A/N: I love this song, and it just felt right for Charlie and Matteusz. It's sad and heartbreaking, yet lovely and sweet. So, here, more angst. Song is Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls, or you could listen to the cover by Alycia Marie and Chris Brennan.
'And I'd give up forever to touch you,
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow.
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be,
And I don't want to go home right now.'
As Charlie shucked off his jacket, Matteusz just stared at the cabinet. Charlie had been so close to using it. So close to destroying them all. But he hadn't. But he could've. The voices wouldn't stop, telling Matteusz that it was wrong to love someone who had come so close to committing genocide. But he wouldn't listen to them. He felt someone stand behind him, and wrap their arms around his middle. Matteusz sagged in Charlie's arms, a stray tear slipping down his cheek. He curled his hands around Charlie's, and felt the other boy snuggle further into his back.
'And all I can taste is this moment,
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over.'
"You nearly did it." Matteusz whispered it, and Charlie immediately tensed. "I didn't want too. I was being forced." Matteusz nodded, and turned in Charlie's arms. "I know." Matteusz nodded. "But you would have done it, wouldn't you?" Charlie looked down and nodded. "Yes." He looked ashamed, and Matteusz saw a tear drop to the floor. Charlie was crying too.
'And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,
Or the moment of truth in your lies.'
"Charlie..." Charlie shook his head, taking a step back fro Matteusz. That hurt, but Matteusz let him. "You're right Matteusz. I would've done it. I would've committed...genocide. Wether it was the petals or the Shadow Kin, one race would've died." His breathing became laboured, and he looked at Matteusz with eyes full of pure pain. "And I would've lost you."
'And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's meant to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.'
"And that would've been unbearable, Matteusz." Matteusz stepped forward to put his arms around Charlie. "You will never lose me, Charlie. Never." Matteusz raised Charlie's chin with his fingers, to look him in the eyes. "Because I am me. And YOU are a part of me. Forever. No matter what you do, or who you kill. You are the only one for me. Okay? Understand?" Matteusz waited until Charlie nodded, and then bought him in for a light kiss. "Don't cry. Please." Charlie smiled slightly, and nuzzled Matteusz's collarbone. "Did you mean it?" Matteusz nodded. "I do not care that you would do it. I care how it would affect you. I love you." Charlie snuggled into him, tears drying slowly. "I would've done it. But you stopped me. Thank you." Matteusz nodded, kissing the top of Charlie's head. "You are lost and I will find you. We are each other. I will always be here. For you."
When they went to bed that night, they clung to each other slightly tighter. They knew who they were now. They were each other, they needed each other to live. Because they were in love.
Soulmates.
But they didn't know that. Not yet. But they will.