I know that most people usually hate second generation stories but please give it a try. My first ever Death Note fanfic so please be nice. A few warnings though- if you're Christian, please don't get offended because everything written below is pure crack and I wrote this one Sunday afternoon when I was bored as hell and high from my hunger.

The main narrator is Jesus Yagami, Light's son. There will be no serious romance. I have, however decided on a whole crack Romeo and Juliet complex for Near and Mello's kids. :D

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note and what not but I do own Jesus Yagami and any other children of canon characters that might pop up.

Athiest

It was official. My life stunk like the cabbages lying at the bottom of L's fridge; and trust me that stuff reeks- they're like what? Twenty years old?

If it wasn't bad enough that my father had an unhealthy superiority complex, to the point where he required therapy and had enough issues to make a magazine rack on psychology groan with effort, he just had to throw me into the mess. I had never been on good terms with life from the start. As soon as I popped out of my mother's womb into the midwife's hands, I was named after a biblical idol I had never believed in. That's right- my father who must have been drunk/smoking something a lot stronger than crack/taking mixed drugs or even worse... stealing jam from BB's fridge- named me Jesus. Yup, that's right, the brunette guy with a beard and a consistent fashion of the same white toga and desert sandals.

It was particularly annoying when you couldn't tell the difference between whether someone was crying Christ's name in vain or simply just trying to get your attention.

It wasn't just my first name I had an issue with either, my last name- let's not get started on that.

My father's belief of his existence being so much beyond the remainder of society, seemed to have morphed his brain into a pile of dog shit and decided it was cool to name his very unfortunate son after the actual son of a real god. And when I say 'real', I mean, a god that most of society accepts so that a religion is formed because in case you haven't already worked it out- I am not the most religious person in the world.

That brings me back to the point of why I was currently crouched in a dark corner in a very good imitation of L with a butter knife in my right hand and really starting to contemplate on whether or not I should use it. The knife itself wasn't really that sharp to do much worse than give me a really ugly bruise on my wrist that worst but you know what they say... it is the gateway knife after all.

I was grounded.

For a punishment, I had every piece of technology in my room removed including my phone and my laptop. A measly dinner of plain bread and butter was hardly enough to fill my stomach while my parents were off, probably having a fuck-tastic time over at Uncle Matt's house, celebrating the birth of his new daughter. I'd been grounded before and had worse punishments but this was different- let me give a brief description of how exactly I was grounded.

XxX

I spotted my father laughing manically to himself in the living room, both arms raised halfway towards the ceiling as he had his cackling fit. A normal person would have taken one look at my father in all his laughing glory and scurried like a mouse in the other direction. However, I was quite used to it as strangely enough, it was a common practice in the daily life of Light Yagami.

'Dad,' I said tentatively. I knew it wasn't a good idea to interrupt my father while he was off his medication and decided to start off gently. First mistake. If my father is having a cackling fit, he should never be interrupted and I should've left it like that. To no one's surprise, he did not hear me.

'Dad,' I said more firmly this time but again he ignored me as he leaned over the dining table, scribbling something into his diary. My father was always keeping a diary and though I've tried to read it on many occasions, I have never been able to get my hands on it. My father knew the best hiding places in the house and though I hate to admit it, is in every factor- a very intelligent person.

I slowly tiptoed towards him, though it was unnecessary because he proved to be too distracted to notice me even if I stripped naked and began screaming 'MY LAST NAME IS BACKWARDS FOR I'M A GAY!' while dancing the cha-cha.

'DAD!' I raised my voice and I saw my father jump, cramming the small black notebook into his jacket pocket as he whirled around.

'Oh, didn't see you there, son,' he said, the smile plastered on his face was noticeably fake.

'What are you doing?' I questioned, my intentions distracted by curiosity.

'I'm writing in my diary like the therapist told me,' he said quickly, 'you know... to confide to it by innermost emotions or something...'

'Right,' I blinked before steering back on to course, 'I have something very important to confess to you and please don't get angry.'

'You got suspended?'

'No.'

'The principal expelled you?'

'No!'

'Oh, I know- you got a girl pregnant.'

'What the-? Hell no!'

'Then what is it?' my father growled impatiently.

I took a deep breath, 'I don't know- on second thoughts you might yell at me-.'

'I promise I won't get angry.'

'Dad,' I began slowly, 'I'm an atheist.'

An awkward silence followed as expected and my father's eyes widened, his pupils contracting as his jaw slowly made its way to the floor, 'What?'

I opened my mouth and hesitantly repeated the three words and watched as a vein began to form on my father's forehead, the look in his eyes mad with murder.

'WHAT DID YOU SAY?'

I took a shaking breath, every cell in my body screaming at me to scram out the doors and over the hills but I stood my ground, 'I said, I am an atheist.'

'MISA!'

'What is it, darling?' my blonde mother said calmly, poking her head in through the door, 'would you like me to help you with your diary entry again?'

'DID YOU HEAR WHAT YOUR SON JUST SAID?'

'No I didn't, what did he say, Light?'

'YOUR SON IS AN ATHIEST!'

My mother's jaw hit the wooden floorboards as she grabbed her forehead and leaned against the wall for support, in the very image of someone who was about to faint.

I bit my lip as my father turned to face me, his eyes glinting red with anger and when he spoke, his voice had returned to a normal level, 'You're grounded.'

It was my turn to go into shock, 'What?'

'You will have your phone, laptop and iPod confiscated for two months, plus you can't go out with your friends, nor can you go to Uncle Matt's party.'

I finally found my voice, 'T-That's so unfair!'

'Unless, of course you give in and finally accept that a God exists and is sitting in front of you right now,' my father said smugly.

Hell, I was a chicken but I was definitely one with pride.

XxX

I chewed miserably on my last bread crust as the butter knife clattered loudly onto the floor. I wish I had my iPod with me so I could play some emo music to help me angst.

Uncle Matt held the best parties in the world mainly because his wife happened to be a brilliant cook. I wished more than anything to have a family like that: a nice mother, a few siblings to play with, (being an only child stinks!) and a Chihuahua named Yoshi. The only person who threw better parties was Uncle Mello and that was only because he was the head of a mafia and included alcohol and sexy hostesses into the party. Instead of a Chihuahua, Mello has this huge, scary dog that was probably part wolf, like the type you see policeman and security guards lead around. Of course, Dad would never allow me to go anywhere near his house so I often snuck out. Last year, he sent me a real gun for my birthday and it was loaded and everything until Dad confiscated it. He says he threw it out but sometimes when he thinks I'm asleep, he goes downstairs to the games room and shoots bullets at a picture of L he sticks in the middle of the target board. I found out when I discovered his holed up picture lying in the sanitary pad disposal bin that my mother had installed into the bathroom, (don't ask me why I was looking through it).

Life was so unfair. It was like a complex game where cheating was impossible. Sometimes I wonder if death was easier...

I smacked my head to clear my suicidal thoughts, Calm down, Jesus Yagami- are you going to give in now when things get hard? You've got to fight! Fight back against life!

'Yes, I will never give in,' I said out loud and formulated a plan in my head. I turned on my table light and searched around for several minutes for a bobby pin before remembering that I was a guy, (a straight one at that, before you start questioning my sexuality), and that my mother was the only person in the family that had owned hair accessories. No paper clip, I even forgot my pencil case at school so my scissors were not an option.

That was when the light bulb I inherited from my father kicked in over my mother's idiot genes and lit up. I still had my membership card from Abercrombie and Fitch! It was an old card my father passed onto me from his old days, keeping it active by constantly going on shopping sprees with my mother every month. It now lay at the bottom of my wallet, unused for so long it was probably expired by now but I had never been more grateful to see it as I pulled out the crummy card from under my roll of dollar notes.

I jammed the edge of the card into the lock and after a few unsuccessful tries, the door finally swung open with a loud creak as I breathed in the smelly perfume my mother often wore mixed in with my father's cologne. It made me double over and choke, having not been exposed to the regular smell of the house for quite a while.

Oh yeah, freedom!

Oh my God, I can't believe what I just wrote. It probably sucks but whatever, I was bored as hell. I don't expect any reviews for this sorry excuse for a piece of literature but reviews would be nice and appreciated. I probably won't even continue this.