Title: Baby Mine
Author: KellethMetheus
Spoilers: none
Category: Gen
Summary: Sam holds her new baby.
Disclaimer: Not mine but I do now own all of SG-1 and Atlantis. I've seen it all!
Warnings: Things are not always what they seem.
Beta: Thanks to
Challenge: Stargate Kiddrabbles #43- New Baby
~0o0o0~
Although I'm exhausted, I cuddle my little baby closer reveling in her tiny fingers. I rub then softly with my thumb as she grabs my finger and I marvel at her strength.
With a smile on my face I imagine all the wonders I can teach her, my Grace. The mud pies and other childish things we can do together, the fears we'll conquer.
Letting out a contented sigh, she lets go of my hand and settles into sleep. My heart is full of joy and I bury my face in the fuzzy down that covers her small head. I love the beautiful new baby smell that surrounds her and I'm in awe that I had a part in creating this wonder.
My hand reaches out for my husband's hand, but he's not there, he never was. Then in the blink of an eye, my child is gone too, she never existed. I'm alone with my arms achingly empty.
~0o0o0~
Breathing hard, I wake up for the dream. It's come every night for the last week since I left Earth. I feel myself shaking as I shove off my covers and pace the small confines of my quarters on the George Hammond.
Dropping on to the bed, I try not to think about all that I've given up to get here, to be the Captain of this ship, to have those eagles on my shoulder; at the moment they're very heavy.
A few years ago I had a chance to get married when I was with Pete, but I blew it. I got scared and rabbited. Me and Jack did give it a try, sort of, but he was just too jaded and I was too independent. If we had both tried harder, maybe we could have had something, but after keeping our feelings hidden for so long, we had no idea how to function out in the open, to be a couple. So we both went our separate ways; we're still friends, just not lovers.
I've made sacrifices to get here, but it hasn't been without merit. If I hadn't rejoined the Stargate program, I never wouldn't have met Cassie, my greatest blessing and in a way my greatest triumph. If it wasn't for her, I'd have given up a long time ago.
When we lost Janet, I was tempted to quit, but Cassie kept me going. I saw that I needed to continue on for her. I had to make sure the world safe for her and other children, so they don't have to make the same choices and sacrifice that I did.
A smile blossoms on my face as I pick up the picture on the bedside table. In it, I'm holding my Goddaughter, Samantha Grace with Cassie looking over my shoulder. In my other hand, I pick up the one of me and Cassie at her first picnic. She's looking up at me with Colonel, the dog Jack bought her, at her side.
I look at the the two pictures and I see Cassie's smile in both of them and I know that I have made the right decisions, because of me, Cassie and her little girl have a better, a safer world to live in.
Replacing the pictures, I lay back down and pull the covers up around me and at peace with myself I fall asleep immediately.