Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter... Any idiot could figure that out!

Author's Note: ENJOY THIS ONESHOT AND REMEMBER TO REVIEW!

One very dark night, Harry, Ron and Hermione were sitting down at the Gryffindor Common Room at 4 am. Harry and Ron were playing Exploding Snap while Hermione was working on some Arithmetic problems. This went on for about half an hour until Ron made a comment that will change the rest of their lives:

"Hermione, want to give me a blowjob?" asked Ron, looking lustfully at Hermione.

Hermione, being the whore that she is, said: "Of course Ickles Ronniekins!"

Harry didn't know what to say: He secretly wanted a blowjob from Ron, but he was too "gloopie" to make that comment.

"Let's do it in the Great Hall!" giggled Ron.

At that comment, Hermione had a joyful vaginal discharge, that impressed both Harry and Ron,

The trio stepped out of the Common Room, all under Harry's invisibility cloak, trying not to awake the Fat Lady. This trip was the most dangerous thing Harry had done with his friend: Ron nearly orgasmed 10 feet away where Snape was, and Hermione's tampon stash got lost up Mrs. Norris' ass.

As they finally reached the entrance to the Great Hall, Harry noticed a dark silhouette moving up and down on top of another silhouette.

"Lumos" whispered the horny Hermione.

For some reason, that spell had no visible effect.

"Oops!" giggled Hermione, "I forgot that my wand was in my vagina! Oh wait... that's just Ron's penis!"

Harry wanted to see, but he decided otherwise. He got his own wand out (No Pun Intended) and whispered "Lumos".

Harry emitted light from his wand to a 10 feet radius (Still, No Pun Intended). In the outskirts of the wand light, you could definitely see what was going on: Winnie the poo was on top of none other than Draco Malfoy, bouncing on his wand (Pun Intended). They didn't seem to notice that Harry, Ron and Hermione were watching this horrific scene, and for some reason, Harry noticed that Malfoy seemed to enjoy sleeping with bears. Hermione also seemed to notice too that Malfoy was enjoying the rape/orgy. Nonetheless, Hermione shrieked, perhaps just to get some attention. You know, Hermione, that attention whore. However, Harry was intrigued and wanted to join that very odd orgy. Yet, Ron already had taken off his pants and decided to join Winnie and Draco.

"WHAT ABOUT THE BLOWJOB!!!" screeched Hermione, sounding like a wild Banshee.

"Oh, jeeze!" said Harry, in an annoyed tone.

Suddenly, Harry got a brilliant idea! Yes, I know, he has very few of those. What If..., Harry thought, what if I just join this orgy! I mean, I've always wanted to have sexual relations with Winnie the Poo... and Malfoy, for that matter. What was he thinking?!? Harry suddenly snapped out of it and decided to get a teacher.

"Hermione, we have to get a teacher!" said Harry, looking like a hobo.

"Gah...Aoa... I mean, sure!" said Hermione, looking like a sexual predator.

Harry obviously noticed that Hermione wanted to join the threesome. Nevertheless, Harry kicked her rear for no apparent reason. Hermione didn't seem to notice.

"Hermione, you get a teacher and I'll fetch Dumbledore!" yelled Harry.

"Alright" said Hermione running out of the Great Hall.

Harry ran up a couple staircases, turned a couple of halls, raped a couple mice and finally, he was in front of the gargoyle, guarding Dumbledore's office. Suddenly, Harry realized that he did not know the password to enter Dumbledore's office. The only thing to do is to guess a couple sweets.

"Sherbet Lemon" he guessed.

Nothing happened.

"What am I going to do?! There's a sex orgy—"

All of the sudden, the gargoyle stepped aside, leaving the path open for Harry. Harry finally realized that Dumbledore's password was sex orgy.

Harry climbed up the stairs, three steps at a time, and then fell all the way down the stairs.

"(&)(()(!!!!" Harry swore!

Harry climbed the stairs once again and reached the griffin door-knob. Harry twisted the door-knob and the door opened. What he saw was scary: Dumbledore hand his right hand down his robe, moving in a vertical fashion.

"Er... Professor?" said Harry.

Dumbledore seemed like he was masturbating over the oil painting of Professor Dippet, the ex-headmaster. Rapidly, he stopped this and looked guiltily at Harry.

"It seems that the fox has caught the goose..." said Dumbledore, sheepishly.

"What are you talking about?!?!" yelled Harry.

"Never mind. Anyways, what do you want?" mumbled Dumbledore.

"THERE AN ORGY GOING ON DOWNSTAIRS" yelled Harry.

Dumbledore's eye twinkled and lit up into a piercing blue. He ran out of the room, and Harry noticed that he was taking his robes off as he was running down the stairs. Harry rushed after him, but he was no competition for a horny old man. When Harry finally reached the entrance of the Great Hall, he heard squealing in a nearby classroom. Harry pushed the classroom door open and saw something excruciating: Hermione was raping a band of house elves.

"I WANT TO GIVE YOU PLEASURE, YOU POOR HOUSE ELVES!" shrieked Hermione, while raping four house elves at a time.

Harry shuddered and slowly shut the door so that he won't have to ask Hermione about that event. Harry opened the door of the Great Hall, and saw a gigantic orgy, containing Winnie the Poo, Malfoy, Ron, Dumbledore, Mrs. Norris, Mr. Filch, Crabbe, Goyle, and even Fred and George.
Come to think of it, Harry had joined the orgy too...

Author's Comment: So, how was it? Was it perverted enough? Remember to review and tell me that I am your hero, that you want to give me pleasure or that I am a sick pervert.