AN: So this is a SVU/Bones/House crossover. I didn't list it as a crossover because I was afraid it wouldn't get as many readers that way. Listed it as SVU because since I've written them the most, it will mostly be them, but who knows at this point? It's sort of based off of that movie, Couple's Retreat, hence the title… Couples include: Elliot/Olivia, Booth/Brennan, and Cameron/Chase. Set at wherever the shows are currently (11/5/6) except that Elliot and Kathy are divorced. Enjoy!
"This is your fault."
"My fault? How is this my fault?"
"You should've known better."
"You should've known better!"
Olivia huffed and started to storm away from him. Elliot grabbed her wrist.
"No, we're not finished yet."
"What's there left to talk about, Elliot? She's dead."
"Not because of us."
"You really believe that? If we'd gotten there 30 seconds sooner, not stopping to argue about God knows what, she would still be alive!"
"Tea."
"What?"
"Tea. We were arguing about that goddamned tea of yours."
"Oh so this is my fault now?"
"Liv, I never said that.."
"You implied it."
"I'm not going to argue with you about this. All we do is argue anymore. I'm sick of it!"
"And you think I enjoy it?"
"God, will you stop trying to pick a fight?"
"Me? You're the one –."
"Get a divorce, already," Munch mumbled.
"Excuse me?" Elliot and Olivia asked in unison.
"You two are going at it like an unhappy married couple. Cut it out."
The two glared at each other for a brief moment before Olivia stalked away. Elliot followed her.
"He just doesn't know when to stop," Munch said under his breath.
"What's your problem?" Elliot demanded.
"You are!"
"Seriously? I haven't done anything."
"You ever stop to think that maybe that's why?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You really don't get it? Are you that clueless?"
"I guess I am."
She turned to leave again, but stopped when she heard his footsteps behind her.
"Stop following me!"
"Are you going to leave me again? That seems to be your solution these days."
"Three years ago, Elliot. Three years. Let. It. Go."
"Yeah and I thought we were doing better, but I guess I was wrong."
"Doing better how? Things have not changed."
"Things haven't changed? Where have you been?"
"All right that's enough!" Cragen had entered the hallway. "Now is not the time or the place for your bickering."
Olivia shook her head and sighed, avoiding Elliot's gaze.
"I think that after this last case, you two could use some time off. And I know just how you'll be spending it… together."
"What are you talking about?" Elliot asked.
"There's this great little resort down in the Bahamas, and the best part about it is that it offers couple's therapy."
"We're not a couple," Elliot protested.
"Far from it," Olivia mumbled.
"I think I'm going to make it mandatory that you two work out whatever issues you have before you come back here. I will not have you jeopardize anymore of our cases. I don't want to have to break up this partnership, but if you two can't stop fighting, I will. What'll it be?"
Elliot and Olivia looked at each other, holding the other's gaze longer than normal.
"When do we leave?" Elliot asked.
EEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOO BBBBBBBBBBBBB CCCCCCCCCCCCCC
"Let's try an exercise," Sweets suggested, settling into his oversized chair.
"Haven't you noticed that those never work?" Booth asked with an exasperated sigh.
"I've noticed a lot of…tension between the two of you lately and I just want to see if I can resolve it," Sweets explained.
Brennan sighed next to Booth, fidgeting with the hem of her jacket.
"You seem preoccupied, Dr. Brennan," Sweets observed. "What's on your mind?"
She glanced up at him briefly before returning her gaze to her lap.
"Something wrong, Bones?"
"I just have a lot on my mind, that's all."
"Well that's why we're here. So you can discuss –" Sweets started.
"The reason why we're here, Dr. Sweets, is because the Bureau, for some obscure reason, requires it. I'm not here so you can psychoanalyze what's on my mind."
"Feeling a bit touchy today, Dr. Brennan?"
"Don't worry about it, Sweets. It's just PMS. She's about to start her cycle."
"How do you –?" Brennan started. "You know what, never mind."
"I find it very telling that you've picked up on that Agent Booth."
"You find a lot of things 'very telling,'" Booth remarked.
Sweets shot him a disapproving look before continuing. "So this tension between the two of you, where do you think it's stemming from?"
"I haven't noticed any tension," Brennan said, flatly.
"No more than usual," Booth mumbled.
"What are you implying Booth?"
"Come on, Bones. You can't just sit there and tell me that you haven't felt the electricity."
"I don't know what that means."
"It –."
Sweets cut him off. "Okay so obviously there's some unresolved issues there."
"Unresolved issues? How the hell did you get that out of what we were talking about?" Booth asked.
"I told you Psychology was a meaningless science," Brennan pointed out.
"Okay, okay that's enough. Dr. Brennan, have you really not noticed an increase in tension in your relationship with Agent Booth?"
"Can't say that I have."
"Perhaps you should spend some more time together," Sweets suggested.
"Are you kidding me? We already all but live together," Booth stated.
Brennan shot him a hurt look. He didn't notice.
"Actually I heard about this retreat thing down in the Bahamas, it might be good for you to…"
"The Bahamas? Count me in. I could use a vacation," Booth said.
"What kind of retreat?" Brennan asked.
"Well it's a place where the two of you go and work out your issues without having to worry about a case or anything."
"I don't have time for this," Brennan stated, simply.
"Ah come on, Bones. If I can make time, you can make time. We're partners."
"Well yes, but there are additional bodies in Limbo to be identified and my publisher's pushing for another book…"
"When was the last time you went on a non-bone related vacation?"
"But I consider –."
"Bones…"
"When I was 14 we did go to New York."
"Then I'd say that this is long overdue. A little sun, some water, it'll be fun…"
"The Bahamas actually has the clearest ocean water in the world."
"Even more reason to go!"
"I really should emphasize that this will be a time to sort out your tension and…" Sweets tried to interject.
"Don't listen to him. We can just have fun. What do you say, Bones?"
She hesitated before responding. "I suppose the interns could work in Limbo and I can really write anywhere…"
"That's the spirit!" Booth exclaimed. "Sign us up, Sweets!"
EEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOO BBBBBBBBBBBBBB CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
"You haven't called her yet?"
"Leave me alone, House."
"It's been weeks since you've talked to your little love-muffin."
"We're getting a divorce. I'd appreciate it if you didn't refer to her as my 'little love-muffin.'"
"Divorced? But you two were so perfect for each other…"
"Cut the crap. You know why she's doing this."
House stared at him blankly.
"I killed a man," Chase groaned.
"See now, that's not what she told me."
"What'd she tell you?"
"I feel like it had something to do with me being poison. Apparently you and I are becoming too much alike and she just couldn't handle another me in the world. I actually think the world could use more people like me…"
"House! Focus."
"You really should try talking to her again. I fear that I've developed a conscience."
"Which has got what to do with me and Cameron?"
"I kinda sorta feel guilty for what happened and I'm not entirely sure why seeing as how you're the screw up…"
"If I call her, she's just going to hang up on me."
"Right. Which is why I called her."
"You called her? And said what?"
"I told her about this couple's retreat thing I heard someone babbling about in the clinic. People go there to try and fix their dying relationships. Plus side? It's in the Bahamas!"
"What'd she say to that?"
"Technically she said that she hated snow and then hung up. I'm going to interpret that as she's willing to give it a try if you are."
"She hates snow?"
"Yes, it's a common occurrence 'round these parts. I thought an Aussie like you would agree with such a statement…"
"I'll do it."
"Do what?"
"The retreat thing. I'd do anything to get her back."
"You could probably just quite this job and…"
"Besides that. Tell her I'll be there. I want to make things work."
AN: So? How was it? I'm actually quite proud of this and I'm super excited to write more. BB and CC is a whole new writing experience for me. It's kind of fun. But as promised, it'll be heavy EO since this is listed as SVU. Hope we all share a common interest for these shows. ;)