Peggy had no idea what had happened. One minute they were celebrating the triumphant return of Captain America and the 400 soldiers he had rescued from behind enemy lines, the next she found herself in the company of Sergeant James Barnes, both staring at the closed door behind which Steve Rogers had disappeared when his superiors had finally demanded some answers.
"So you're the girl Steve kept mentioning all the time on the way back," she heard Sergeant Barnes say.
"So you are the boy Steve risked his life for," she replied, turning her head to shoot Bucky an admonishing look.
Bucky had the decency to look sheepishly as he came to stand in front of Peggy, effectively blocking her view of the door that remained closed. Peggy looked him in the eye, ready to give him a sharper retort, but she was pleasantly surprised when Bucky extended his hand to her.
"The way Steve tells it, he was not the only one to risk his life. Thank you, Agent Carter."
Peggy shook Bucky's hand. "No need to thank me. I was only looking out for Steve." She let go of his hand.
Bucky smiled. "Well, someone has to. It's nice to know someone had his back while I wasn't around," he said, steering Peggy towards some crates. He gestured for her to sit down on one and sat himself down on the opposite one. "Did he ever tell you about that time he got beaten up behind a diner in Brooklyn?"
They had only been in London a few days when the nightmares started. Steve had tried to hide it from Peggy, even though they saw each other every day at yet another strategy meeting at headquarters. After the third sleepless night, and despite the serum, Peggy started to notice something was off. She cornered Steve in a secluded hallway after their daily meeting was over. She checked to make sure they wouldn't be disturbed before planting herself squarely in front of Steve.
"What is going on?"
"I don't know," Steve said. "Why do you think something is going on?"
Peggy sighed. "I can see something's bothering you. Please tell me. Maybe I can help."
Steve was quiet for a minute, but Peggy could almost hear his internal monologue debating whether or not to talk to her. When he started talking, she was glad Steve's more reasonable side had won out.
"Bucky's been having nightmares. I'm worried about him. Some of the other guys get them too, who wouldn't after being taken prisoner, but their nightmares seem to be less violent."
"Violent? Sergeant Barnes's nightmares are violent? In what way?" Peggy asked.
"There's a lot of shouting and screaming. Sometimes it seems almost like he's in actual physical pain. I try to wake him up before it gets too bad, but that usually ends with me ducking punches and kicks until Bucky starts noticing where he is." Steve sounded worse than when he thought Bucky was dead. "Afterwards he can't really remember what the nightmare was about, and if he does he ain't telling me. He is mostly just angry with himself for being a nuisance to the others. And he seems embarrassed the nightmares are affecting him so much."
Peggy needed a minute to think. "Could it be…," she eventually said. "You said that when you found him, he'd been tied down and he seemed really out of it. Maybe they did something to him that's causing all this?"
Steve shook his head. "I don't know, maybe they did. All I know is the other guys are getting fed up with it. They haven't said anything, at least not to me, but some of them have moved out of the barracks. I can't really blame them."
"Yes, you can, but that's another matter. I think Sergeant Barnes may be better off staying in alternative accommodation. Leave it to me, I'll take care of it," Peggy said.
"Alternative accommodation? How will that help with the nightmares?"
"It probably won't, to be honest. But at least Sergeant Barnes will be out of the barracks. He might feel like less of a nuisance, and if he has another episode there will be less people to witness it."
"Where would this alternative accommodation even be?" Steve asked, still unsure.
Peggy smiled gently. "Like I said, I'll take care of it. You just go back the barracks and talk to Sergeant Barnes."
Steve looked for Bucky when he got back to the barracks, but he was nowhere to be found. He asked around until finally some soldiers pointed him towards a nearby bar. He walked in and saw Bucky sitting by himself at a table in the corner, an empty glass and a bottle of whisky in front of him. Steve walked over.
"Mind if I join you?"
Bucky shrugged, so Steve sat down. He noticed the bottle of whisky hadn't yet been opened, the seal still intact.
"You plan on drinking that?"
Bucky shrugged again and looked down at the table. He started toying around with the glass, moving it from hand to hand on the table, turning it upside down and back again.
"I need to talk to you about something, Buck."
Bucky kept playing with the glass.
"I talked to Agent Carter about those nightmares you've been having," Steve said.
Bucky looked up from his glass. "Oh?"
"Yeah. She suggested we move to… What did she call it again? Oh, yeah, alternative accommodation. I still don't really know what that means, she said she would take care of it for us."
Bucky gave Steve a grim smile. "So, you and your girlfriend have found a solution to my problem, have you?"
Steve sighed. "Look, Buck, we're only trying to help you? We're worried about you, and Agent Carter thinks this might be good for you."
"Oh, she does, does she? Lucky you, picking up such a smart broad."
"Don't talk about her like that. Besides, she's not my girlfriend. We're friends, just like you and I are."
Bucky scoffed.
"Here's the deal," Steve said as he got up from the table. "Agent Carter is sending someone to pick us up at the base and bring us to this new place. I'm going back there to pack up my stuff. You can either come with me, or you can stay here and stare at that bottle some more. So, what'll it be?"
"Us? So you're moving out too?" Bucky asked.
Steve grinned. "Of course, Bucky. Someone needs to protect the innocent women of London against your charms. I can't risk having you out and about by yourself, who knows how many heart you'd break," he teased.
Bucky couldn't hold back a small grin. "Okay," he said after a minute. "I'll come with you." He got up from the table, and picked up the bottle and glass. As Steve walked towards the door, Bucky went to the bar to return the glass. When he joined Steve outside, he was still carrying the bottle of whisky. Steve gave him a questioning look.
"What?" Bucky asked. "I paid for it, I'm taking it with me. Come on, Rogers! I'll race you back to the base," he shouted, already halfway down the road.
The car dropped them off in front of a row of terraced houses. Peggy was waiting for them outside one of them. Steve and Bucky got their bags out of the car before it drove off.
"Good evening, gentlemen. Please follow me," Peggy said as she opened the front door. She waited until both men had made it inside before holding up a key and pointing at the nearest door. "This is the key to your flat. You should find everything you need inside."
Steve took the key from her. "Thanks, Peggy." He pointed towards the stairs. "What's upstairs?"
"Another flat," Peggy replied.
"Agent Carter, won't the people upstairs mind if there's suddenly two American soldiers living in the apartment underneath them?" Bucky wondered.
Peggy gave him a smile. "Given that I occupy the flat upstairs, Sergeant Barnes, I can assure you the flat's resident doesn't mind."
"If we're going to be living in the same house, you really should call me Bucky." He winked at her.
"Right. Of course. Bucky. I suppose you should call me Peggy then."
They smiled at each other until they were interrupted by Steve clearing his throat. "Maybe we should get settled, Buck?" he asked as he opened the door to the flat. "Thanks for this, Peggy. We won't be a bother, I assure you," Steve said as he waited for Bucky to enter the flat. He walked after him, turned back to smile at Peggy and closed the door.
"No need to be jealous, Steve," Bucky said mischievously once they heard Peggy walking up the stairs. "Peggy and I are just friends. You know, like you and I are friends?"
"I know. It's fine. So, which bedroom do you want?" he asked, moving the conversation away from Peggy.
Peggy woke up in the middle of the night. Someone was knocking on her door quite forcefully. She grabbed her dressing gown and made sure it was securely tied. She opened the door and saw Steve standing in the hallway, dishevelled and panicking.
"Steve, what's the matter?"
"Sorry to wake you up, Peggy, but something's happened. You wouldn't have a first aid kit or something lying around?"
Peggy was certain the serum was the only reason why Steve wasn't breathing heavily. He must have raced up the stairs, driven by panic.
"Wait here," she said as she half-closed the door again and walked back into her bedroom. She had a small bag inside her wardrobe that held almost everything one would need in an emergency. She grabbed the bag and walked into the hallway, closing the door behind her. "Lead the way."
They hurried down the stairs and into the downstairs flat, where Bucky was sitting on the couch, one hand wrapped in one of Peggy's old kitchen towels. He looked up when he heard them enter the room.
"Why is she here? She didn't need to come," he half-yelled at Steve, despite his anger still mindful of the neighbours.
"I'm here now," Peggy said, sitting down on the couch next to Bucky. "Why don't you tell me what happened while I take a look at that?" she asked, pointing at his hand.
"I woke up and I was disoriented. I accidentally knocked something off the nightstand and I cut myself trying to pick up the shards," Bucky said.
Steve came to stand in front of the couch, arms crossed, an unhappy look on his face. "That's not exactly what happened, is it? You were having a nightmare, I tried waking you up, and you threw an empty bottle of whisky at my head," he said.
While they were talking, Peggy had filled a glass with water from the tap in the kitchen. She put the glass down on the coffee table and sat back down onto the couch, putting Bucky's hand in her lap. She cleaned out the wound with a corner of the towel Bucky had already been using.
"It doesn't look like there's any glass still inside the cut. That's good," she said, grabbing her bag. She took out a bottle of antiseptic, some gauze and a dressing. She put some antiseptic on the gauze. "This might sting a bit," she said as she pressed the gauze against the cut on Bucky's hand.
Bucky hissed. He looked at Peggy. "That's not a bit. That's a lot," he said, supressing the urge to remove his hand from her lap.
"Oh, Bucky," Steve said as he sat down on the coffee table, "don't be a baby."
"I'm not," Bucky whined. "It hurts."
Peggy smiled as she finished bandaging his hand. "There. All done," she said. She pointed at the glass of water. "Now drink that, it will help with the pain."
Bucky grabbed the glass with his other hand. "How is water going to help with a cut on my hand?" he asked doubtfully.
"It won't," Peggy said with a grin. "But you've drunk an entire bottle of whisky in one night. The water might help with the headache you'll get in the morning."
They all laughed, but Bucky suddenly turned sombre again. "I thought it would help."
Steve put a hand on Bucky's knee as Peggy put her hand right above the bandage on his hand, both trying to comfort him.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Steve asked.
Bucky drank the last of the water and put his glass back down on the table. "It's always the same," he said. "I'm tied down on some table and I think I'm all alone until there's all these faces floating above me. Except they're not really faces. Not human ones at least. They're monsters." Bucky took a deep breath. And another one. He was quiet for a minute. "And then there's pain. So. Much. Pain," he whispered.
Peggy realised she had been caressing Bucky's hand with her thumb, and she was about to stop until she realised Steve was doing the same to Bucky's knee. She figured it could only bring more comfort to their friend, so she kept doing it.
"I thought the alcohol would… I don't know. It made it worse actually. That's why I threw the bottle. I woke up and I didn't know where I was and I thought I was back there and then I saw the bottle and… Oh god," Bucky said, looking at Steve. "I'm so sorry. I thought you were one of them."
Bucky got up from the couch, Peggy and Steve's hands falling away from him, and he started pacing from the couch to the wall and back. "I'm not drinking ever again. What if next time I hurt you? Really hurt you? Who knows what else I would do after another one of those nightmares?"
Steve went and stood in front of Bucky, who had no choice but to stop pacing.
"I'm so sorry," Bucky said again. He sounded heartbroken. "You're my best friend and I woke up thinking you were one of those monsters. You saved me from those monsters! I'm so sorry, Steve."
Steve put a hand on Bucky's shoulder. "It's alright. You were still stuck in that nightmare. It's alright," he said, repeating that last bit a few times in the hopes that it would help Bucky calm down.
Suddenly, Bucky fell forward, his arms settling around Steve's waist. Desperate hands clung to Steve's shirt, pulling him closer. Bucky hid his face, pressing it against the undershirt Steve had worn to bed, breathing hard against the soft spot where neck meets shoulder. As a few tears landed on his shirt, Steve hugged Bucky, his arms encircling his best friend's trembling shoulders. He softly stroked the back of Bucky's neck with his thumb, trying to comfort him.
"It's okay," Steve murmured as he leaned his head against Bucky's. "I got you."
Peggy watched on as she saw the two men hug. While it seemed like it was Bucky who was leaning on Steve for support, Peggy knew that Steve had needed this just as badly as Bucky did. He had been worried for his best friend, that much was obvious to her when she had forced him to tell her what was going on.
As she saw Bucky press his face against Steve's neck, his nose pressed right below Steve's jaw, Peggy had to hold herself back. She wanted to rush forward, and try to wrap her arms around both men as best as she could. The intensity of her feelings for the two friends surprised her. She wanted to offer comfort to them both, in any way that she could. Instead she collected her stuff and left the flat, treading lightly so as not to interrupt Bucky and Steve. The last thing she saw before she closed the front door was Steve murmuring into Bucky's ear, softly swaying the both of them from side to side as Bucky's hands clung to Steve's back.