~ like ice & fire ~
on the edge of our dreams we meet
on the edge of our hearts we jump.
on hiding & happiness
Sometimes—only sometimes—all you want to do is hide into a hole and never ever show up again. Because you think it's too much, because you know it's too much. And sometimes you can't handle it, and maybe if you hid, everything would be easier. But you know things are never this easy to do, so you just bottle everything up and hold your head high, because that's the only thing you can really do.
At times, when no one is paying attention to you (loneliness), you try to hide away. You've thought of hurting yourself at times, but you know it'll do you no good. Hurting physically would only bring release for a while; then, the wounds would heal on the outside, but on the inside you would still be hurt. Besides, you think people would notice if you showed up at school with scars—Coach made sure none of her girls got themselves hurt for stupid reasons. So you just try to hide away from everyone else and cry. Because you never really cry, and, even though it doesn't help you much, it's something to feel.
Because you bring yourself to feel so much and, at the same time, to feel nothing, so things get confused on your mind—what should you do, what people expected you to do?
Sometimes—only sometimes—you wish you never existed.
-:-
When she was young (more naïve), people told her that true love struck you like a train-wreck. It is unstoppable, breath taking and sometimes made your chest tight so hard that you feel like you might explode. She had laughed at the idea of someone exploding because it loved so much, and said that the only thing she wanted was not to explode.
Now, that she is older (naïve), she still hasn't felt like a train had hit her. She was happy and excited and had everything she loved right beside her. At times, she would feel like her chest would explode with the amount of happiness she carried around, but she didn't, and, for that, she tried to make everyone happy too because she was oh, so relieved that she didn't explode.
Her mom would sometimes be as happy as she was, and they would dance and do so many things together that all she wished was that her mom was like that all the time. But sometimes things weren't so bright for her mom, and she wish it was. So she just tries to make her mom smile even if it's the smallest of smiles, and when her mom gives her that tiny shy smile, she knows her task of the day has been accomplished.
She's just happy; has everything she wanted for.
But sometimes—briefly—she feels like she's missing something.
A/N: Hey there! How you doing? Hope you liked this. I know it's awfully short, but…well, it's the introduction. I kind of couldn't make it longer without messing this up (and I bet it's kind of messy already!), and I kind of couldn't have jumped it and start with the story already. Sorry for that. But I wanted to know if you liked this; so, tell me what you think!: even if it's two words, alright? Hahaha. Maybe I'll explain more about it later, if you guys like it…depends on you!
Oh, before I forget: all mistakes are mine. I'm not an native English speaker, but I try my best—I swear I do. But some things escape my eyes, and I'm sorry for that.
Give me feedback so I know what you think! I would love to know what's going through your head (:
See you around!
(p.s.: the naïve word…my computer says it has this ¨ , but the internet says otherwise. Since I love this ¨, I'll keep it! This is the only thing that I'll keep that might or might not be wrong—since I've read this on both ways and still haven't pay so much attention to know what's the right one. Sorrys! See you!)