Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara! or Kirby
Sorry if I got a few things wrong, my friend who likes Kirby asked me to write this even though I don't know much about him, but anyway, here it is
Izaya-kun's Rampage in Ikebukuro
It was just your typical everyday day in Ikebukuro, until Izaya had somehow obtained the powers of Kirby. How the actual fuck that happened is not clear although it is highly dangerous. He first discovered his powers when he was taking a bubble bath and he accidentally sucked in a bubble and started floating. Then he soon realised that whatever he would suck in he obtained the power of.
By now he had somehow managed to suck up a vending machine. Needles to say he now had the powers of a vending machine and he could produce a drink or snack at any time he wants. He went around Ikebukuro producing drinks here and there and gave them to everyone. For about an hour or two the whole city celebrated for they were all receiving free drinks! That is, until Izaya decided to suck up a drink.
Fizzing through the city he went in search of Shizuo Heiwajima. When he found him, he saw him enjoying a drink that Izaya had produced earlier, completely unaware of its source. Well what did you expect? The drinks have to come out of Izaya from somewhere, meaning yes; the drinks come out of Izaya's ass. After he found Shizuo, Izaya could see that he is clearly very angered, not because of the drink, but simply because he couldn't stand Izaya. Unaware of his newly found power, Shizuo charged at Izaya with a stop sign. As he reached to hit him, he saw Izaya fizz away. The confusion on Shizuo's face was priceless.
Izaya's next stop was Celty, he wanted to show her his amazing new powers because he can. When he reached her, he got an idea, why not suck up Celty? Then he would have the powers of a Dullahan and would then be immortal. He sucked up Celty and felt his head roll off of his neck. He saw his severed head on the ground and almost died from shock. How was he looking at his head when it was on the ground? Wasn't he supposed to be immortal? Then he remembered, Celty hadn't a head either and so he stopped panicking.
He opened his mouth to tell someone of his new powers and immortality, but soon discovered that he could not speak for he hadn't a mouth to speak from anymore. Scared, he wandered the city once again, fearing that he will be mute forever. But then he remembered, he has the power of Kirby! He could suck anything up and then obtain its powers. He tried sucking up a human walking by him, but alas, nothing happened. Was he doomed to live this way forever? Of course he didn't mind immortality, but he was only trying it out for fun.
The days went by and Izaya still wandered the city without a head, well, he had a head, but it wasn't on his head anymore. People soon began to call him the 'Headless Wanderer' for he wandered the city for no reason at all. Seriously, there was absolutely no reason, he just wandered because he could.
Then one morning, he woke up in the bath, soaking wet in the cold, bubble-less water. He checked his neck for his head and found that it was still intact, he tried sucking up the water to see if he could obtain its powers. Realizing he couldn't he let out a scream of joy!
"Thank goodness it was just a dream!" Izaya exclaimed joyfully.