Hello my name is Chichigal! This is officially to be my first Naruto fanfiction. Hope it's ok v. Now I can assure it won't be a oneshot. Please review me with any comments.
Regrets
Chapter 1
My green orbs glazed and tired stared into the darkened skies. Gazing into the unknown.
War cries and the sounds of battle had long died, and the only sounds left on this wasteland of death and blood were the periodic beating of my own faltering heart and gasps of my own breath.
Here I am, Haruno Sakura apprentice to the Godaime. A Shinobi to the village of the hidden leaf. A fatal would painfully piercing my chest. Lying here alone dying in a pool of my own blood. Fitting that I would die alone. It always seemed I was alone, so why not even in death.
I could see the strands of my own dirtied pink hair swimming raggedly in the pool of red surrounding me. My mangled body lay quite still. The only motion been the rise and fall of my chest, avidly struggling to keep the breath in my dying body.
Death would soon come. My dream would finally die with me today.
But would it have mattered either way. My dream had been hopeless the moment I realised it. The moment, I Haruno Sakura looked at Uzumaki Naruto with hope for a new dream. A dream of a future that no longer contained a dark brooding man. But a man born of the opposite spectrum. Warm like the sun, and equally as bright.
For a long while, my heart had began to beat differently for this man I had once thought little of in my youth. I fell in love the moment his blue eyes gazed into mine heartbroken but strong. And the infamous promise of a lifetime was bestowed upon me. All for me.
But I was entrapped far too deeply in my childish infatuation for the dark avenger, to see the honesty of my own feelings and his back then. Far too long the false feeling of love disguised this truth.
It was Yamato's spoken words that would finally lifted the blinders, so to speak. It didn't come immediately of course. At the time I was quite confused, and all said was tossed to a recess in deepest depths of my mind to haunt me later.
I remember the moment the reality of it all hit me. I was working at the hokage's desk, helping with a bit of paper work, to ease my mind of worries. Respecting shishou's advice, and was for the moment allowing my blonde companion a moment to himself. But I couldn't stop from fretting over the blonde idiot. I was fretting over his agony at the loss of his perverted sensei and father like figure. And at that moment I could almost feel his pain that moment, and was stressing at the hopelessness of the entire situation. Tears burned my eyes unwontedly. Why couldn't I do more... Why did I do so little...
It was then Yamato's words came back to haunt me.
It's not a problem of big or small... What's important is the strength of the feelings you have for Naruto...
Here I was Haruno Sakura crying over the blonde knucklehead. Agonizing over him. Worried in a way I never was with Sasuke. All because...
Sakura... I can tell by looking at you... In reality...
... I loved him.
I almost broke shishou's desk. You can imagine how terrified I was from the realisation. I almost had a hyperventilating fit. After all this was Naruto. Annoying. Obnoxious. Knucklehead extraordinaire. My team mate.
But he was also warm hearted and kind. Gentle and strong. And even I have to admit, easy on the eyes. He was wonderful. I couldn't help but love him.
But what could I do... How could I see him now... How could I help when all I've done since I was a child was hurt him...
Thinking back on all I've done to him made me nauseous. How could I ever think I would be lucky enough too ever earn his love back. The truth of it, he deserved far more than a temperamental flat chested idiot of a girl like me, especially when there were more likely candidates out there. I've seen the way Hinata looks at him. She was calm, collected, beautiful and kind. Everything I wasn't. Everything he deserves.
And either way my love would be of course be unwanted. His love must have died for me long ago, and the blame could only be cast upon myself for throwing his selfless love away. Destroying it with a selfish promise, in hopes of redeeming the unredeemable.
I had hurt him more than anyone then. Beat him with no regards to his feelings. Ignored his entire existence, imagining myself far too superior to waste a moment of my time in his presence, when it was the other way round. Stupid idiotic child I was then. It would be far more harmless if I just stayed out of his life.
Tears fell down my cheeks then. And at that moment I made a promise of a lifetime to him. I promised I would not to be a source of his pain ever again. Even if that meant never seeing him again.
So I opted to stay away. Until Tsunade-Shishou told me was leaving again. Training once more, this time in the teaching of the sage. This time for revenge against the Akatsuki. I feared for his life then. Feared that he may die before he managed and realised his dream of being Hokage. Before he could finally be happy. I was also so angry at the murderous bastards, that I unintentionally snapped at him a few times during the course of the search for clues of Jiraya's last message to leaf. Then came the time for his training and he left.
I felt empty. And at loss. I mourned for his departure, and hoped for his return. I longed for him. I dreamed of more than I should, even as far as to picture Pink and blonde haired children, with his outlook to life and child like enthusiasm. It was heartbreaking, waking up and realising they would never be.
So I signed up for this mission in hopes of getting my mind of the blonde. It was a simple retrieval mission. Who would have thought it would be my last.
Here fallen to a member of the akatsuki. I had fought as a ninja, and fought with honour and strength. I even managed to take the stupid grey skinned bastard down with me. But now dying here and alone, it made it all seem meaningless. Here I was dying with nothing but regrets.
I wished I had told him. Wished he knew the truth even if it wasn't reciprocated. I wished I could have died gazing into the depth of his deep blue eyes, even if his weren't gazing down at me with love.
The pain that once pierced my chest had now by now grown numb. Physical pain may have numbed now, but still...
Ba-bump
It hurts... Naruto...
Ba-bump
I'm sorry... I wish there was more time...
Ba.. Bump..
I love you...
Ba... Bump...
Goodbye... Naruto...
It's so dark...
...
End of Chapter 1
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