A/N: Strong Language, disturbing and adult scenes. Alternate version of The original version of "Love the way you lie" by Skylar Grey. Fasting-either not eating and drinking for a certain period of time.
"On the first page of our story
The future seemed so bright"
"Clay, don't be silly"
"Daddy who is she? Why is she here?"
"I need to talk to her son...about business" Daddy said.
"You mean the stuff we do?" Clay asked.
"No, never...we've gotta keep that to ourselves...it has to be our secret" Clay nodded relieved. He wanted Daddy's attention and wasn't going to see him tonight with a woman downstairs. She was angry overweight. Her stomach was huge but her legs were stick thin. She kept on asking for food, demanding Daddy to get a cushion or move the table to put her feet up. Clay could hear it and wanted to tell her to leave, but she was Daddy's guest, not his.
"When I get rid of her, I show you our next girl, it'll cheer you up" Daddy said ruffling his hair. Clay hung onto that hope as Daddy went downstairs. As long as Daddy wanted girls, Clay would always need to help him. He'd dream about scoping with Daddy, bringing the girl, the catch he wanted the most and dropping her at his feet. Daddy would be proud of him.
"Then the saint turned out so evil
I don't know why I'm still surprised"
"Lisa I don't have that type of money" Daddy yelled through the phone. Clay came through the door but had been listening outside. He rubbed Daddy's shoulders and leaned on his back. Daddy elbowed him off and Clay got up and stood until Daddy told him to do otherwise. "Yeah well Lisa you can shove that bullshit up your ass" Daddy said as he slammed the phone down and tapped his forehead with his thumb. "Clay...I just wanna get her so bad" "Daddy you know we can't" Clay said.
"Don't you wanna see Eric?" Daddy asked. "You want a little brother don't you?" He asked. Clay silently nodded, but a little brother was his worst nightmare. Eric was Daddy's real son. Clay could never compete with that. Even thinking about it made him sick. He could see Daddy moving out of his life for good with a perfect baby son. An ex wife that secretly wanted him back. Clay wouldn't give up that easily. Eric couldn't be part of Daddy's life right now. Clay would make sure of it.
"Even angels have their wicked schemes
But you take that to new extremes"
Son...get me something to eat. A cheese-burger or something. I want grease" Clay was surprised but Lisa had put Daddy in such a bad mood he could understand the order. Clay grabbed his jacket and headed outside. It was the wrong jacket to get. Daddy had peed on it as a punishment and it stank. He walked into the fast food place and stood back away from the counter to tell the cashier his order. "The Double cheese-burger Deluxe meal" Please"Clay said politely.
He could hear sniggers in the background. "Get out you stink!" one of them yelled. He was going to stay there until teenage girls starting throwing chips and straws and him. By the time he was out the door, the meal in a bag on the counter. "Shit" Clay whispered wondering how he was going to tell Daddy about the meal. Maybe he could got somewhere else to get it, but he had no money...
"I think this is yours" A guy said thrusting a paper bag in his face. Clay looked at it, took it and opened it. Daddy's meal was there still hot and untouched. "Thanks" Clay said. "My friends were dicks...you okay?" He asked. "Yeah...I've gotta go" Clay said running off in the opposite direction. He thanked the kid, what more did he want? Clay couldn't pay him, he had no idea who he was, that guy could have cornered him and beat the crap out of him. Clay did the right thing. That's what he told himself anyway.
"But you'll always be my hero
Even though you've lost your mind"
"There you go Daddy" Clay said placing the bag on the table. "What took you so long son?" Daddy asked. "I was so hungry I had toast" Clay gulped. Daddy didn't have to say it. He knew what he had to do. "Hands for ten minutes Clay" Daddy said. Clay wandered into the kitchen walking toward the toaster Daddy had used. It was still on for his benefit. Clay placed his hands over the toaster, the heat prickling his palms. Turning his hands over, and back again he could slowly feel the blisters, the feeling was so familiar Clay told himself that it didn't hurt as much this time.
"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts"
After ten minutes were up Clay turned around to see Daddy checking on him. Clay walked over to the sink cringing as he opened his fingers to turn the tap on. "Clay come here I've got a surprise for you son" Daddy said. Clay leaned over to turn the tap off. His stick almost sticking to the steel. "For you son" Daddy said chucking the bag at Clay. "Oh thanks" Clay said looking at the ice-bag. It was nice of Daddy to buy that present. His burns and scolds would heal quicker. Daddy was always thinking of him.
Daddy was now going back to being healthy. He gave Clay a half hour break before asking him to go to the herbal health store to get soup and dried berries and soya milk. Clay hated soya, but if Daddy knew he didn't like it, he'd make him drink it everyday. He walked to the store getting the berries before walking to the milk section. He put his hand on the refrigerator panel and sighed deeply. His hands still hurt like hell. "What you doing?" Someone asked. "Nothing...I hurt my hand" Clay said opening it carefully and walking away.
"Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you die"
"Ummm...here's your milk" The guy said passing it to him. Clay took it noticing he was the same guy that gave him Daddy's meal back. "Your hand looks like shit" The guy said pointing . "Thanks" Clay said. He walked down the aisle to get Daddy's packets of soup. The guy stood in the queue behind him. "You know...do you want a bandage or something?. The guy asked "I've got an ice-bag in my room" Clay said proudly. "Dude, you've gotta keep it in the freezer. "I've got one frozen" The guy said shrugging.
Clay called Daddy, saying that he couldn't find the milk that he wanted and was going to the store further in town. "Okay" Daddy said as he ended the call. He followed the guy to his house. Clay knew that it was a weird thing to do, but as long as his hands stopped burning that was all he cared about. The guy told him to sit down on the sofa. "I'm Nate" The guy said randomly. "Hi...Nate" Clay repeated. His hands desperate for the blocks of ice that he could hear Nate scrapping on the freezer drawer.
"I love the way you sigh
I love the way you sigh"
"Here" Nate said putting the bag gently on Clay's hand. "Wow" Clay said. He rested both palms on the bag breathing a deep guttural sigh as his fingers became numb. Nate raised his eyebrows briefly. "This feels great" Clay said. "You want it back?" He asked. "Nah...take it home" Nate said. Nate turned on the TV as Clay heard a key turn in the lock. He turned around then back again, he didn't want this person thinking he was being nosey. Daddy hated that.
"Hey" Nate said getting up. His older brother nodded frustrated at the sweat running down his forehead. Nick looked at the guy on the chair and shrugged. "That's...umm..." Nate said. Clay turned around and decided to introduce himself. "I'm Clay...I ummm...hurt my...,errr..." Clay would have been able to put a sentence together if this guy's attractiveness wasn't punching him in the face knocking Clay for six. Clay looked down, then he looked to the side taking a read of this guys stats. Clay guessed he was six-foot or six one, weight in-between one hundred and sixty and one hundred and seventy. He didn't want to estimate, though, he wanted cold hard facts.
"Now there's gravel in our voices
Glasses shattered from the fight"
The guy walked past him in silence. Clay returned to the chair while Nate looked back at Clay. "That's my brother Nick" He said following his brother into the kitchen. Nick took a bottled water out of the fridge and rolled it on his forehead. "Get him out Nate" Nick asked. "Look at his hands, they're fucked" Nate said. "He needed a ice-bag" "He couldn't buy one?" Nick asked. "You're not a vet picking up fucking strays" Nick said. "He looked hurt" Nate said hoping Clay was still there.
"Whatever" Nick said shrugging. Nick walked out to his room. Clay wished they were alone so he could follow him. Nate came out hoping that Clay didn't hear anything. "Nick's grumpy...training and shit" Nate said. Clay shook his head. He was sure he could handle Nick's temper or anything else he wanted to throw at him. "It's cool" Clay said trying to sound trendy but he knew Nate wasn't buying it. "Train? What does Nick do?" Clay asked. "Fight...both of us" Nate said nodding.
"You know...ummm...you wanna see us train sometime?" Nate asked.
"In this tug of war you always win
Even when I'm right"
"Him? Train with us?" Nick asked. "Just to watch" Nate said shrugging.
"Nate you don't know him. You couldn't even tell me his fucking name" Nick said. Nick couldn't get it. He wouldn't understand if Nate tried to explain. Clay seemed ok. It would be new for someone to see Nate train and be amazed. He wanted the wide eyed stares and claps to be for him for once. Inviting someone may have been careless, but there was no harm in let Clay see them. It's not like Clay was a secret reporter or a groupie, he had no idea who they were or what job they had, until Nate told him.
"Daddy I'm gonna train, I wanna be good for...you know...our next one" "Daddy nodded sipping his soup. "Clay don't get too overexcited...they're mine remember" Daddy said Clay nodded. "Yeah always" Clay said meeting Nate at the park. They walked to the training centre and Nate introduced him to some of the guys. Clay nodded to be polite looking out for Nick. He watched Nate spar, rejecting offers to fight with him team-mates. Daddy was more than enough.
"Cause you feed me fables from your head
With violent words and empty threats
And it's sick that all these battles are what keeps me satisfied"
When Nick came into the training centre everyone flocked to him like fleas to a fresh corpse. Clay was impressed but kept focused on Nate. He was very agile, strong quick the type of training buddy than would be useful. He couldn't introduce him to Daddy. Daddy would shrug him off and Clay didn't want Nate knowing that he still called his Daddy well...Daddy. It wasn't the most witty thing to say in front of people Clay had found out the hard way that people thought it was weird. He couldn't let Nate or Nick think that about him, not yet.
Nick walked past him to watch Nate spar. "You wanna?" Nick mouthed. Nate nodded and got in the ring. Nick was more powerful that Nate by miles, but Clay could see that Nick was taking it easy on him. Roy Nelson stepped in and Nate wanted to fight him to prove a point. "Nate, no" Nick said. "Why? I'm not good enough for Roy?" Nate asked. "Don't" Nick said shielding Nate to start sparring with Roy. Nate gently pushed him and got out before Nick took it seriously.
"Just gonna stand there and watch me learn
Well that's alright because you like to be alert"
Nate didn't like being pushed to the sidelines, but he no choice. Deciding to go on the mats. He took a break first. Clay followed him as he went outside. "That was so cool" Clay said. "I guess, you sure you don't wanna spar?" Nate asked. Clay nodded. "My hands are still all Freddie Kruger" Clay said unrolling his sleeve. Nate winced as Clay showed him the marks. "Ice, ice ice" Nate said reaching over and sliding his fingers over Clay's palm. He quickly took his hand away and went back inside.
Clay paused for moment. That couldn't have been a pass, a come on? Nate was cool and hot, Clay was not. Clay told himself not to over think anything. They went back inside of the mats and Nate was grappling with a someone. Clay saw Nick get out of the ring and thought it was a good time to approach him. "Hi" Clay said looking at Nick's shirt so he didn't have to look at his face. "Mmmm..." Nick said walking past him. "Your..uuuumm...sparring was go-" Clay didn't finish the sentence. Nick was gone and he clearly couldn't care less about what Clay had to say or think.
"Just gonna stand there and hear me whine
Well that's alright because I love the way you fight
I love the way you fight"
"Your legs have to go there, yeah on the hip" Nate said as he mounted Josh Burkeman on the mat. Clay went to the bathroom. He didn't use on of the cubicles. He always chose to go at home, but he turned the tap on and splashed water on his face. He was getting sweaty and red even though he hadn't done any fighting himself. The tap was hard to open and one of Clay's hands sores opened up. "Ahh...god" Clay said as he turned the tap on with his other hand. He heard a flush. Nick came out of the cubicle and casually glanced over at Clay's sink.
"Shit" Nick said looking at Clay's scarred hands. Embarrassed Clay ran out leaving the tap on. Nick turned if off and put his hand back up to see Clay's blood on him on hand. Clay told Nate he had to go. "Thank for this...training thing" "Camp" Nate corrected. "Yeah...maybe umm...you could tell me about you fights?" Clay asked. "There must be one burger place my friends don't hang out at" Nate said.
"Kick back the myths that you're a machine
Crawl though the pain, tame mental screams"
"How was it?" Daddy asked. "Hard" Clay said thinking about Nick. "You're not eating tonight son. I've gotta save my money" Daddy said going to the kitchen to make himself a sandwich. Clay nodded and went to his room looking at pictures of food on the computer. He wondered what type of food Nate and Nick ate. Really healthy stuff he thought. He could imagine Nick eating lean steaks and bright green salad and having a plastic tub of fruit for dessert.
How many calories did MMA fighters eat in a day? Thousands Clay assumed. He was barely living on a thousand, another reason to get a job. He decided to do his own investigating. He went to the library looking for information, when he spotted a muscular guy reading a book about nutrition. "Umm...hi...err...do you fight?" Clay asked. The guy nodded. "MMA" He said. "Do you know Nate and Nick?" He asked. "I've heard of them...I wouldn't say I know them" He said.
"Light the match when the walls go up
In smoke with all our memories"
"Well Nate took me to his training thing" Clay said. "Camp" The guy corrected. "What's the one thing that I can read about to impress them?" Clay asked. "I don't think the Diaz brothers are easily impressed" The guy said. "They focus on actions, more than words" "Thanks" Clay said. "I'm Dominick Cruz" The guy told him. "Have you been fighting for a while or are you just getting started?" Clay asked. "I'm a champion, but you're new to this so I'll let that slide" Dominick said.
When Clay returned home with a couple of books but two rucksacks were in-front of the door when he got back. He pushed the open and Daddy was putting on his jacket. "We're moving?" Clay asked. "I'm moving Clay, somewhere cheaper, where you can't use your computer" Daddy said lifting getting his cap on. "Take those downstairs" Daddy said pointing at the rucksacks. Clay heaved one up on each shoulder, put them in Daddy's boot and watched him drive away. He had to leave. He could afford to stay at this apartment without Daddy's money.
"Just gonna stand there and judge my worth
Well that's alright, my fury's ashes in the dirt"
He stayed in the park until early evening, when someone he recognised patted him on the shoulder. "Hey...no library tonight?" Dominick asked. "I'm kinda house-hunting" Clay said. "House-hunting...in a park?" Dominick asked. "Look if you really need a place to crash...my doors open" Clay looked at him in shock, but got his rucksack and followed Dominick to his place. Luckily Daddy had their tool-kits, he didn't want to frighten him.
"You can sleep on the sofa" Dominick said. "No no...I'm okay on the floor" Clay said. It reminded him of all the times he slept on the floor listening to Daddy talk about Lisa how he was going to find her one day and get what was his. Clay would fall asleep looking at the open tool-kit hanging up on the wall. The street-lights giving the knives a heavenly sparkle like halos. "You hungry?" Dominick asked.
"Just gonna stand there and waste my time
Well that's alright because I love the way you fight
"Yeah, I'll have anything" Clay said a Dominick got two pots of yoghurt out of his fridge. Clay thanked him and pulled the lid open. He slowly licked the lid. He lifted the pot and smelled it. Rhubarb and custard. It smell so rich and fruity. "You ever seen a yoghurt before?" Dominick teased. "Let's just say I had a fasting day" Clay said. "Yeah, fasting really takes it out of you" Dominick said sitting down on the sofa with his shirt open. He turned the TV on and began eating his yoghurt with a teaspoon. Some of his forest fruits yoghurt dripped onto his chest and Clay leaned up, hoping Dominick wouldn't notice.
"I Hate the fact you're right
I Hate the fact you're right
I love the way you fight"
"Clay you can sit on here you know" Dominick said patting the sofa. Clay leaned up towards Dominick's chest and playfully licked the yoghurt off. Dominick smiled and wasn't complaining. Clay licked him again, and began kissing him down his chest. "Clay...hold your horses...maybe we should go out to eat first" Dominick said as Clay leaned up putting his elbows on the sofa. Before Clay could answer, there was a knock on the door. Dominick got up and answered it.
"Nick have you seen the time?" Dominick asked.
"Get it out Dom, you know you owe me" Nick said.
"A friend's here and I don't wanna wake her up"
"Her huh? Whatever" Nick said as Dominick closed the door.
"So...you do know Nate and Nick" Clay asked.
"Not really, I just owe him something" Dominick said as he buttoned his shirt up and went to his room. When he was sure Dominick wasn't coming back Clay sat on the sofa and ate his yoghurt. He crept to Dominick's kitchen and opened his cutlery draw. He knives were impressive but not as good as Daddy's tool-kit. He went back to the sofa the images of Dominick chest flashing through his mind. Did Dominick like it or did he fake liking it to be polite? Clay didn't want to know the answer. He decided he'd leave Dominick's place early in the morning, he had to find Daddy and bring him a little present.