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A/N: A brand new fic, inspired by a week in hospital, and a lot of time to watch the first season of CSI again. I'll stick sort of to the events of the first season, to an extent, during this, with a few GSR moments developed into more.
Just a taster of the angsty ride that is to come!
Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: Nothing here belongs to me, just borrowing some characters for a while!
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He had always kept her waiting. He had insisted he had changed since they had last seen each other, but so far, he still seemed the same to her.
She wouldn't put it past him to leave her waiting, with a phonecall in the morning to apologise. Work went late, a case came up, paperwork to finish. An excuse for everything.
"Excuse me, Miss? Can I take your order, or do you want a few more minutes?"
She hadn't even noticed the waitress come up. She smiled softly, shaking her head, "I'm just waiting on someone, a few more minutes and he should be here."
She smiled empathetically with a nod, "There's no rush, Miss."
She turned her attention back to the menu in front of her, still undecided as to what she was going to order. Once more, her mind wandered to earlier on today, her first day in Las Vegas.
It felt so good to see him again. She had been so excited, of course she jumped at the chance to come out here to see him, to work with him. Truth be told, she had waited for this day for a long time.
"God, Sara, I have so many unanswered whys."
She was starting to compile a list of her own. There were many things she would like an answer to, but she knew what he was like, and it was very unlikely she would ever get them.
"Sara, I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting." She didn't even hear him come in, she had been so distracted by her own thoughts.
"It's fine, let me guess, work came up?"
"I'm sorry, I meant to phone. Just with everything with Holly and Warrick, there's been a lot going on."
"Honestly, Grissom, I understand." She gave a small laugh as he slid into the booth opposite her. "I know I've come at a busy time. If you want, we can do this some other time, you can get back to work." She was starting to doubt herself now, doubt why she was called here, why she decided to stay.
Grissom reached across the table, gently placing his hand over hers, her skin warm and soft beneath his. "Sara, I asked you to come here. I wanted you here." He paused for a moment, searching her brown eyes for a sign that she didn't seem to give, telling him that it was okay for him to have his hand on hers. "It's good to see you again."
She couldn't stop herself from smiling, despite her best efforts, she tried to tell herself when she came here that she would not fall back into this trap. What happened between them was a long time ago, and they had both agreed to bury it and move on with their lives. But here they were, intertwined once more.
"It's good to see you too, Gil. You seem to be doing great here in Vegas."
"At the moment it's more hectic than I would like it to be, but I'm sure I will get used to it. I'm sorry... For not keeping in touch over the last three years, Sara. I never meant to let so long elapse between phonecalls." What he really meant to say was that he never meant to let her get away, but he couldn't bring himself to admitting that outloud just yet.
She gave him an easy smile, shaking her head, passing it off. "It's okay, I know you've been busy with the lab here, you've done a lot of great work over the last few years." She hoped he didn't notice the warm blush that crept up on her cheeks, giving away the fact that she had kept up on cases he had been working. It had been nice to know that he was doing well.
Little did she know that he had also done the same in regards to her. He had a lot of contacts in San Francisco, some he regularly kept in contact with, and it made it easy for him to ask a few questions about her. Just enough to know she was happy and okay, enough to stop him running back to her.
A comfotrable silence settled over the pair as the waitress reappeared to take their order. Both ordered a coffee, and split a portion of fries between them.
Each seemed to be remembering a different time, far away from where they were right now. It was an easy silence, looking at each other every now and then with a series of shared smiles.
Their order came and this time it was Grissom who spoke first. "So, how have you been, Sara? What have you done since I seen you last in San Francisco?"
She finished chewing what she had in her mouth, her coffee warm in her hands, glad for the moment she had to compose herself, how she would answer this question. Her mind always went into overdrive when he was around, she began thinking too deeply, questioning herself, doubting her words and thoughts.
"It's been good. I finished my degree, as you can tell, and got a job in the lab in San Francisco. I worked there for three years, and here I am, working for you now. Nothing really out of the ordinary, you know me Gil, low profile."
He chuckled softly to himself, remembering all too well that she preferred staying in, watching movies, having a meal in, than going out. She was the opposite to nearly every student he had ever thought. She was so bright, sharp, extremely focused and dedicated. She poured so much effort into her work, and she had such a passion for it. It was one of the things that drew his attention to her first. That and those deep brown eyes and sweet, long legs. He mentally chastised himself for allowing himself to think such things. She had always had such an effect on him.
"You exceeded, from what I hear, everyones expectations in the lab. Helped bring it up in national rankings."
She felt herself swelling with pride. It was comments like that that used to make her day when she was younger. always wanted to please him, to show him that she was capable. "What can I say, I learnt from the best."
"It didn't take much effort on my behalf, Sara. You were always very eager, very easy to teach. I actually still hear about you from Professors when we talk. Do you remeber Professor Nolan? He still brings you up when we cross paths, always noting how eager you seemed in my forensics lectures."
He knew straight away he had said something wrong, the way her body stiffened and she put the cup of coffee down. She swiftly tried to recompose herself, but he could tell the smile was forced.
"That's good to know." Her attempt to sound genuine was weak, raising his concern.
"Did I say something wrong?"
She instantly shook her head, too fast for his liking. "No, no not at all. Just... It's been a while since I've thought of college life."
Guilt washed over him at that thought, wondering if he was why she preferred to not think of her time in college. "Sara... I... I have a lot to explain to you, about what happened between us." He paused for just a moment, taking a breath. This was not where he had seen this night going, but he knew it would happen sooner or later.
A shrill ringing of a cell phone snapped the two of them out of the high anticipation moment. Grissom sighed, pulling it from his pocket and looking at the caller. "Brass.." He said, more to himself than to Sara.
"It's okay. Answer it." She said softly, almost relieved that this came when it did, she didn't know if what would come of that conversation would do either of them any good. Things were good as they were. They had that good working relationship back, they were in tune with each other, they knew what to expect from each other. Did she want all of that to change, because he felt guilty? Of course she didn't. She would rather have him as a friend, to have him in her life at all, than to have an explanation. That wasn't why she came here.
"I'm sorry, Sara." He said as he stood, flipping open his cell, talking in a hurried tone to Brass. In less than a minute he had turned back to her, his cell back in his pocket.
"Brass needs me on a case. Lots of bugs. Needs my expertise." He was drowning in guilt now.
Her understanding gaze made him melt. She always let him away with too much. "It's fine. I know the job. Do you want some help?"
"No, I think I should have it covered. You go and get some rest, I'm sure you're exhausted after the trip, and the case."
She didn't sleep much, but he did have a point, a few hours couldn't hurt.
"I'm sorry, Sara. I'll make it up to you." He said as he grabbed his jacket, taking the bill in his hands as he went, despite her protests. "I'll see you tomorrow, Sara. And, thank you, for coming out to me when I called."
She just smiled, as he walked out after paying the bill for their food. Once again she sat and watched him walk out the door, even after she promised herself it would never happpen again.
She sighed, running her hands through her hair, as she gathered her stuff, trying no to think about the dark points that had managed to resurface. "Anytime, Gil." She mumbled to herself, in response to his last sentence.
Here she was, being sucked back into that vicious cycle with Gil Grissom. She only hoped it wouldn't end as it had last time.
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