Guideline for surviving life at Akatsuki

by AkatsukiRockz

Captive turned forced member/maid of Akatsuki writes a list of rules for anyone else who is taken in to follow should she not be around to tell them herself. Rated T for future chapters. Sorry about the bad summary.

1. Rules 1 to 10

Guidelines for surviving life at Akatsuki 1-10

I do not own Naruto or Akatsuki. All ownership goes to Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo. Inspired by Jazzi Flynn and Tatyana Witwicky (awesome writers).

1) Do not come up with stupid nicknames for the members
(being held captive has advantages...or maybe the thought of Kisame's cooking)
-Deidara: barbie
-Tobi: lollipop guild
-Kisame: radioactive sushi bar
-Zetsu: lily
-Leader: Geisha (don't ask)

2) Do not assign theme songs to members
-Man, I feel like a woman (cant even sing it any more cause Deidara goes crazy)
-I'm blue (hehe never thought Kisame had that much self control)
-I feel pretty (Hidan made the mistake of listening to me sing the first half of the song and then started singing about himself...until I told everyone but him the rest of the lyrics and he didn't get why everyone was snickering)

3) Never EVER chase Zetsu around with a container labeled "Weed Killer"
(while amusing as this is to watch when he realizes that its just water you're on your own)

4) Pick pocketing Kakuzu is also not a good idea
(managed to survive only due to the fact that Leader dragged him off for a mission)

5) NEVER any candy onto the Akatsuki base
(he's hyper enough as it is, no matter where you hide it he will find it and then all hell will break loose)

6) Anything involving fire is to be given to Leader immediately especially if it's Deidara
(Leader is tired of having to find new bases every time you blow up one)

7) Do not go into any member's room and wake them up with a blow horn

8) No pranking other member including:
-hand in warm water
-drawing pictures on others faces when they are passed out from drinking
-"1-2-4" pig prank has already been done
-etc

9) All super glue is to be given to Leader or Sasori
(NO exceptions)
(Hidan learned this the hard way. Kakuzu was amused when he found Hidan's head in the oven)

10) Do not try to braid any of the other member's hair, no matter how long it is
(thought Deidara was going to kill me when he woke up with braids)

Not the best but w/e. Review please ^^