Claire Wheeler seemed like she had it all, she was president of the Greek Coucil at Monsters Univerisity, she was dating the most popular guy in school Brock Pearson. Yet, she was still unhappy. She was always depressed, but no one could figure out why. Other than the fact that Claire never really had a childhood, was only one of the factors that led her to her chronic depression. She didn't have much friends other than her boyfriend Brock. She was not much a social person so she never made an attempt to make friends. She was into college though she was finally getting accepted in life she thought of it as her escape. Everyday was a struggle for Claire, she wasn't the prettiest, the most talented or even the smartest and it took a toll on her self-esteem. She loved her boyfriend Brock; however, she felt like she didn't deserve a boyfriend. She detested girls like Carrie Williams and Brittany Davis because they were always so "annoying and too high-maintenance" as she would put it.
Claire would spend most of her nights listening to screamo music in the dark and smoke her bong. She would do this alone, no one knew about this not even her boyfriend. She would do this in hiding because she didn't want to ruin her reputation amongst the college. She filled her bong with cannabis and other illegal drugs that she could find. Every night she would get high on these drugs and forget about her problems for a while. She knew it was bad for her but she didn't care the drugs were consuming her life. Instead of trying to get help, she'd rather get high off ofillegal drugs that made her happy temporarily.
She would cry herself to sleep every night becaue she was so fed up with her life. What was a girl to do? She was abused for most of her childhood and now she is older and supposed to take on the responsibilities of an adult. She stopped talking to her parents at the age of twelve and ran away. She was homeless until she was taken into custody by monster child services.
"STOP IT! STOP HURTING ME"! She sobbed in her sleep while she had recurring nightmares. She would lie awake just to not have nightmares anymore. Every night was a struggle, her nightmares were just like bad memories of her abusive childhood part of the reasons she would stay awake and get high than try and sleep. "Make it go away..." she cried. "MAKE IT STOP"! she screamed.
"Claire"? A voice came from the hallway of the dorms. "LEAVE ME ALONE"! she screamed through the tears. But the voice on the other side wouldn't back down. "Claire, what happened"? the mysterious voice asked. "Nothing" she replied. "Let me in" the mysterious voice requested. Claire went to the door and opened it. Rosie Levin from Eta Hiss Hiss came to the door "What are you doing at my door"? Claire asked. "You were screaming. I wanted to know what happened". Rosie replied. "Nothing, it was just a bad dream". Claire replied unemotionally. "Are you sure it was just a bad dream? Because I hear you every night now". Rosie asked while stating. "I'm fine" Claire lied.
The next morning, Claire hid all of her drug paraphernalia and got ready to face another day. She put on her skirt,her black lace up combat boots, and her "MU" letterman jacket since she was Greek Council president after all. She put on heavy eyeliner on eyes and dark grey eyeshadow. She pulled her purple hair back in a small ponytail, grabbed her things, and headed for her first class of the day.
"Hey look its Claire"! Another student exclaimed while she was walking to her class. "They know my name. Great". She said to herself. "Hey Claire, what can I do to join a sorority"? An eager freshman raced up to her with such enthusiasm that Claire was blown away. "There is several, find one that fits you the best and ask them if you can join". Claire responded "Really it's that easy"? the student asks Claire. "Well pretty much, but you have to wait until Rush Week that's when they are recruiting". Claire responded. "Awesome, when is rush week"? the student asks. "You missed it this semester but next semester it's March 15th-21st". Claire informed her "Okay thanks so much"! The eager student exclaimed "Your very welcome, but I would suggest visiting the houses first, you know, see which one fits you best". Claire responded "Thanks so much, I heard so much about you. They told me to come to you about joining a sorority" The student stated. "Who told you"?! Claire asked with irritability. "Other students, they told me to either talk to you or Brock but you were the first one I saw". The student responded. 'Oh I know because I'm so popular" Claire replied with irony and rolled her eyes. "You must be, because everyone talks about you". The student replied. "Well, it was nice talking to you I must be getting to class". The student stated. "Yeah me too, nice to meet you. Good Day." Claire replied.
Finally, Claire walked into her anthropology class "Good morning Ms. Wheeler" the professor greeted her before she took her seat. "Hello" she greeted him unenthusiastically. "Well now that everyone is here and that I have taken attendance we shall begin our lesson". The professor began talking; however, his words were drowned out by the hallucinations Claire was experiencing. "Stop it"! Claire abruptly shouted in the middle of the lecture. The entire class looked at her like she was crazy. "LEAVE ME ALONE"! she shouted. Suddenly, the class was interupted by Claire's sudden and unexplainable outbursts. "Are you okay"? one of the students asked "Go Away! I HATE YOU"! Claire responded. "I am only trying to help"! one of the students exclaimed "I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP! GO AWAYYYY". Claire screamed and forced herself away from anyone's grasp.
~Claire's Point of View~
Everything faded to black. Was I dying? Was this what it felt like to die? Nothing in this world or the other world would help me escape my past. Was this how it was supposed to end? I was abusing recreational drugs and this is how I paid for it. I wanted most was what everyone else saw me on the outside, a happy monster that had it all. But everyday I put on a show and pretend that I am fine when I am really not. A scarring past that leaves me the emotional wreck that I am now. I am NOT fine. Why am I not able to accept that? Why can't I be open to anyone about my life? I am too fucking afraid of ruining my reputation at the college that I have led other monsters to believe I had everything. If I was dying my last wish is for Brock to carry on without me, he will be sad but I don't want him to mourn over me. I deserve to die. I brought this all on myself. I am worthless just like my fucking parents told me. Leave me alone to die. I hope no one comes to my funeral. What was happening to me? I was for sure dying. This was peaceful. Not painful, like most of my living days were. Lights were surrounding my face when I beginning to gain consciousness again. Where was I? I begin to ask myself questions that I couldn't wrap my head around. This wasn't heaven and I wasn't dying. I was in a hospital for hell's sake. Why did they even bother? I wasn't even worth saving.
"What happened?! Can anyone give me a fucking answer"?! I asked frustrated at my state-of-being. "Shh" I felt a claw like finger touch my lips. "Claire you were hallucinating then they had to sedate you because you were going nutso". Brock reminded her of the events that led her to this point. "Gee thanks, now everyone in school is going to think I am crazy". I replied still confused at everything. Due to the sedating I was still unaware of everything. "At least you are okay". Brock reassured me that I was going to be fine. "I'm not okay Brock". I replied. "What do you mean you are not okay Claire? You are alive"! Brock asked in shock. "I don't deserve to be alive. I am stupid." I replied bluntly. "Claire, don't be so hard on yourself". Brock said as he tried to comfort me. But nothing he could say or do was making matters better. I was afraid and alone. "If it was your time to leave this world you would have, but you didn't, you woke up and you're talking to me". Brock continued to prove his case. "Yeah, so I've done some things that I am not proud of". I continued. "What do you mean? You are stupendous!" Brock continued to compliment me when all I wanted to do was die in a hole. "You can't say that you don't know my story, you only know what is seen on the outside". I tried to explain to him but he didn't listen to me. "What are you talking about"? Brock asked "I'm a good actress, Brock" I replied without revealing too much. "Well you should join the drama club" Brock teased. "I'm not joking! This whole time I made everyone believe I was fine when I really wasn't". I cried. I was desperate. "Well then, can you tell me what is going on"? Brock asked like the good boyfriend he is. "You won't understand". I replied. "Try me". Brock continued. "I had a dark past. I didn't really have a childhood if you want to call it that. My "parents" would abuse me and call me worthless and say mean things about me that I can't move past. I have nightmares about it each night". I explained. "Claire, that's enough what's in the past, is in the past don't let it ruin your future". Brock tried to explain. "Not when you are having nightmares about it each night, you struggle with it each day, you sit in your room and get high to take away the pain"! I cried. Broke was taken aback at my response. I couldn't tell whether he was angry or betrayed. He had every right to be angry with me, hell this whole college does. They all had faith in me when I never had any faith in myself.
"Why do you do this to yourself"? Brock asked. "Which one. The nightmares or Sitting in my room at night getting high"? I asked. "Sitting in your room getting high"! Brock replied aggravated with my recent actions. "It takes away the pain, It keeps me awake when I don't want to sleep. I get high just to not have nightmares". I replied "So you rather have serious hallucinations and wind up in a hospital than have a nightmare"? Brock asked truly upset with me. "I guess so, but I am not proud of my actions". I replied. I cried at the thought of the entire school finding out. About how everyone would be upset with me. About how it would wind up in the school newspaper's front page. "They can't find out"! I cried "Claire, you have to come clean about everything, they will be upset yes, but you need to show them that they can trust you again". Brock explained. "I guess so". I agreed.