The Lord of the Shop
Blabla, not mine, etc…
Option A: He's dreaming. Option B: They're stuck inside a Harlequin book.
It must be an alien action. Or a machine. Or simply a dream. Or some pollen from another planet which acted like an aphro…no, now, he was going too far. To be honest, the why and how, he didn't care, provided it stopped soon.
"Seriously, am I the only one worried?"
"Yes you are, Harkness." A knight in a shining armour answered. "I'm surprised; I'd thought you'll be the first to take advantage of it. Stop laughing, Tosh, you're out of character!"
The young woman hid her face behind Owen's back, trying unsuccessfully to stop giggling. It wasn't even the kind of clothes she'd wear normally; a long torn skirt and a plunging neckline slightly misleading. She wasn't the only one with a strange and deceptive outfit. Owen never had thighs like that. No Earthling had thighs like that.
"Yes, ô my valiant knight!"
"No, no, I'm almost certain I just kidnapped you."
"Oh yeah, right. Wait, I'll try for scared but excited."
She managed a somewhat result before embracing Owen, who brandished a sword and sent his horse to something looking to a castle, if its plans were conceived by a six-years old girl who just discovered glitter.
Jack gave up to try the rest of the team, installed in a field surrounded by a cardboard forest, as unprofessional as the two others. And no, seriously, he was well placed to know it, Ianto didn't have a body this muscular. And this colour was really unflattering for Gwen.
"Oh my love, I wanted to promise my eternal fidelity to you, but there was a promotion, I had to leave earlier!" The young woman said tearfully.
She was half-lounged on a tree trunk, a hand on her heart, her face a picture of grief. Well, it was the expected effect. The tears of laugh were spoiling the result. Ianto fell on his knees and his shirt torn open. There was at least one good thing in this craziness for Jack.
"But, why am I not enough? What do you want?!" He said, hurt. "I can give you everything you want! Or at least, you could have shared the promotion."
Gwen moved, now completely on the tree, the hand lifted theatrically on her forehead. Ianto let himself fall on her, hands on the trunk to not crush her, a few centimetres only between their faces.
"If only it was this easy! But the father of the uncle of the cousin of the hairdresser of the baker of the King doesn't want to leave me alone! And I'll share my toys if you share yours."
Ianto get up holding Gwen against his chest, while she was taking another ridicule expression.
"The father of the uncle of the cousin of the hairdresser of the baker of the King? But it's my twin brother lost during the winter 1023's sales! I'm sure I can convince him to let us be together in peace! Or I'll kill him, I don't know, I don't the script yet."
Gwen sat up normally.
"And for the sharing? My toys with yours?"
"I'm sure it's doable."
Jack was a little worried of the way they were smiling to each other and he did want to react. Honestly, he was going to stop them, wake them up, anything to stop this circus. Really, it was his plan.
But the way they both turned toward him, the promises in their eyes…it wasn't his fault! If someone asks, it was the aliens.
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