watch your mouth, Stanley Marsh!" Sharon got up from her chair to lecture at her irate son, but stopped when she heard the door slam upstairs.
"Don't worry, Sharon…" Said woman looked at her husband at the table. "He's a teenager… he'll get over it sooner or later…"
Sharon sighed as she nodded, resuming her seat at the table as she leaned onto Randy's side. "I hope you're right Randy… I really hope that you're right…"
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Stan was lying on his bed, gazing at the ceiling above in his green-coated room with Sparky beside him. His room was typical for any normal sixteen-year-old boy. It was a bit messy but not to an abomination, had many posters tacked up on the walls, including one of Terrance and Phillip, pictures of him with his friends, and several wildlife posters, as he was an avid animal lover.
Ugh… dude, this is a bunch of bullshit! Why is it when everything seems to be going right for me, something always fucks it up for me…
He sighed as he looked out the window, admiring the Earth on the ground blanketed in white snow and the picturesque Rocky Mountains in the distance resting against a fiery orange sky, indicating the sun was setting behind the tall landmasses. He realised that although he never had much appreciation to the landscape and the overall ambiance surrounding South Park he grew up in all his life, he would really miss it if the move to San Diego does go through.
I sure as hell will miss this place… all the memories…
Stan closed his eyes, trying to relive some of those moments as he gently rested his forehead on the cool glass window as the sun continued to sink behind the mountains in the distance.
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Drearily gazing out at the rolling hills of rural Northern San Diego County, California, Stan rested his head on his hand with his elbow propped on the door ledge of his family's forest-green 2002 Ford Explorer while listening to his iPod going southbound on Interstate 15. With Sparky in the backseat, his mom took the liberty of driving the family SUV, as Randy took control of the medium sized U-Haul moving van from behind. He had been in the car for three days now since the Marsh family, namely Randy and Sharon, decided to stop over in Las Vegas overnight in hopes of cheering up their son, which had miserably failed.
Now in Southern California, Stan had not spoken a single word ever since they left South Park behind and chose to either harrumph or ignore his mother entirely.
"So, Stanley…" Sharon tried to stir up a conversation, getting tired of the silent treatment that dominated the ambiance for the entire trip, despite having the radio playing some of her favourite oldies. "I wonder what San Diego is going to be like…"
No response from Stan whatsoever.
"I hear that they have a Sea World there… and I know how much you love whales and dolphins..."
Uh… which is why we went to the aquarium in Denver that one time for my birthday a long time ago… Stan was eager to keep up the silent treatment.
"I hear San Diego's weather is pretty mild all year round…"
Dude, no shit… that's why people are always at the beach there…
"I hear—"
"Mom!" Stan sharply said to his mother with a look of disdain, clearly being irritated of what she was doing. Sharon got the hint and ceased any further action, deeming it impossible to reach out to her son when he's being this tense, especially since they left South Park behind… for good.
About half an hour later, Stan noticed out the window how the landscape had become more urbanised with signs of civilisation being more evident, quite the opposite from what they drove through earlier, despite the rolling hills still being present. They also noted how the traffic was starting to become heavier as they entered one of the first major cities within San Diego County: Escondido.
Meh… looks like a typical suburban town… though with more Spanish-style architecture on the homes and buildings out here… Stan critiqued in his mind as they continued to drive through the city for a few more minutes.
"We're here!" Stan flinched a bit as his mother pointed at the sign reading San Diego: City Limit. Pop: 1,279,329. Elev: 72 FT.
I guess… we really are here…
Stan seemed to get sadder as he mused. He continued to look outside. The part of San Diego they were in looked very suburban and fairly affluent. Construction on the freeway was evident with many orange cone barriers and temporary signage all around.
"Let's see… exit off at Rancho Bernardo Road…" Sharon read on the piece of paper as she took the next exit of said street name. Turning left off the off-ramp at the green arrow, Stan and his mother were welcomed by a brown Welcome to Rancho Bernardo sign on the grassy median after crossing the underpass that carried Interstate 15.
"This is San Diego, right?" Stan finally spoke up for quite some time, clearing his throat in the process.
"That's correct, and the neighbourhood we will be living in is called Rancho Bernardo."
"Rancho Bernardo…" was all that Stan replied back as he took in more of his surroundings while the SUV met a red light at the intersection with Bernardo Center Drive. Like he noted earlier, many of the buildings were of Spanish, Mediterranean-esque architecture, built on the rolling hills of the area. He also noted the white on blue street signs that San Diego utilised, the abundance of trees and mature landscaping that added to the fauna of Rancho Bernardo. In addition, as they drove along the road, he noticed more of a presence of expensive import automobiles on the street, including Mercedes-Benz, BMW, Audi, Lexus, Infiniti, and other affluent vehicles. With all of the big houses and cars he saw from near and afar, Stan already drew a conclusion that Rancho Bernardo can be described as one word: snobby.
"Okay, and then make a right onto Bernardo Oaks Drive..." Sharon followed what the piece of paper said. They were soon in the Seven Oaks community and drove through the residential neighbourhood.
Hmph… all of these houses look the same… though I could say the same for South Park… Stan scratched his head as his mother twisted through the neighbourhood, making a few more turns until she found the correct street.
"Aha, here it is: Paseo La Cañada…" Stan snickered as he heard his mom pronounce Cañadalike the country Canada. Before being able to stop, Sharon had drove up onto driveway in what seemed to look like their new home, evident with a realtor sign on the lawn, with a sold sign over the for sale one. "Here we are: 12720 Paseo La Cañada."
Everyone in the SUV got out of the car as the U-Haul Randy drove parked parallel on the street in front of the home.
"Welcome to our new home, Stan!" Randy came up behind his son, putting his hand on the shoulder, though unperturbed when Stan shrugged it off.
So this is my new home huh?
Stan tried to take in the view that was in front of him. As he expected, it was a typical two-story Spanish style home with a topaz exterior and fire-red clay tiled roof, complete with a two-car attached garage. The front lawn was averaged sized, complete with a small palm tree, a lamppost, and a garden by the home. In other words for Stan: It looked really Californian.
"So, what do you think?" Randy proudly asked his son.
"… So you two went on to buy a house without consulting me as well?" Stan simply questioned, earning a nervous look from his parents.
"We— well, you see—" Sharon tried to offer an explanation, but was cut off by Stan immediately.
"Dude, WEAK!" And with that, Stan walked off towards the other direction, stopping at the end of the driveway and gazed at the nearby rolling hills in the distance.
"Come on, Sharon. Let's just get some stuff out and wait for the professional movers to arrive. He'll get over it…" Randy tried to reassure his wife.
"Okay…" Sharon simply nodded before heading off towards the moving truck.
Meanwhile, Stan continued to stare off into the hills in the far distance before turning around to look around at the new house he would be resuming his life into.
Dude, I miss South Park already…
He kicked a small piece of stone gravel on the ground towards the garage, prompting Sparky to chase it, sighing softly to himself.
I guess I better start getting my—
"Hey dude, you new here?" Stan flinched as the sudden voice crept into his ears. He turned around and saw two dudes of the same age as him on the driveway next door. His eyes caught a boy with wavy reddish–auburn hair who was wearing a tight, dark green Billabong shirt with an orange hoodie, a pair of tight jeans, and a pair of high top green Chucks. The dude next to him was a scruffy looking dirty blonde with shaggy hair, sporting on a tight orange Fox racing shirt with a white, dirty looking hoodie, a somewhat baggy pair of cargo shorts with holes and a wallet chain going from his pocket to the belt strap, and a pair of worn-out black Vans slip-ons.
"U— uh… yeah, dude. I am…" Stan wasn't the nervous type around new people, but he wasn't sure why his voice was being so shaky at the moment. "I— I'm Stan Marsh."
"I'm Kyle Broflovski, your next-door neighbour. Welcome to SD dude!" Kyle genuinely smiled at Stan as they shook and slapped hands, assuring him the two would get along.
Heh… he seems like an okay dude…
Stan smiled back as he mused. He then turned his attention at the blonde next to Kyle, who now had a lit cigarette in his mouth.
"Dude, Kenny! Don't be smoking while my parents are here, you ass!" Kyle scrunched his face when his face caught a whiff of tobacco from the dude next to him.
"Dude, so what?" The blonde known as Kenny simply shrugged in indifference as he finally turned his attention to the brunette that was staring at him. "Oh, my bad dude. I'm Kenny McCormick. Welcome to San Diego as well!"
"Sweet. Thanks dude…" Stan politely replied, but for some reason, kept his blue eyes staring at Kenny's oceanic ones.
Dude… I need to stop staring at this eyes… makes it… well… you know…
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Please don't forget to review =) Your comments and suggestions are always welcomed and I do take any reviews posted very seriously. Feedback is EXTREMELY important to me =)
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(1) – For the sake of spelling and consistency purposes, I will be using brunette as a universal term for both male and female who have dark-coloured hair (yes, this includes black hair. Here's a definition courtesy of Merriam-Webster: a person having brown or black hair and often a relatively dark complexion). I will be utilizing the same for blonde as well.