Chandler walked into his empty apartment, slamming the door teary eyed

CAUTION: Mushand more mush. :) I love it!

It's not my best, just short and sweet. Purely for your entertainment, it's not a series, and it's emotional. Enjoy!

(AN: The double " things are spoken words. Single ' ones are thoughts only.)

These characters don't belong to me.

Chandler walked into his empty apartment, slamming the door teary eyed. Monica was still at work and he was kind-of glad. He didn't want her to see him like this. He opened the refrigerator door and took out a beer and slammed the door with his leg. He rested his head against the door for a second. As he stepped back he opened his beer and downed it. He crushed the can in his hands as tears slid down his face. He throws the empty can violently against the wall and collapses into a chair, putting his face into his hands, sobbing.

"I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry. Fuck! I'm not going to cry!" Chandler yelled to himself as tears poured down his face. He slammed his fist down on the table as he started calmed down. He looked at his watch and slowly picked the can up off of the floor. He knew Monica would freak if she saw it there. He wiped his face with the bottom of his shirt and lifted it above his head as he walked into the bathroom. Once in the bathroom he removed his pants and boxers. He violently shoved them into the laundry hamper. His rubbed his hands down his face and stepped into the shower, letting, burning hot water run all over his body. He barely reacts, grimacing slightly. Tears continue to roll down his face as he leans weakly against the shower wall. He stands in there for what seems to be hours. He hears the apartment door close and he quickly snaps out of it. He quickly washes his hair and body and rinses it. As he gets out of the shower he looks into the mirror. His eyes are red. He immediately pulls out eye drops from the drawer and fills his eyes. He splashes cold water on his face. A little better he thinks to himself. He wraps the towel around his waist and tries his best to smile into the mirror. Quickly realizing that this was going to be harder than he thought. While trying to smile again, Monica knocks on the door.

"Chandler, honey I'm home."

"Okay. I'm almost out. How was your day?" 'Did my voice crack? Did she notice?' Chandler thought to himself.

"It was great! How was-"

Chandler quickly reacted and turned the sink on. "I'm sorry, honey, I can't hear you over this water. I'll be out in a second."

He heard the TV come on. Relieved he wiped his face one last time and walked out.

Monica got up and greeted him with a kiss to the mouth. Steering the conversation away from him and his day, Chandler started talking.

"Hey, is this that new talk show everyone is talking about?"

Monica looked at Chandler worried. Ignoring his question, "Chandler have you been drinking?"

'Damn I forgot to brush my teeth.' "Umm yeah. I had a beer a few minutes ago."

"Your face is really hot. Are you feeling okay?" Monica said putting her hands against his face.

Chandler began to get a little nervous and walked to the couch, causing Monica's hands to drop. She followed.

"Yeah I feel fine. It is a little warm in here though."

Sitting beside Chandler, concerned. "Maybe you should just get some sleep. You don't look to well."

Relieved Chandler agreed. "You know honey, that's a great idea. I am tired."

Monica smiled suggestively. "I can also help you feel better."

'Mayday! Mayday!' Not that Chandler didn't want to, he REALLY wanted to, he just knew under the circumstances he'd wouldn't be able to focus. She'd definitely know something was wrong then. He didn't want to trouble her with his problems. "I may be contagious. I wouldn't want you to catch whatever I have."

"Always thinking of others." Monica smiled. "That's one of the many things I love about you." With that she kissed him on the lips and led him to the bedroom. "I'll be out here if you need anything."

"Thank you honey." Chandler walked into the bedroom and closed the door. He hit the bed and buried his head in his pillow. He could feel tears forming.

Outside, Monica sat staring at the bedroom door. Something was very wrong with Chandler. She just couldn't figure out what. He turned down sex. Yep, something was definitely wrong. She rose and walked to the door tapping lightly.

Startled Chandler wiped his eyes and sat up as Monica walked in.

"Hey honey. Were you asleep?" Monica asked gently.

"Just about but it's okay." Chandler lied.

Monica walked over to Chandler and laid down on top of him. She kissed him on the lips.

"I decided, I want to be with you, right now, tonight. And I don't care if I get sick."

Chandler wasn't sure what to do. He flashed a smile. It was very fake but fooled Monica. She leaned in and kissed him passionately. Seeing that he was already undressed, Monica took her shirt off. When she looked back down at Chandler he was starring at the ceiling. 'Something is definitely wrong.' Monica thought to herself. She leaned in and kissed Chandler, snapping him back into reality. Her rolled her over and began to clumsily kiss her neck. Monica noticed that he wasn't smiling at all, nor did he seem to be getting any sort of excitement.

"Chandler." Monica said as Chandler mumbled sorry and put a little more effort into it.

"No Chandler. Stop."

Chandler lifted his head and looked at her with sad expression.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You obviously don't want to do this. Just please tell me what's wrong." Monica pleaded.

Chandler looked at her as if he was about to break. His expression went from sad to a very fake happy. Monica knew it was fake this time.

"Nothing is wrong Monica. I want to do this." 'Sex or tell her.' Forcibly Chandler says, "Okay let's do this. I messed up, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I am now. Let's do this."

Before Monica could reply Chandler was pressed firmly against her. Hands on the side of her face, not allowing her movement. As his head slid down to her chest she finally got to talk.

"Chandler, please stop."

Pausing briefly, obviously tearing up. Sternly, "I'm focusing now. Nothing's wrong." Chandler returned to kissing her. She starts crying as she feels warm tears on her stomach.

"Get off Chandler. Please."

Refusing to give in Chandler continues kissing her lower and lower.

"Please stop this Chandler." Monica tried to sit up. As she does Chandler presses his body against hers laying her back down. His face in her neck.

"Chandler, stop this now!" Monica pleads crying into his hair. She whispers, "I love you. Please stop this. You are scaring me. Talk to me."

Chandler stops moving and slowly lifts his head; looking into Monica's tear filled eyes. Tears are streaming down his face.

"I'm sorry." Chandler says as he breaks down crying. "I am so sorry."

Monica wipes his tears not worrying about her own. "Please tell me what's wrong sweetheart. Please" Monica pleads one last time crying harder.

Chandler gazes into her eyes and looks down. Softly, "My dad, d-died." Chandler cries harder as he spits the words out. He finds Monica's hair and cries into it. Monica shuts her eyes tightly, causing a tear to fall. Seeing him this upset broke her heart. Rubbing his bare back, she pulls him into a hug. She kisses his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry honey." She says as she kisses his head.

"I didn't want to upset you." Chandler chokes out in a whisper as he finds Monica's ear.

She turns her face so she is face to face with Chandler. Monica places her hands on either side of his face, wiping his tears with her thumbs. "Oh Chandler. I love you so much. I want to know these things that upset you because I am a part of you now whether you like it or not. And when you are upset, I am upset, and I'm sorry honey, but that's how it is." Chandler looks at her and places his hands on her cheeks now wiping her eyes. "And I'm so sorry about your dad."

"Thank you for being here for me Mon. I don't know what I'd do without you. You are seriously all I have."

"Chandler, that's not true. You have Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel. And every last one of us loves you dearly."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

THE END

Please review. I got bored with essays and wrote this on the spur of the moment so I won't be upset if you don't like it! It sucks, I know! Thanks for reading!