Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this fanfiction except the 'original characters', the fanfiction scenario / plot, and the fanfiction writing itself. "Naruto", and all related characters and characteristics, remain the property and rights of Kishimoto Masashi.

A/N: Happy Valentine's, Hidan-sensei! Sorry I forgot to sign the card. Reviews are highly appreciated!

I--I

"What is...that?"

"What the hell does it look like? It's a box."

"I can see that it's a box.", the Falls-nin replied coolly. "But where did you get it?"

"I found it. Seriously, you'd think people would be more careful, instead of dropping their shit on the ground where anyone can pick it up."

Having completed the final phase of yet another successful bounty-hunting mission, Kakuzu and Hidan were in the process of returning to the Akatsuki headquarters, venturing somewhere around the hazy outskirts of Kemurigakure no Sato. Assisting the incompetent patrons of the Kemuri government was always easy cash, seeing as how the amateur village was completely incapable of handling all the work themselves. Of course, to Kakuzu, fast money was the best kind out there; it was the kind of assignment he would have gladly carried out on his own.

Hidan was only there because of the Akatsuki's strict 'no solo missions' protocol.

To avoid the risk of the needless conflicts his partner was notorious for initiating, Kakuzu had instructed Hidan to wait outside while he collected the reward and 'completed the transaction', as he liked to put it. As previously assured, Kakuzu arrived with the money a few minutes later...only to find Hidan holding a bright pink, palm-sized box upon his return.

…he really didn't want to know.

"Put it back where you found it.", he said plainly as he walked past, not even taking a second glance.

"Why the hell should I?"

Kakuzu shot an intent glare at his teammate. It should have been obvious that he didn't want to create any unnecessary inconveniences now that their task was complete; the last thing they needed was some flying accusations of thievery before they managed to cross the border.

"Because you shouldn't take things that don't belong to you."

"Aren't you the noble one?", Hidan said, smirking uncertainly. "You just killed an ambassador, for God's sake, and here you are giving me lectures on morality? You're such a hypocrite, you know that?"

Kakuzu stops in his tracks. "Wait a minute."

"...what?"

The Shinobi's dark emerald eyes narrowed suspiciously as he turned to re-examine the mysterious package in his partner's hands. The innocent-looking box was covered with pink wrapping paper, gently tied shut with a crimson ribbon, and had a small bow affixed to the top of the cover.

But it was something attached to the package that caught his attention.

"What?", Hidan repeated impatiently.

"What's that?"

"What's what, damn it?"

"That paper.", Kakuzu pointed out. "It looks like some kind of tag."

Hidan turned the box around to reveal a small paper slip tied carefully around the bow.

'To: Hidan
From:'

'They named him...', thought Kakuzu, immediately realizing what it could implicate. 'They addressed him directly.'

An unfamiliar gleam of curiosity sparked in Hidan's eyes as he read his name on the label.

"It's a fucking gift?", he asked, sounding half-amused. "Who the hell could it be from?"

Kakuzu, on the other hand, had a pretty good idea who might have sent the package. The 'incidental' occurrence that his teammate just happens to find a package laying on the ground right after a well-deserved-yet-reluctantly-given monetary gain was much too questionable to be a mere coincidence.

...no wonder Hidan didn't suspect anything.

"Give me the box.", Kakuzu ordered, his eyes glinting dangerously.

"Yeah, right.", he scoffed. "Get your own goddamn box."

"Give me the box, Hidan."

"Fuck off, Kakuzu; it's mine."

"You don't understand...", he said slowly. "It could be dangerous. How would whoever sent you this package know your name and exactly where to find you? Why would they leave the tag unsigned? Why would someone send you a gift?"

"Plenty of fucking reasons!", Hidan exclaimed, suddenly sounding offended.

"Name one."

"Maybe it's 'cause I'm such a great guy."

"Don't flatter yourself.", he replied sharply. "You have no way of finding out what's inside that package without opening it. It's not unheard of for bounty hosts to set up death traps in order to secure a strict secrecy of the transaction, to prevent future cases of extortion, or even to retract their final payments."

"A death trap.", Hidan muttered, looking incredulous. "With a pink bow on top."

"The wrapping is inconspicuous enough to make you open it in the first place. We're dealing with Kemuri agents, remember? Just get rid of the box."

"Give me a break, Kakuzu...", he said, rolling his eyes. "You're being way paranoid, seriously."

"Maybe you just aren't paranoid enough."

"Listen, asshole. It's my fucking choice because it's my fucking box. If it is a fucking time bomb, then it is my fucking time bomb. Seriously, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that you were just jealous I got a box and you didn't."

Kakuzu gave a heavy sigh, finding himself becoming increasingly unsettled towards the prospect of his partner carrying that package around. Anytime Hidan ever managed to do something stupid, Kakuzu was always the one left to pick up the pieces...luckily for the Jashinist, Kakuzu was still basking in the comforting afterglow of claiming a large cash reward; he was in much too good of a mood to start an argument with his half-witted teammate.

"Take the damned box with you if you want to.", he said finally. "Just don't open it in front of me, alright?"

"Whatever.", Hidan smirked, slipping the box inside of his cloak. "It's not like I need your fucking permission, seriously."

"Come on, then.", Kakuzu said, walking ahead to maintain a considerable distance from his teammate. "We have to report back to headquarters."