A/N - Compared to all the time taken when Usagi transforms into Sailor Moon, Setsuna just kinda whips that sand round and boom, Sailor Pluto. So I thought, what's she hiding? What I ended up with is miles away from what I was actually going to write, but I'm quite pleased with how it turned out. If you enjoy it, or have any comments so I can improve next time, please let me know!
I don't own Sailor Moon, but I do own this story.
It wasn't until after things started settling down, and they were just hanging about waiting for Crystal Tokyo to arrive, that Michiru dedicated some time to something that had been niggling her for a while.
The past few years had gone by in a whirlwind; the dark lonely days of fighting by herself before Uranus awoke, the struggles they had finding the talismans, Mistress 9 and the Death Busters, the arrival of Dead Moon Circus, culminating in all that drama with Galaxia. There were still some nights where she woke up in a cold sweat, half expecting a youma to burst in through the window and devour her. She would bury her face into Haruka's neck and let strong arms envelop her, surrounding herself with the warm, spicy scent of her lover. Michiru always felt a little bit silly about it when they woke up the next morning, but Haruka never made fun, she only reassured.
All their struggles were in the past now, and they could turn their attention back to themselves for a while. That made them sound a little selfish, but the four Outers had suddenly turned into a family, and families needed time spending on them otherwise they would fall apart at the seams. Neither she nor Haruka had a particularly positive childhood, and conversations with parents were few and far between. Setsuna had spent the past millennium guarding the Door of Space-Time, with only her lonely self for company. The three of them had no idea how to function as part of a family.
That all changed when they adopted Hotaru. Each of them was determined to shower the little girl with all the warmth and love they had, to never let her feel as lonely as they did as children. It had the effect of making them even more in tune with each other as well. Michiru and Haruka were already close, naturally, but when they really started to get to know Setsuna, they were a little startled at just how much they liked and cared for her. Despite her lack of human contact for centuries, the green-haired woman was charming, witty and seemed to know just what to say in any given situation. Hotaru and Chibiusa worshipped the ground she walked on, and the other Inners had commented on how well the four of them got on. Minako took it one step further, smirking and asking whether the three of them were engaged in a melange en trois (Michiru strongly suspected she meant mѐnage á trois, a love triangle, but smiled mysteriously and said 'ara' in response, before changing the subject).
Yes, she did truly care for Setsuna, which is why she was a little surprised that it had taken her all this time to notice the change the Senshi of time had made. It was subtle, certainly, but it was still there and Michiru worried that it might be symptomatic of a bigger problem.
It was a weekday evening, and all four Outers were at home, relaxing after their long days. Michiru wandered into the living room to find Haruka, who was sprawled across the sofa reading a book. She treated herself to a few seconds of just watching her lover; her long willowy limbs, her tousled blonde hair falling over the sofa cushion, the way her chest rose and fell gentle with every breath. She saw Haruka's eyes flicker towards the doorway, and a small smirk let her know that she had been caught staring.
"Are you going to stare at me all evening, or are you going to come and give me a kiss," Haruka said in her husky tones.
Michiru sauntered over and gave her an upside-down kiss on the lips, before lifting Haruka's legs up and settling herself onto the sofa, replacing her legs and running her hands gently up and down them. Haruka put her book down and folded her arms behind her head, enjoying the attention Michiru was giving her, but not missing the distracted look in her eyes.
"Is everything alright, koi?"
Michiru smiled gently in return, and decided to share what was on her mind. "Haruka, have you seen Setsuna recently?"
The blonde furrowed her brow slightly, surprised that the source of Michiru's agitation was something so mundane. "Setsuna? She's in her room, I think."
"No, that's not what I meant," Michiru trailed off, struggling to put into words what she wanted to say. "Have you seen her recently? I mean, don't you think she's become a bit shy, body shy?"
Haruka frowned at her. "Body shy?"
"Yes. Like she always seems to have a long sleeved shirt on, regardless of the weather or the time of day. And I know I've seen her flinch if I go into her room without announcing myself first."
Haruka shrugged her shoulders. "She is entitled to her own space without having to worry about someone bursting in every five minutes."
"It's not every five minutes." Michiru rolled her eyes at her partner's flippancy. "Besides, haven't you noticed how even her transformation is different to everyone else's? No one, especially the Inners, has a problem with dematerialising their clothes and dancing round dramatically for quite a long time until their fuku rematerializes. Setsuna just whips that wall of sand up around herself and next thing you know, Sailor Pluto is standing there."
Haruka grinned lasciviously. "Maybe she takes the extra time to watch everyone else transform."
Michiru slapped her leg out of frustration. "Haruka! I'm really worried about her." She bit her lip, wondering whether she should voice her real fear. "She's been alone all her life. What if living with us and Hotaru, making noise and creating clutter, what if it's all too much for her." Haruka had her eyes fixed on her, allowing Michiru to continue. "Stress can manifest itself in many ways. What if we're driving her to hurt herself in some way, and she can't cope with it.
Haruka could see that this was really bothering Michiru so she pulled herself into an upright position and put her arm around her, allowing the aquanette to nestle comfortably into her body. "You think she is self-harming, or suffers from body dysmorphic disorder or some such?"
She could feel Michiru shrug her shoulders and mumble her reply into her shirt. "I don't know if it's that bad, but there is definitely something bothering her about her body and I want to help."
Haruka loved her green-haired roommate like a sister, but even if she didn't she couldn't stand to see Michiru upset about something that had an easy solution. She made her way to her feet, pulling Michiru with her. "Why don't we just go and ask her?"
"I don't want to put her on the spot."
"We wouldn't be putting her on the spot Michi. We're family and we love her and we want to help her. If we can help her by asking her about it, then I think we should." Haruka was making her way towards the staircase as she said this, and once she was finished she waited for Michiru to respond. The aquanette thought for a moment before realising that her lover was right. She glided across the hallway towards her, pecking her quickly on the cheek before climbing the stairs past her.
"You're right as always koi. Let's go."
The pair stood outside Setsuna's room, Haruka with her fist raised in mid-air to knock. She glanced at Michiru next to her, who merely nodded once, before bringing her fist down and rapping thrice in quick succession.
"Door's open," came a soft voice from inside.
Haruka opened the door and allowed Michiru to walk by before following her in and shutting the door behind them. She didn't want Hotaru to come in and overhear something that might upset her.
Setsuna was sitting at her desk, laptop screen flickering, open books and leaves of papers littering the surface. She removed her reading glasses when the pair came in, and gave them both a smile. When she saw that they seemed content to stand awkwardly by the door, mustering up the courage to say what they came in to say, she raised an eyebrow.
"You two don't have to stand on ceremony, you know. Do make yourselves comfortable."
Haruka and Michiru flushed slightly at the admonishment, and moved to sit on the end of the bed, leaving a large gap in the middle.
Setsuna frowned at this odd behaviour. They were both acting out of character, and it was highly unusual for either of them to choose to sit separately. Normally it took a crowbar to create some daylight between their bodies.
"Is everything alright?" she asked tentatively, not sure if she really wanted to know the answer.
The pair glanced at each other before Michiru turned back towards Setsuna and said "actually, that's what we wanted to ask you."
Setsuna blinked in surprise. "Me? What do you mean?"
"We wanted to check that nothing was bothering you. You've been actually a little…out of the ordinary, recently." Michiru patted the bed next to her, indicating that she wanted Setsuna to sit down. Setsuna relaxed slightly, the irrational thought that Haruka and Michiru were breaking up leaving almost as soon as it arrived. She sat in between her two roommates, allowing each of them to take one of her hands in both of their own, even if she wasn't sure why.
"You know we love you, right, Sets?" began Haruka from her right-hand side.
"And that we only want you to be happy," said Michiru from the left.
"If anything is bothering you, you can talk to us-"
"If we said something, or did something wrong, we apologise-"
"It must be hard, coming from the Time gates and having to live with three other people-"
"We didn't mean to upset you-"
"We don't want you to hurt-"
Their rambling was cut off by Setsuna suddenly standing up and turning round to face them. She had no idea what had driven the other two women to start talking like this. "Guys, I love you too, but what are you talking about?"
Haruka and Michiru fell silent, mindful of trying to avoid saying something insensitive. Michiru laced her fingers together in her lap and fiddled with them, whilst Haruka rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly.
"Guys?"
Time to bite the bullet. Michiru took a deep breath. "Setsuna…" she reached for her roommate, tugging her gently back down so she was sitting once more. "Setsuna…are you unhappy with yourself?"
Setsuna was confused. "Unhappy with myself? What do you mean?"
Michiru fixed her eyes on their once-again entwined hands, talking to them instead of Setsuna. "It's just that we…well, I, have noticed that you've become a bit…wary recently, especially when it comes to showing your body-" she paused briefly when she felt Setsuna flinch next to her and continued more confidently, sure that she was on the right track, "and we wanted you to know that we're here for you." She turned her big, wide eyes to Setsuna's garnet orbs. "If living with us is upsetting you, we can change. You don't have to hide yourself away," she said, with a note of desperation.
Setsuna pulled Michiru into a warm hug, holding the younger girl closely against her for a few moments before pulling back and locking their eyes again. "Michiru, listen to me. I love living with you, I do. And I don't have body image problems."
Haruka spoke up from the other side. "Michi is right, though. Your transformation sequence is very understated, compared to say, Usagi-chan. And you have been dressing more conservatively recently." She flashed a grin. "You have a nice body, Setsuna, you should show it off."
Michiru winked in agreement at her from behind Setsuna, who had turned round to face Haruka. Setsuna was suddenly looking a bit wary, and Haruka immediately started doing damage control, fearful that her comment was taken the wrong way.
"Ah, not that there's anything wrong with the way you dress Sets, you always look nice. And you don't need to show your body off if you don't want to. Honestly, I didn't mean to suggest anything…" she trailed off, unsure of what to say.
Setsuna smiled wanly, hanging her head as she did. "I know, Haruka. I'm not upset about that." She took a deep breath. "The truth is…the truth is I did a stupid thing and now I'm worried what people will think if they found out."
Haruka and Michiru exchanged glances. This was it.
"Setsuna, anything you say now, it won't change how we feel about you. You're family, we love you," Michiru promised.
Setsuna looked at her with watery eyes. "You really mean that?"
"Of course," said Haruka, patting her on the knee.
Setsuna turned her face back towards her lap and mumbled something into her chest.
"Sweetheart, we can't hear you, what did you say?" said Michiru kindly.
Instead of repeating herself, Setsuna once again stood up, this time keeping her back towards Haruka and Michiru. She grabbed the hem of her black, long-sleeved top and pulled it slowly over her head and let it fall to the floor. Her back was mostly obscured by her hair, but the two girls could see part of a crimson bra strap and flashes of black through the strands. Setsuna turned her head towards them and said "I got a tattoo."
When she didn't get an immediate response, she turned back round to face them fully, self-consciously covering herself with her arms, watching Haruka and Michiru blink at her in confusion. Whatever they were expecting her to say, that wasn't it.
Still feeling awkward, Setsuna tried to fill the silence. "After all the Senshi awoke and we started to work together, really work together as a team…I don't know, I guess I felt at home. Like I belonged. And the four of us moved here and it was like we were a family, a real family…" her voice started to crack with emotion, tears welled up in her eyes but the floodgates were open and she was unable to stop. "I was happy for the first time in a long time and I wanted to always be reminded of that feeling, so I went downtown and got a tattoo. Then I started worrying that you wouldn't like it, or think I was silly, so I didn't tell you, and I now I wish I hadn't got the stupid thing in the first place." The tears were falling silently down her face down, and she was huddled in on herself, waiting for a reaction.
Michiru got up and threw her arms around Setsuna, closely followed by Haruka, and they squeezed their roommate tightly, trying to convey their love through touch.
"Of course we don't think you're stupid-"
"-think a tattoo is a wonderful reminder-"
"-are a real family-"
"We love you Setsuna."
At this final remark Setsuna collapsed to her knees, sobbing uncontrollably, the other two falling with her, stroking her head and back and whispering soothing things in her ears.
It took several minutes for them to regain their composure. Haruka and Michiru disentangled themselves and leant back against the bed to give Setsuna some space. She took several deep breaths, anticipating that her roommates would want to see the tattoo sooner or later, and turned around on her knees. She gently swept up her long green hair, exposing her back and shoulders.
Across her left shoulder blade was the kanji for family in bold black. Interlaced through it were all the Outers names in elegant flowing script, each inked in their Senshi colour; gold for Haruka, turquoise for Michiru, purple for Hotaru and green for Setsuna. The guardian of Time held her breath, waiting for a response.
"That's…" began Haruka.
"…quite sweet actually," finished Michiru.
Setsuna was stunned. "What?"
"It's a nice tattoo" continued the aquanette. "Is that really what's been bothering you?"
Setsuna turned back around and stared in disbelief. "Well…yes. I thought you might think I was being daft. Or you didn't feel the same way about us as a family. I use the sands of time when I transform because they hide my back. And the long tops cover my shoulders…" She trailed off, feeling embarrassed again.
Haruka rolled her eyes "Of course we're a family Setsuna! We keep telling you we love you, right?"
"Well…yes…"
"There you are then! And it's true!" She reached forward and clipped Setsuna across the back of the head.
"Ow!"
"That's for making Michiru worry. She thought you were self-harming, not that you decided to get inked!" Setsuna rubbed her head and gave Michiru an apologetic smile. She in turn shook her head to indicate it didn't matter.
"I'm just glad you're alright Sets. Hopefully you'll become a bit more flamboyant now, ne? Haruka was right, you do have a nice body" she said, smirking, running her eyes appreciatively over mocha-coloured skin.
As Setsuna protested, and Haruka and Michiru laughed, Hotaru peeked her head in from around the doorframe, wondering where her parents were. Haruka, who was closest to her, grabbed her and pulled her towards them, squealing in delight. Setsuna leant in to tickle the soles of her feet, and Michiru did the same to Haruka's sides. Peals of delight and laughter rang through the house. For a long time after, the only sounds that could be heard were the happy, playful noises of a family that loved each other dearly.