I did a little something. Inspired by that viral video of the guy coming out of surgery, still being partially anesthetized when he sees a beautiful woman he doesn't recognize, and he can't believe he's married to her. If you haven't seen it, you must, it's really cute.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the doctor.
Is This Real Life?
by HappyValentina
"Ugh, I feel... I feel dizzy..."
"I already called the doctor. She should be here soon. Drink your water, but slowly."
"Uhhh my throat is really dry..."
"I know, sweetie, that's why I got you the water."
Blaine looked up drowsily at the phone Kurt was holding.
"What happened?" he asked in the groggy voice, words slurring together.
"You fell and broke your arm, and you had to have surgery to fix it. Apparently all went well."
Kurt readjusted the phone in his hand, still recording. He thought it would be a good idea to film the whole thing, especially the painful recovery from the surgery, to make sure Blaine could watch it in the future if he got the brilliant idea again of trying to do tricks on his bike at Central Park.
Blaine blinked at him. He looked adorable with his messy hair, heavy lids and slack jaw. "Whoa..."
"You don't remember, honey?" Kurt asked concernedly. It took Blaine a moment to form a sentence.
"You're... you're a nurse here?"
Kurt looked a little puzzled but smiled anyway. "Um, no, I'm not," he replied endearingly. He guessed it was normal for patients to wake up from surgery feeling a little disoriented.
"Oh... are you a doctor?" Blaine mumbled, still staring blankly.
"Mmmno, I'm not a doctor either," Kurt said. If this kept going like this, Kurt would be very tempted to share the video with their family and friends. Possibly the internet.
Blaine took a tiny sip of water. "Then... I don't... you... you're... whoa..."
Kurt held back a chuckle. "It's okay, Blaine, it's just the anesthetics that haven't worn off completely. You're a bit fuzzy. It'll go away in a little while."
Blaine was staring at him again. "You're... the most beautiful man I've ever seen."
Kurt blushed brightly and laughed. "Oh well, thank you," he said. "Drink your water." Blaine did as he was told while still looking curiously at Kurt.
"Do I know you?" Kurt laughed again; he guessed he should just go with it.
"Well yes, yes you do. My name is Kurt and-"
"Kurt. What a great name," Blaine said with a dopey grin.
"Yes, thank you. And I'm your husband."
The way that Blaine's clouded eyes widened was priceless.
"What?" he exclaimed breathlessly, lifting his head from the pillow. "You're my husband?"
Kurt was laughing by now. "Yes, Blaine."
"Oh my god, we're married?"
"Well yes, that's what I meant by 'husband'."
Blaine rubbed his face with his good hand. "Oh my god... oh my god, are you serious?"
"Yeah."
"Oh my god... oh my god... this is amazing. I can't... you're married to me... you... oh my god, you're so beautiful, I can't believe it..." His voice was muffled by his hand over his face.
"Thank you," Kurt replied, still blushing. He looked around the recovery room; there were only two other patients and they were still sedated, but that didn't keep him from feeling very self-conscious.
Blaine wasn't quite done with expressing his astonishment.
"And... and... oh my god... how long have we been married?"
"For a few years."
"Oh my god... I can't believe it... oh wow..."
"Drink your water, sweetie. The doctor will be here soon."
"It's just... I can't... oh my god... so we... we have sex and everything?"
Kurt turned bright red with embarrassment, because Blaine said that louder than anything else he had said so far. "Ahem, yes, Blaine. But we'll talk about that later, okay? Er, there are nurses and other patients here," he answered as quietly as possible.
"Oh my god. I hit the jackpot. I can't believe it," Blaine said to himself, a little quieter.
"Drink your water." Kurt wasn't sure if he should continue filming, if this was too embarrassing. Blaine was suddenly trying to reach toward him with the good hand holding the water and he nearly spilled it.
"Wait, can I see your face? Put the camera down for a moment, can I see your face?"
"Okay," Kurt shrugged, lowering the camera and looking at his husband. Blaine got the stupidest smile on his face. "Oh wow, you have the most amazing eyes I have ever seen... and and and your lips and your... I don't even know... how I landed someone as beautiful as you."
"That's very sweet," Kurt shrugged again. "But, you know, I consider myself pretty lucky as well."
Blaine shook his head slowly. "Nuh-uh, no... no way... Not in a million years could I have... I mean, I dream about guys like you. Or used to... I guess..."
"Oh okay."
Blaine's eyes suddenly trailed downward and Kurt blushed again. He still did, whenever Blaine looked at him, but now he was particularly aware of it.
"Could you turn around?"
"Haha, no. What? Blaine-" Kurt giggled nervously. Blaine was staring him up and down.
"Uh your legs go on forever... you're so hot. I have a hot husband..."
"Sweetie, just drink your water," Kurt said, willing his face to cool down.
"Okay. Sorry... it's just... you're not real. You can't be..."
"Well, I am."
There was a silence. Blaine laid his head back on the pillow and tried to drink water, but the angle made it difficult. Kurt straightened his pillow a little more, and Blaine watched him as he did.
"And... and... and do you love me?"
Kurt's face split into the biggest smile yet. "Yes, Blaine. I do. I love you with all my heart."
"That's amazing. That's..." Suddenly Blaine was visibly annoyed by the fuzziness. Kurt petted his hair.
"Relax, sweetie. As soon as the anesthetics wear off, you'll feel better, and you'll remember everything. Although I have to admit, this has been fun."
The doctor walked in just then, smiling at them. "How're we doing, Blaine? Still feeling drowsy?"
"Are you the doctor?" Blaine asked.
"Yes, I'm doctor Lis-"
"Doctor, look! I'm married! To a really hot guy! Isn't he the most beautiful man you have ever seen?"
Dr Lisbeth smiled amusedly. Kurt turned bright red. "You don't have to answer that," he said, mortified.
Dr Lisbeth grinned at Blaine. "Yes he is, he's very handsome. You're very lucky," she said. "Well, the surgery went very well, you'll remain here in recovery for at least another hour, and then they'll take you up to your room, okay? And I'll see you again later tonight."
She went off to check on another patient. Blaine finally looked down at his bandaged arm, at the blue sling holding it in place. But he took another sip of water and shook his head.
"This is amazing. This is the most amazing day. I'm married. And my husband's super hot."
He seemed to have forgotten that Kurt was still there, filming him. Kurt smiled bashfully.
"My husband's super hot too," he said mostly to himself. Blaine's eyes seemed lost in the distance.
"I get to kiss the most beautiful man on Earth... I can't wait to get out of here and go home with him."
Kurt bit his lip, his face hurting from the gigantic smile he was trying to contain. He wasn't exactly looking forward to poor Blaine struggling to get around and do things with only one arm for however long it'd take his arm to get well; but with this revelation today, Kurt thought Blaine had more than earned some very special treatment from his exceedingly flattered husband.
"Yeah, me neither," he answered, switching off the camera on his phone.
Back to regular programming. Namely that fic I started ages ago that I should've finished by now, in which Klaine actually get married.
I need it to be September 26 NOW NOW NOW.
-Vale.