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AN: This is just a quick little story I did for a contest. I'm not gonna say what the contest was for because it isn't really open to everyone. Sorry. Anyway, this takes place around the time of the invasion of the palace so, I took the liberty of not including everything that was going on. For one, I didn't want to write everything. Two, I wanted to keep this story short and describing everything that happened would take up a good chunk of the last half. Also, I'm sorry for not updating the Redux recently. If you want to find out more, go to my facebook page ( /authorjaynavi). And yes, I did promise a new v-day fic this year. Sorry about that, too. Just having some difficulty with it... Anyway, enjoy this short story.
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My Kiss Did That?
"You have it easy, Killua."
What?
"You're so calm."
Calm? How can you say I'm calm?
"Since this means nothing to you."
It took a moment to register what Gon had just said to me. When it finally registered, it felt as if he had just stabbed my heart with my own hand. I clenched my hands at my side and fought back the tears that were forming in my eyes. Why was he saying these things? Isn't what he was saying now the exact opposite of what he had said only two days ago?
Gon, I thought, This means everything to me.
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Two days before the invasion of the palace, Gon and I were with Ikalgo - an octopus Chimera Ant that had saved my life and became my friend - in an abandoned house somewhere in the forest waiting for the right time to move. Every hour, we went through our strategy for when we invaded: Gon and I would head to the throne room and draw away Neferpitou while Ikalgo went to the elevator to meet up with Palm. Other than that, there was practically nothing to do. One of us, either Gon or myself, would leave every couple hours to scout the area and see if any Chimera Ants were around. If there were, we would all leave and find a different location. There was no need to get into any unnecessary fights. We'd always return within ten minutes.
It was dark when I left for my last scouting of the day. The forest seemed so thick in the dark. Any normal person would have a hard time seeing in it. Fortunately, my training as an assassin had sharpened my eyes. I could see for a long distance, though admittedly not as far as Gon could see in the dark, and I was able to make out shadows. If anything moved unnaturally, I'd be able to tell. I stopped at the end of the scouting route and looked around for any signs that somebody other than me was out there. There weren't any signs. I turned and ran back to the house.
As I got closer to he house, I noticed a shape standing in front of the door. My instincts told me to be cautious, but even from far away I could tell the shape was familiar to me. A little closer and I was able to recognize that it was Gon standing in front of the door. He noticed me and waved. I stopped in front of him.
"What are you doing?" I asked, "I thought we agreed that the person who wasn't scouting was to stay inside the house."
"Yeah," Gon said, "We did agree that but…"
"'But?'" I repeated.
"But there's something I wanted to say to you," Gon said, "In private."
"Okay." I said, a little annoyed.
This kid hardly ever got straight to the point. And when he did, it was as blunt as a baseball bat. I waited for him to say what he was going to say patiently. If I rushed him, it'd just take longer. While I was waiting, I noticed that Gon wasn't really acting like himself. He was fidgeting and acting really nervous. It wasn't like him at all.
Before I could ask him why he was acting that way, he grabbed my shirt and spun me around. His grip loosened on my shirt so much as he was spinning me, that he let go and my back hit against the door of the house. I opened my eyes after the impact and was ready to cold him, but before I could, I saw his head coming close to mine. The next thing I felt was something against my lips. It took me a second to realize that it was his lips against mine. He was…Gon was kissing me!
I didn't know what to do. My mind was racing at what seemed like a billion words per second. Not sure if it was the right choice or not, I pushed Gon away from me. He lost his balance and fell down. However, all I could think about was what he had just done. My mind was still racing for a solution. I couldn't let Gon see how confused I was so I tried to act normal.
"The hell was that for!?" I yelled out the only thing I could think of.
"Tomorrow," Gon said, getting up and brushing himself off, "We're going to be face to face with Neferpitou again." There was a pause and I thought it was best to keep silent. Gon continued, "I'm not sure how I'll react to seeing him again. I might lose my temper. That's why…" Another pause, and then, "That's why I wanted to tell you now. I wanted to tell you… that I love you!"
I was surprised. I really wasn't expecting Gon to say that. My mind was racing even faster, trying to find something to say. I was still sorting out my feelings for Gon so I couldn't tell him that I loved him, too. I had to find a way to think. Was it even possible to avoid him? At that moment, I came up with an idea that would give me some time at least.
"I…" I began, "I'm a little tired; I-I'm going to bed."
Gon was silent for a minute while I turned around to open the door. Finally, he said, "Oh." He sounded a little disappointed. "A-alright, Killua. Good night. I'll see you in the morning."
I could tell he was trying to act cheerful, but it still sounded like he was disappointed. "Yeah," I said, "see you tomorrow."
I stepped inside and closed the door behind me. Sudden anger welled up inside of me. I wanted to lash out at myself for being so stupid. My best friend just confessed his feelings for me and all I could do was brush him off! I wanted to punch something!
I almost did, but I saw Ikalgo staring at me. I put on a fake smile and told him I was alright. I said I was just tired and needed sleep. So, I laid down on the floor where I had slept previously, but I didn't close my eyes. I was still confused and mad at myself. I mean, I liked Gon, and I liked being with him. But did I actually love him?
I knew I had to search my feelings for Gon. I wanted to tell him that I loved him but I didn't know if it was true. I needed more time to think. It was just too sudden! Why was I so stupid!? I heard the door open but I didn't hear Gon's footsteps enter then the door closed. Ikalgo must have gone outside. I got up and went to the door. When I opened it, I saw Gon and Ikalgo sitting a little ways away, talking. I didn't need to get closer to hear them.
"So," Ikalgo said, "did you tell him?"
Tell me?
"Yeah," Gon said.
"And did he tell you?" Ikalgo asked.
Did Gon talk to Ikalgo about what he had said to me?
"No," Gon said, "It was my fault."
What?
"What?" Ikalgo's response was as sudden as mine.
"I forced it on him," Gon reasoned, "If I had waited a little longer…or maybe I should have told him sooner."
Sooner? Just how long has Gon known about his feelings for me? I started to relive all the times we had together and started to question if that was when Gon had figured them out. I reasoned that it couldn't have been when we were going through the Hunter Exam or when we met up at my house. Yet, part of me didn't want to dispute those moments as the moment when Gon knew his feelings.
"Now," Gon continued, "I doubt he wants to be near me. He only has to be because of the mission."
"That's not true!" Ikalgo said what I was thinking, "I might not have known Killua as long as you, but I can tell that he is happy when you're around. Give him a little more time. I'm sure you will have an answer."
Gon put a finger to his face, I assume to wipe away a tear, and said, "Thanks, Ikalgo. I feel much better."
Gon…
The next couple days went by as if everything was normal and that night didn't happen. Finally, it was time to move out. Everyone that was invading gathered around the door as Morel counted down. I looked in Gon's direction and I noticed something in his eyes. It looked like sadness. Was he still upset that I hadn't answered him? Or was it for a completely different reason?
I didn't have long to think about it because Morel opened the door and everybody moved out and into the palace. Everything happened so fast that I could only focus on one thing: following Gon. I had to follow him. It was the only way I could find out the truth.
At last, we were once again face to face with Neferpitou. Pitou, the one we had seen that day in the forest. The one who had made Kite into what seemed like a mindless puppet, only acting on orders given to him. The one that Gon wanted revenge on.
It was strange. Even though we were standing in front of Pitou, he didn't seem to be in an offensive stance. Instead, he was hovered over the body of a girl. Gon started yelling at Pitou and I tried to calm him down. He yelled at me and was charging up his Nen to unleash an attack on Pitou.
"Gon," I said, "If you kill Pitou now, Kite won't ever come back to normal."
Gon stopped charging his Nen. He stood straight up and said, "Yeah. I'm calm now. You have it easy, Killua."
I was somewhat taken aback by his words, but I didn't say anything.
"You're so calm."
Calm? I wasn't calm. I was freaking the hell out! My best friend was standing in front of me but acting like a totally different person! How is that calm?
"Since this means nothing to you."
Nothing? It means… nothing? I clenched my hands and fought back tears. Was he saying that because he thought I didn't share his feelings? I couldn't wait any longer. I had to make a decision or I would lose my best friend forever.
As Gon started to walk away from me, I reach out my hand and grabbed his arm. He struggled to get his arm loose, but I pulled on it and spun him around. I caught him in a big embrace close to my body. I held him tight.
"Gon," I whispered in his ear, "I wasn't sure of my feelings when you had kissed me. I…I'm still not sure of them even now." I felt tears start falling down my cheeks. "But…I just… I don't want to lose you. Your kiss made me realize that I need you with me."
I felt Gon's hands move around my back as he whispered, "My kiss did that?"
It seemed as though I had the old Gon back so I smiled and said, "Yes, you idiot. Gon, if you want me to love you - the way you love me - then I will. I will, as long as we face Pitou together."
"Killua…" Gon paused, "Of course."