The Past Coming Back

by peacelovin

Daryl reflects on his life before the apocalypse when he's in the ravine. DarylxOC Rated M for language

This is my first Walking Dead fanfic so beware haha:) My favorite is Daryl so I wrote a one shot about him. Enjoy!
P.s. Comments/reviews are accepted

Disclaimer: I don't own the Walking Dead

I had made it to a house that looked promising in my search for the little girl. I went inside and started calling out Sophia's name. No one answered my calls. Just my luck. I looked around the dilapidated house and found a closet that looked like Sophia was there at some point. But there was no Sophia. I lost it then. I lost all fucking control over my anger. I just needed to let it out though. We had been looking for her for what felt like forever, and she was nowhere to be found. It was starting to really piss me off. I mean, how hard is it to find a little twelve-year-old girl that has no idea where to go? Fucking hard, I tell you. Fucking hard.

I picked up the lone chair in the room and flung it across the room. I was fed up with this shit. Zombies could just go fuck themselves. They were ruining everybody's life. Including my own. I had kept it together for so long that I was bound to break down sometime soon. I know a man isn't supposed to show his feelings because it's 'nobody's goddamn business', but once somebody's alone, things change. One doesn't have to hide things from people or keep a strong hold on their ever-stoic facial expression. They can let their feelings fly and break down if need-be. And I think I am on my way to rock bottom. I had already hit rock bottom before when my wife, Genevieve, died. That was terrible, but I had to keep it together for our baby girl, Charlotte (A.K.A. Charlie.) Genevieve, A.K.A. Genny, died when Charlie was about one.

I had found her sitting in a rocking chair next to Charlie's crib the night she died. I walked into Charlie's room looking for Genny and went over and saw both of my beautiful girls sleeping. I leaned against the painted door jam and watched them sleep. I know that sounds like a creeper, but it was such a beautiful sight. They both looked so peaceful. The sight made me give a small smile. The mobile that was spinning over Charlie's crib was the only thing making a sound as it played a lullaby. Which was strange because when Genny slept, she made noises because she breathed deeply and sometimes talked in her sleep. She wasn't making any noises. I rushed over to her because I was concerned. She tended to be a loud breather in her sleep. I took hold of her hand. Her usually above average warm hands were now cold as ice and she wasn't breathing. I checked her pulse. This can't be happening, was all I could think, It's not your time to go. We still have to raise our baby girl! We still need to go to that bingo night with you're mom and grandmother. We had so many other things we wanted to do before she slipped away from this world and into the next. When I confirmed that she was dead, all I could do was hold her hand and sit on the ground and silently cry so I didn't wake up Charlie. I had probably sat there for an hour before I did anything.

Once I had gotten the strength and courage to get up, I picked up Genny and took her to our bedroom and laid her down on the bed. I crossed her arms and put pennies on her eyes. She had told me to do this when she died. It was a religious thing to her. I never really understood it but I did as I was instructed because one just didn't disrespect a person's dying wishes. She was laying on our bed wearing one of my sweatshirts that she stole daily and some leggings and a blue bandana over her bald head. That had been her signature look for the past six months. Chemo had done a number on her and it had made her tired. She always said that it was the most comfortable thing she could wear. I never argued or complained. She looked beautiful in whatever state she was in. I think she was grateful that I didn't complain or argue with trivial issues like clothing. She already had her parents fussing over her. I just let her do what she wanted if it didn't hurt her. She was a stubborn woman and I loved her for it. She was just about as bull-headed as me, probably a little more.

I walked back into Charlie's room and picked her up out of her crib. She was fast asleep. Once she was asleep, it was hard to wake her up, much like her mama. I wanted us together for one more night, just one more night as a family. I took Charlie to our bedroom and laid her between me and Genny. I was letting the tears come down in a steady stream but I never made a sound.

I had no idea how I was going to raise her on my own or how I was going to explain it to Charlie that mommy was never coming back. She already knew how to say momma and dada. When she says momma, I'm probably going to get the same stab in my chest that I had now. I already knew it would be that way. Genny had been the only shining light in my life. When I found her, I knew that I would never love somebody more than her. Then we got married, had Charlie, and my love for Genny expanded; my love Charlie was just astronomical. I loved them both with a passion. When I found out that Genny had breast cancer, I immediately told her that we would make it through this together. I even promised. What a stupid thing to do, I shouldn't have promised. I always keep my promises and the one that matter most, I broke. I couldn't take it. I let out a loud, involuntary sob. I kissed Genny on the forehead and did the same to Charlie.

I fell asleep crying and holding my wife's hand and keeping my baby girl safe, nestled next to my chest.

I could still remember that night as clearly as if it were a few hours ago. It haunted my dreams every once in awhile, but not nearly as bad as the dream of my little Charlie.

It had been about two years after the outbreak and three years after Genny's death. I had left Charlie with Merle while I went hunting. Charlie and Merle got along unexpectedly well. Charlie's big green eyes that were the shade of evergreen needles always got to my brother. Also she was a tough little tyke and could play along with Merle's games. They always played tag or some shit like that. Once I had come back to them flow wrestling. That was enjoyable to watch. Charlie had wanted Merle to either keep doing it or teach me how to do it. I already knew how but she didn't know that. I told her that I knew how to. She ran over to me and recited off all these moves that she wanted me to do. It was one of the better days of the zombie apocalypse.

Merle and I alternated turns on hunting trips. That day was my turn. I usually went hunting for squirrel, but if I had found a big buck, I would track it and bring it back to camp. That day I had found a six-point buck and quickly started tracking it down. It had taken me most of the day to kill the big fuck. Its senses were on high alert, and I could barely get in range to kill it. I eventually got it, though.

I came back to camp in a happy mood, seeing as I had caught a buck and Charlie always liked petting the animals' fur. If it was long enough, she would braid it. Sometimes, they'd even be long enough to be made into a bracelet. She always gave me one. I still have them to this day. But when I got to the campsite, I saw that the tent was turned on its side and there were holes in the sides. I dropped the buck to the ground instantly and rushed over to the tent, assuming the worst. Inside the tent, there was blood smeared all over the walls and a little pool on the floor. Nobody was inside.

Then I heard the single gunshot.

The gunshot came from a little ways into the forest. I ran straight towards it. It sounded like the gunshot of Merle's pistol that he always kept on his person. In the forest, I saw Merle kneeling on the ground next to a body.

"Merle! What the fuck-," was all I got out before I saw that the body laying on the ground was my baby girl. "CHARLIE!" I screamed. I was so angry and heartbroken and terrified. It was a horrible combination. I dropped to my knees next to her and scooped up her lifeless body. I cradled her to me like she was more of a baby than she was. I noticed that she had a bullet wound in her forehead. That must've been where the gunshot noise came from. The gory wound had mauled her beautiful and youthful face. I ran my hand over her cheek. The tears were coming full force now. My tears were falling down on her chubby cheeks. They were covered in dirt and grime but she was still as pretty as ever. She would always be my beautiful baby girl. I didn't even care if Merle thought I was a pussy for crying so hard. He had never lost both of the people that mattered most to him in so little time. I rocked my baby back and forth and cried my eyes out. Merle attempted to take her away from me. I wasn't having that. "GO THE FUCK AWAY!" I knew I was being harsh and a major asshole, but I was in too much emotional unrest to care. I just wanted to be alone with my recently deceased daughter. Is that too much to ask? I think not. He lifted his hands in surrender like I was a mama bear protecting her cubs. Essentially, I was. I was doing a pretty shit job at it though. One of my cubs had succumbed to the big bad world of the undead apocalypse.

I had sat there for thirty minutes, probably, before my sobs quieted and I was calm enough to go back to Merle and the turned over camp. I picked her and myself off the forest floor and walked slowly back to camp. My crying had calmed down a little but there was still a steady stream that I was trying to stop. I was still carrying her the same way I would if she was alive. Her head was resting on my shoulder and her legs were wrapped around my waist. I refused to carry her bridal style because then her body would look even more lifeless and I would have her mauled face looking up at me. Even though she looked peaceful, I knew that she had just gone through hell. Plus the fact that I wasn't really accepting the fact that she was dead at the moment and seeing her face would just push me further into denial. Shock had set into my body too. I thought Merle would be a perfect guardian. Everything I learned, I learned from him. If he couldn't have kept her safe, then I couldn't have had done any better. Then I thought to myself that Genny would say that I'm much better than Merle and that I would have been the best father and protector of them all. She never did like Merle, and she was always curing my insecurities.

"She was bitten, right?" I needed it to be confirmed. I don't know why but I just did. It's one of those irrational things that people just wouldn't understand. I asked that question weakly to my brother. Merle just looked at me. "Answer the fucking question," I yelled at him. I was getting really pissed off at my older fucking brother.

"Yeah. I took care of it. She won't turn," Merle said to me. "My niece wasn't gonna turn in't'a one of dem fuckin' walkers." I nodded. I would have done the same. I understood why he did what he did.

"I'm gonna go bury her now," I informed him. Merle dropped what he was doing and grabbed a shovel. I shook my head. "I would rather I do it on my own, if ya don't mind." I grabbed the shovel out of his hand and walked into the forest. I laid her gently on the ground. I then started digging. I wasn't going to let any fucking walkers have any more snacks out of my baby girl. They'd had quite enough already. I found two sticks and tied them together in cross formation with some extra rope I had in my pocket. I slammed the cross into the ground, marking her grave.

Before I put her in her grave, I recited to her the chant her mama always said to her before she'd got to sleep and when she woke up. I gathered Charlie in my arms. I swiped a little curl out of her face.

"You is kind. You is smart. You is important." Genny always said that to her. She told me that her mama always said it to her when she was a baby and that her mama's maid always said it to her when she was little. I knew it was something that Genny would have appreciated. She was always into the little things in life. She was always telling me to enjoy the little things. I laid Charlie in her grave as gently as I could and completed the burial. "Say 'hi' to your mama for me, baby girl. I love you to the moon and stars."

Tears started to fall again. I wiped them away and put on a strong and emotionless face. I walked back to camp and told Merle he could go see her now. I figured that he could find it. I had made it pretty obvious.

Their two deaths had put me in a bad spot for a long while. I had gotten better by the time Merle and I hooked up with the Atlanta group. When Merle was left on the rooftop, I was more angry than anything. It was like I could never catch a break. Merle was all that I had left. Now that Merle, Charlie, and Genny were gone, I might as well help the people around me. I wasn't going be like them little cowardly fucks that offed themselves when they heard of the news. I was going to do right by my kin. Which meant finding Sophia and right now it seems as if I'll never find her. I headed out of the house and kept on my trail. On my trail, I found Sophia's doll on a creek bank. This was a step in the right direction. I kept on going. My travels led my horse into being spooked by a snake. It bucked me off and I hit my head. I was dizzy and not balanced. Because of that, I fell into the ravine next to where I was standing. On my tumble down, an arrow got lodged into my side. It hurt like a motherfucker. I saw that I was stuck in this ravine, injured, and that it would be a bitch to climb up the ravine wall. I ripped my sleeve off and dressed my wound as much as I could.

I was getting sleepy and delusional. I laid down on the bank in exhaustion. The blood loss wasn't helping my cause. The sun was glaring down on me, and the sun wasn't helping either. I closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened my eyes, Genny was standing over me. At first her face was really out of focus. I could barely tell it was her. I must have been hallucinating. Genny was dead.

"Gen," I let out in a questioning tone. What was she doing here?

"Hey babe," her light and airy voice floated to my ears. My ears felt deprived of food like them little African kids are deprived of good food and water. It felt as if I hadn't talked to her in forever. It seems like she was part of another life. She looked good right now. She had her long, wavy, red hair back. She didn't look sick at all actually. She looked as she did when we first met. Her face was youthful and bright, her eyes an intelligent green. You could see that she was smart and had a sense of humor from her eyes. Her eyes are what brought me in initially. But then I got to know her and eventually fall in love with her. Merle had been calling me pussy-whipped the whole fucking time we were together, even when we were married.

"You should probably try n' get up from this ravine n' back ta that mama at camp lookin' fer her baby girl," she told me with her evident Southern drawl. She had been from Jackson, Mississippi, and her accent was evidence of that. While it might've been down right off-putting on some people, it was cute on her.

"I know, love," I said to her. It felt so good talking to her again. She had a way of putting things that was her own special way. It didn't always make sense, but it was her.

"Just another suggestion." I looked over at her and reached for her hand. She took it. It felt so real. Her warmth that wasn't there the last time I held her hand was back. I remember that her hands were always uncommonly warm. I clasped her hand tightly and never wanted to let go. "You should take out that arrow so you can dress yer wound better. I thought Merle would'a taught cha that." I had to chuckled at her. She seemed so perplexed by the idea that Merle hadn't taught me something that pertained to survival. I'd told her everything, that included telling her about how it was Merle that practically raised me. He had a lot of influence on me. My mama wasn't around and my dad was just an alcoholic fuck-up that didn't deserve a place in our home. So, the task of taking care of me fell upon Merle. I tried my best to reciprocate the protection but he was never grateful for it. He always said that he was older and didn't 'need no goddamn lil' fuck lookin' af'r 'im'. Good for fucking him.

"What are you doin' here? Takin' a siesta?" Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Of course he has to come and cockblock me.

"I've had a shitty day, bro," I said to him. I looked over at Genny. She was looking at me with all the love in the world. I don't why or how she does it. I would never had thought that a girl like her would love a guy like me. She had always seemed too good for me. She reassured me all the time, though, that she wanted me and no one else. That did make me feel better. She always either had her nose in a book, or was outside by the lake. Often times, it was both. We first met at the lake. She was walking down the dock past me to get to her group of friends at the end of the dock, when she tripped over a raised board. I heard the thump behind me and rushed to help her up. When we made eye contact, it was love at first sight it seemed like. Yeah, I know, it's cheesy and cliché, but we had an unmistakeable connection. We found out that we actually had a lot in common. Thus, our beautiful relationship bloomed and Merle was always there to cockblock me, or make Genny mad. He was quite talented in both.

"Awe. Does wittl' baby bro need his feet rubbed," he said to me in a mocking baby voice. Genny was always quick with retorts, and she showcased that today.

"Screw you, ya twat plug," she hissed at him eloquently. Most of her insults went over Merle's head because she used words he didn't know. Sometimes I didn't even know some of the words she used. Most of them probably came from all the books she read. I knew what this one was though. She had called me it once when we were having a little bit of an argument and I had asked her what the fuck that meant and then she got all rambley about where she found it and stuff like that. I chuckled at her remark. Merle just narrowed his eyes at her.

"I knew yous was trouble," Merle said back to her. They never really got along to say the least.

"Hey, look at you! You finally showed me that you actually have a brain in that big, bald skull of yours! Do you have a headache now? Assuming that you've used up all of your brain juices for the day." She smirked at him. Half the time she was talking sarcastically. It was like her native tongue and just normal speaking was her second language.

"But it seems as if I'm not the one who's screwed here. It seems it would be our mutual friend Daryl got himself into a bit of a pickle," Merle said. He turned to me. "All this time trying to teach you how to be a man and this is what I get? You laying in the dirt next ta a creek in the middle of nowhere. I thought I taught you better than that. You're gonna die out here, baby brother. And for what exactly?"

"Carol. They lost a little girl," I whispered out weakly.

"Oh. So now you have a thing for little girls," he teased me. I glared at him.

"No. Shut up." I looked away from both of them. "She reminds me of Charlie." Merle's face dropped. He now knew why I was all gung-ho about this now. I still partly blame him for the death of Charlie.

"I see you ain't lookin for ol' Merle anymo'," he said to me in a whiney voice. He's trying to guilt trip me, that asshole!

"I tried like hell to find you. Ya shoulda stayed and Rick and I woulda found ya. Ya didn't have to run off. We did right by ya," I told him. I could feel Genny rubbing my arm. She was silently supporting me through the onslaught of insults that was my brother. She was sitting on the ground with me now. She was still in my sweatshirt and leggings though. I knew that if she had to chose to wear something for the rest of eternity it would be that. The sweatshirt was one of the ones she gave me for Christmas one year. It was a funny one too. It said, "I can't hear you. I got my head up my bass." It had a guy with a bass over his head next to the wording. It was always her favorite. I think part of the reason she got it was so she could wear it. Sneaky little she-devil. She had a way of passive-aggressively getting what she wanted. Bugged the shit outta Merle.

"Was this the same Rick that handcuffed me to the roof in the first place," he asked me angrily. "The man that made me cut off my own hand?"

"Ya didn't have to run and cut off ya hand there Merle," Genny said. She had an eyebrow cocked at him. She was a master at that too. Merle ignored her.

"Are you his bitch now," Merle asked me.

"I ain't nobody's bitch," I spat out angrily at him almost instantly.

"You're a joke. That's what you are," Merle informed me. "You're just a big joke to them. They're probably laughing their asses off back at camp. 'Daryl's gone crazy!' they're probably saying between laughin' fits. 'That redneck hick has gone crazy!' 'White hick trash'," he said to me. It was making me pissed at him and apparently Genny was pissed off too.

"Now yer just puttin ideas in his head," She yelled at Merle. She turned to me. "They's grateful for all you done. They probably wouldn't be alive witout you. I bet that mama is very grateful. You is the only one lookin' fer her lil' girl. If someone was looking for Charlie like you is fer tha lil' girl, I'd be very grateful," she caressed my cheek. "They need you at that camp. So come on and git up off the ground and get back to findin' tha' lil' girl. And like I always say to Charlie, you is kind. You is smart. You is important."

I smiled in contentment at her statement. She got up and started shaking my foot. I came out of my hallucinations to see that a walker was gnawing on my foot. I kicked him off me and wrestled with him. I eventually got a stick and smashed his head into the ground. Then I pulled the arrow out of my abdomen with a cry and hiss of pain and readied my crossbrow. That took some effort. I strung my arrow and let it rip into the other walker's head. I hurried my white ass up the ravine wall. It took a lot of energy. Towards the middle of my climb I had another hallucination. It was of my baby girl.

"Daddy!" I heard her call. I looked up. She was at the top of the ravine in a blue sundress that I had never seen before. She was smiling her thousand watt smile. Her curls were falling around her face from her looking down at me.

"Hey there, baby girl. What are you doin' up there," I asked her.

"Waitin for you, Daddy. What else would I be doin," she asked. She had a mouth like her mother's. She was pretty damn smart for a three year too. I was gripping tightly to one of the ledges or roots in the ravine wall.

"I'm coming, sweetheart," I called up to her. I started to climb again. Seeing my baby girl had given more strength. I eventually got up to the top with great pain and strength. I was just plain tired now. I collapsed on the ground at the top. I felt a poke on my back.

"Daddy?" I looked up to see my daughter's concerned face. I rolled over and held out my arms that invited her to hug me. She smiled and squealed. She jumped into my arms. I hugged her tightly. This was my way of saying my final goodbyes. I never said goodbye to her properly. I could feel the tears to swell in the back of my eyes. I now have an idea on how Rick felt when he found Carl.

"Daddy," she asked, "Why are you hugging me so tightly?" I smiled.

"I never wanna let you go," I answered truthfully.

"Daddy!" She exclaimed my name as if I said something scandalous. I smiled.

"Did you hear what I said to you to you before I let you go?" I asked this in seriousness.

"Yes."

"What did I say?"

"You is kind. You is smart. You is important," she recited slowly. She had the same Jackson drawl as her mother. I smiled. I mouthed the words along with her. I almost let out a sob of joy. I could already feel the tears coming back to me. This would be the first time I cried after her death.

"And don' you ever forget it." I tapped my index finger on her nose and made a BOOP sound. She smiled and giggled. "That's my girl."

"Charlie." That would be Genny. She was standing in front of us. I got up and picked up Charlie in the same motion. It hurt a little but I could deal. Genny wasn't the tallest person. She only came to about my shoulder and her being barefoot at the moment and me being in boots, it made me a lot taller than her.

"Mama," she said excitedly. She was squirming around so I put her on the ground. I was too overcome with joy and completeness after seeing these two. I felt like my family was complete. I hadn't been with the two of them together, in the same place, since the funeral. I hadn't been with them both in an alive-like state since the day of Genny's death. That was before Charlie could talk in full sentences. That wasn't the best place and it was so long ago. I stepped forward and cupped Genny's face in my hands.

"I love you." I said this with as much confidence and sincerity as I could muster. She smiled a sorta sad smile. She knew that she had to go soon. She didn't want to go either.

"I love you too. To the moon and stars," she said. I leaned forward and captured her lips in mine. It was a sweet kiss. There was no tongue or anything like that. We were in front of our daughter. It was the perfect kiss for us, though.

"I'll see you soon probably," I said to Genny in all honesty. I was always so honest with her.

"Hopefully not too soon. People need you here."

She kissed me again and then took Charlie's hand.

"Let's go, Charlie. You'll see Daddy again." Genny looked back at me and waved. I waved back.

"Bye, Daddy." Charlie sounded a little sad.

"Bye, Charlotte. You know that Daddy will always love you. To the moon and the stars." I kissed the top of her head and let her go. I never wanted them to go away but I knew they had to if I was going to find Sophia. Their figures retreated in the background and I just stared at where they just where. I shook my head and wiped a stray tear away.

I realized that my leg hurt like a motherfucker. I'll have to limp all the way back to camp. Fan-fucking-tastic. I grabbed my crossbow and started my long ass trek back to camp. When I eventually got to camp, I was limping really badly. I saw Rick, T-Dog, Glenn, and Shane run towards me. I saw that Shane had his button up open. He really needs to keep that shit closed. I don't want to look at your torso, dude. When they got to me Glenn, being Captain Obvious as always, asked, "Is that Daryl?" Dumbass, China man. Then surprise, surprise, Rick pulled a gun on me.

"That's the third time you've pointed that thing at my head. You gonna pull the trigger or what," I asked angrily. I was still a little emotionally unstable from my hallucinations. Merle really stirred me up but then Charlie and Genny kinda put me in a mood. My lonely walk back had me thinking about my delusional encounters. It's like God is teasing with me. That just ain't fucking fair.

A moment later I heard a gunshot. I wasn't expecting him to actually do it! But I saw that Rick hadn't done anything. It must have been the watch-person which is usually Dale. I felt the bullet graze my head. I fell back and fell into unconsciousness. I would have thought that Dale had better aim.

Sounds great so far. I just added a few commas and a few changes of wording for tense structure. Good job! Write more.

Lol Thanks:) Your demand has been considered and accepted.

When I woke up, I was in Hershel's house and had a splitting headache. It felt ten times worse than a hangover. I went to rub my temples but there was guaze covering stitches there. I hissed in pain when I touched them. I couldn't believe that Dale shot me. I didn't look that much like a walker, did I? I mean I could see somebody thinking that from my limp, but Rick lowered his gun and nobody else was doing anything. Then again, I thought to myself, maybe it wasn't Dale on watch. That would make more sense. Then who? I went over everybody who was given watch duty. Then it popped into my head. Andrea. She was the one wanting a gun and not wanting to do lady-work any more. She must've been the one that shot me. Good thing she wasn't a very good shot. She only grazed me.

How was that? Tell me by reviewing please!