Had it all been a lie?

by Ms Puddleglum

Disclaimer: The Hunger Games and all characters belong to the brilliant author Suzanne Collins, movie production by Lionsgate (US).

Introduction: I started reading "The Hunger Games" in August 2012, and the story was so engaging that I had hard time putting the book down. Before reading the second book in the trilogy, I had this story in my mind already. After reading all three books, I still couldn't get rid of this story in my head, so I decided to write this down just because I love the star-crossed lovers, Peeta and Katniss, and I would like to share this short story with other fans who love Peeta.

Note that I haven't read any other Hunger Games fan-fictions (there are so many out there), so if you see my plot similar to any of the existing ones, it's entirely a coincidence. Great minds think alike after all!

Please bear in mind English is not my mother tongue, and I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing!

-Ms Puddleglum

Chapter 1: The Cave

I had rather die than to know the painful truth...

Yes, I should have died in the arena... back near the stream waiting for my imminent death... when I was in pain and highly feverish.

At least back then I was glad that I had done one thing I had wanted to do from the beginning. I had done my best to protect Katniss from the Careers... at least once.

But then she appeared out of nowhere, searching for me. I couldn't believe my ears when I heard her hushed voice, calling my name over and over.

How many times had I dreamed of her in my slumber? This couldn't be true, but I managed to joke, "You're here to finish me off, sweetheart?"

When she found me, she was clearly relieved and even... happy. She said firmly, "You're not going to die."

I was very touched by her kind words. I knew better than anyone else that my days were numbered. I hadn't eaten for days, nor did I have any appetite. It was just a matter of time, but I was more than grateful I could hear her voice and see her face again before my death.

So I attempted another joke. "Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it."

Her reaction confounded me. Instead of getting annoyed, she laughed at my bantering remark. I couldn't help thinking something in her had changed. But what exactly, I couldn't quite place it.

As always, once she had determined to do something, she wouldn't back out easily. She said we were on the same team now. Well... did I care about continuing the Games? Not really... my body had failed me, and I felt pain everywhere. But Katniss was here right beside me, even attending my wounds and washing the dirts off me.

She couldn't possibly know that this was in fact the best day in my life yet. Not only she cared for me, she was actually worried about me and wanted to heal me. In particular, Dr. Everdeen had tried her best trying to do something about the deep cut on my left leg.

How many times in the past had I tried to get her attention? To notice my existence when we were schoolmates? She never bothered. In her mind, I was probably just one of the well off kids.

If only I could tell her how much I had loved her ever since I could remember. I had loved no other girls in my life. Only Katniss, the poor girl living in the Seam.

Therefore, to me, my lucky day had come at last. At least I felt pampered by her. She later found a cave for us as our hideout, continuing to nurse me without any reserve. It was obvious that she was trying to act like I would eventually recover, but I had known better.

The cave might as well be my tomb, but before I let out my last breath, I wanted to thank her for all she had done for my sake and to tell her that her kindness far outweighed her temper. As a matter of fact, I was never angry at her outburst at me after the interview on the night before the Games.

That night, she was furious at my 'prank'. I had confessed my love for her to all people in Panem. She thought that I did that to make her look weak.

Yet she didn't know... I had done that mainly for myself. I had never expected myself to survive the Games, so I had merely wanted to let her know the long-buried secret in my heart. That interview had been my last chance in my life, and Haymitch had supported my decision.

After she made me lie down and tuck me into her sleeping bag, I resolved to speak up to express my gratitude. "Katniss," I called her name in a low voice.

She came to me. Her tender fingers brushed my hair back from my eyes. Then I said, "Thanks for finding me."

She murmured something about if I were in her shoes, I would have done the same. Her hand was still on my forehead. My high fever must have worried her, so I told Katniss, "Look, if I don't make it back-"

"Don't talk like that. I didn't drain all that pus for nothing," she said.

"I know. But just in case I don't-" I tried to continue.

"No, Peeta, I don't even want to discuss it." She placed her fingers on my lips.

I insisted, "But I-"

I had never thought that she would stop me from talking by pressing her soft lips to mine!

I was shocked to the core to say the least. Was it an illusion? But it felt real. I was very sick, but I was conscious enough to know that she had kissed me, for the first time!

She broke off the kiss and pulled the edge of the sleeping bag up to my neck. "You're not going to die. I forbid it. All right?"

I almost blurted out, "This isn't something you can control." But instead I whispered, "All right."

After that, I dozed off. Even if I died now, I would have died a happy man.

But she kissed me awake not long after that. I was startled. Yet nothing but joy filled my heart now. I could feel my lips starting to tug into a smile, and I could not take my eyes off her face at all.

So Haymitch just sent me a pot of hot broth, but I didn't feel like eating at all. However, Katniss insisted, and she tried various means to get the broth into my mouth, including kissing me. I had never felt so ecstatic in my life. This was Katniss, the girl who was on fire. But she acted like my lover now just trying to coax me into cooperating.

We later found out the next day that I got blood poisoning. I had been right all along. I was in fact dying, but I felt significantly better now than the days before Katniss had come to find me in the stream.

What did I get now? Clean clothes, medicine and a sleeping bag. Most importantly, I got Katniss with me in the last couple of days of my life. The only girl I had loved.

It was just too bad I didn't get to know her more. So when she asked me what I wanted from her, I said I would like to listen to a story about something happy in her past.

It took her a while to come up with a story about her beloved little sister, Prim. She must have loved Prim so much. After all, Katniss volunteered on behalf of Prim. No one could have loved another one more by giving up her life. Well... I shouldn't have said that. Katniss might be the victor. I wanted her to survive the Games more than anything in the world.

But I had caused her nothing but trouble. I wished I had a way to payback her kindness, and I even considered asking her to leave me alone. But it wouldn't be long now. Probably another two days at most? My death could help her move on. I had confidence that she would walk out the arena alive. She was a natural fighter.

Then there came the announcement of the feast. "...each of you needs something desperately... for some of you, this will be your last chance..."

Immediately, I could tell a plan was forming in Katniss' head. I gripped her shoulder from behind, which made her jump, and seriously urged, "No, you're not risking your life for me."

"Who said I was?"

"So, you're not going?"

"Of course, I'm not going..." she murmured and strived to come up with her reasons to convince me. She was such a bad liar, and I could not let her go. I'd rather die than to let her take risk for me. We reasoned with each other, but I stood my ground, not giving in at all.

"What am I supposed to do? Sit here and watch you die?" she asked at last.

"I won't die. I promise. If you promise not to go."

She saw no point of arguing with me and only requested me to eat her soup that she had prepared. My high body temperature was killing me, and I had hard time swallowing, but I tried my best to show my eagerness, even scraping out the pot to finish her soup.

I would never suspect that she would drug me into sleep later. When I realized her trick, I was already losing consciousness. I was blacked out for more than a day, and when I opened my eyes the next evening, I found Katniss lying next to me in a scary pool of blood. The deep cut she got on her forehead was terrifying.

Whatever she had shot into my arm before her collapse had done the trick. Most of the swelling in my left leg was gone now. I quickly bandaged her head, and the knowledge of all the risks she must have undertaken to rescue my life brought tears to my eyes.

My appetite came back too, and I actually gobbled down the groosling she had offered me in the past, which I had refused before. They were so tasty that I couldn't stop eating, so I knew I was recovering, thanks to Katniss.

The storm out there was pretty bad, and I saw rain drip through the holes in our cave. To avoid Katniss getting wet, I built something like a canopy over her head and upper body. Then I lay down next to her, watching her sleep.

It was so peaceful and quiet. I kept on stroking her cheek and resolved to take care of her until she became better. I had no idea how many more days I could spend with her, but I knew how much she meant to me and that I owed her my life.

When she finally opened her eyes from her sleep, I was so relieved. She was very weak still, but after giving her something to eat and water to drink, she seemed better. Before long, she opened up and told me a lot of things that had happened to her since the beginning of the Games, including the feast she had just gone to. Again and again, she had barely avoided death.

After all she had been through, she finally said, like a small child, "I want to go home, Peeta."

"You will. I promise," I said and bent over to give her a soft kiss. Then she repeated her words, and I knew she must have missed her family. How wonderful it must be to have a loving family. Unlike mine.

She was willing to go back to sleep after that. I didn't know how long our respite could last, but I was content that I had her company in the meantime. Now that I had recovered from my injuries, the feeling that my days were numbered was not as strong as before. Yet one of us could have died next, and it could be me.

If any tribute happened to find us now, they could have killed us without much effort because we were both weak. Perhaps Katniss could use her bow and arrows to defend herself, but what did I get? Nearly nothing to defend myself. However, if any tribute was going to hurt both of us, I had determined to use my own body to shield Katniss from any weapons. My remaining strength would be able to last long enough for her to escape.

Or we could have died of hunger. We were starving, and the next day when we wondered what we should do to get Haymitch to send us some bread, Katniss unexpectedly reached out to take my hand. She mentioned something about the drug Haymitch had sent her to knock me out so that she could attend the feast. This reminded me that I hadn't yet told her my perspective of this whole incident.

"The problem is we're both alive, which only reinforces the idea in your mind that you did the right thing."

"I did do the right thing," she countered.

"No! Just don't, Katniss!" I said angrily, and I couldn't help but tighten my grip on her hand. "Don't die for me. You won't be doing me any favors. All right?"

She appeared startled by my fury, but what she said next puzzled me. "Maybe I did it for myself, Peeta, did you ever think of that? Maybe you aren't the only one who... who worries about... what it would be like if..."

Her sad look spoke much more than her stammering words, and I had simmered down just because of that. What was she trying to say to me?

"If what, Katniss?" I asked patiently, attempting to help her continue.

After a moment of struggle, she said evasively, "That's exactly the kind of topic Haymitch told me to steer clear of."

She was seemingly too bashful to explain further, and I couldn't be more rapturous. Was she fumbling to tell me that she didn't want to lose me?

"Then I'll just have to fill in the blanks myself," I heard myself say this before I moved in to her. I gently pulled her closer and pressed my mouth on hers. I had never kissed anybody like that before, as if this were the only time I could kiss the love of my life. This probably wasn't far from the truth because we couldn't predict how many days we had left.

What surprised me was that she accepted my kiss readily enough, and by the way she kissed me back I was more than certain that she also had strong feelings for me. We kissed passionately like there was no end, until I felt her blood dripping down my face.

So I gave her a light kiss on the tip of her nose and said to her, "I think your wound is bleeding again. Come on, lie down, it's bedtime anyway."

Yet we couldn't both sleep at the same time, and Katniss insisted on taking the first watch. Due to the extreme cold temperature, I urged her to snuggle with me inside the only sleeping bag available. As we settled in, I pulled her head down to use my arm as her pillow. Then I wrapped my other arm around her protectively before I closed my eyes. I didn't drift off right away because my mind was still filled with the sensation of our first real kiss. Yes, my dream had come true. The girl I had loved for so long finally reciprocated my feelings, and she was lying in my arms.

(to be continued...)

=o=o=o=

Writer's note:

Thank you for reading. Please note that this was totally my imagination of what went on in Peeta's head near the end of the first book in the trilogy. If you like it, please drop me a few words. Likewise, if you find any mistakes, please let me know too. Any feedback is more than welcome.