I Choose…

Written by Illuminate the Shadows

Beta'd by Innocent Sinner in Hell

"I've already chosen."

My golden eyes rose to his face on their own accord, betraying me and expressing every emotion within the depths of my soul. Excitement, despair, confusion, and… Love.

"But this woman must also choose me."

But the love that runs deep, the kind that lasts forever... I gazed into his foreign green eyes, trying with all my strength to find that passion within me; to find that voice whispering his name… Yet it spoke another name instead. I do not feel that for him.

Sensing my uncertainty, Jake raised a hand to touch my cheek. My ears twitched as I pulled back to gaze at his hand. He was warm, and comforting… His hand has four fingers. My eyes returned to his. He is different. He is not my destiny.

"Neytiri… I-I'm sorry if I intruded on any…" He looked lost; he struggled to find the words to tell me what I already knew. What I already denied. Touching his arm gently, I gained his attention once again. My voice was low, and I fought to keep the tremors from it.

"Jake… This is not the path Eywa has chosen for us. For me."

The sadness in his eyes was distressing; it was an emotion I could not describe. With a small nod, he took a step back, avoiding my eyes. To leave him alone is the best thing I can do.

The forest greeted me with the hoots and calls of animals, like a symphony of the night. Everything glowed, burning pinks and blues, surrounding my body in luminescence. Enlightened by the freedom and beauty of the world around me, I raced through the jungle. Coming upon a gap between tree branches, I leapt; legs outstretched, and closed my eyes. I was flying.

He was there. He was within me, living in my heart, my soul, my spirit, since before I could remember. I breathed his air, smelt his essence, heard his voice… Even saw him waiting for me in a sort of dream. Though I am awake… No, my eyes did not deceive me. He stood before me now, as I had come upon him in my splendor.

"Oel ngati kameie."

He was the rainwater on the leaves during a summer season. He was the wind in my hair as I soared high on Seze. He was… Home.

"Tsu'tey." My smile finally escaped from my heart and took place on my lips as my eyes lingered on his face. His golden eyes, so soft; they only lost their enmity when he was with me. Reaching forth to touch his skin, I pressed my fingers to his chest. His lids drooped over his eyes at my touch. I could feel his heartbeat against my palm, and ached to feel our hearts beat as one.

"I see you." His eyes regained some intelligence as he gazed at me from only the width of Atokirina'. "I see all that is beautiful when I am with you."

The familiar disdain returned to his eyes. "Jakesully is–"

"Jake is not Na'vi," I murmured, watching my fingers rise and fall with each breath he took.

"He is Omaticaya now."

"He is not who I choose."

Silence immediately followed my unintended words. Fearing the worst, I dared to look up at him and see what emotion lie on his face. I pray in my heart that he… His eyes glittered, and I saw my own reflection in them. … Chooses me as well… Breath escaped my lips as he removed my hand from his chest and placed his own on my cheeks, effectively capturing my face and my attention.

"Who do you choose, Neytiri." His voice was so low that his words did not have a questioning tone to them, but I found it appropriate to answer anyway.

"You."

Not a heartbeat passed before the gap between our lips was closed. The moment his mouth touched mine, I lost all concept of sadness, of jealousy, of wrong or right. It was this warrior; this man, before me, that enveloped my conscious thoughts. His scent was excited, triumphant, and nervous… Do I make him nervous? The realization that overcame me was enticing. He is but a few moons older than me… He does not know these ways either. Clenching his shoulders with trembling hands, I allowed him to pull me to my knees. Eywa guide us…

His arms encircled my body as his lips grazed my neck. My ears flattened against my head as I felt his teeth test my skin. The ultimate check of trust was nothing but uncomfortable for me; I had trusted him since we were very young. Instinct directed my mind, and as if I had known all along, I reached for his queue. He took no notice, distracting me with the smallest of movements. Holding our queues mere centimeters apart, I watched the pink tendrils reach for each other eagerly. Finally, I ended the anticipation and satisfied both them and ourselves.

The feeling was like nothing I had ever experienced. This was no bond like I had felt with palulukan or Seze. The sheer power of the connection ceased any actions between us besides breathing. A gasp fell from my lips and a small sound from his. Blinking rapidly, I tried to focus; tried to return to reality, but my vision became fuzzy.

I saw two large golden eyes above me. I didn't know who they belonged to. A face formed around them, and a smile was on her lips. She emitted comfort, and security. Mother… Suddenly I was at the base of Hometree. I could hear the voice of Ateyo. A hand pointed across the heads of Na'vi, and I looked until my eyes rested on a very young, very familiar face.

"That is Neytiri. One day, you will mate with her."

Shaking myself out of the unfamiliar memories, I returned to the forest. To Tsu'tey. Concentrating on a feeling within me, I felt emotions that were not my own. His eyes were distant as he experienced possibly the same as I just had. I know everything about him… Everything he feels, everything he's seen… I observed him as he slowly arrived back in reality as well. I felt his heart beating with mine; a slow, harmonic sound. Drawing in a breath, I stroked his jaw. The feeling was mutual; the connection between us allowed me to feel my own touch. Unknowingly, my mind began to wonder what would happen if we continued our mating ritual, and without warning, a powerful wave of lust washed over my body, leaving me shaken and nearly panting.

The feeling was obviously reciprocated; Tsu'tey's eyes were apologetic as he gazed at me fiercely.

"Neytiri, this is not going to last long."

Somehow understanding him without knowing was 'it' was, I nodded. A new flame was ignited within me as he lifted my loincloth, instinct ruling his actions as well. When he entered me, the feeling that erupted within my body left my head spinning, and I felt as if I had just fallen from the top of Hometree and landed here, with him. I felt the pleasure from my own body, as well as his pleasure from being inside me. His eyes were fully dilated; the golden irises barely visible around the large black pupils. Gripping his shoulders, I slid myself along his length, shuddering and whimpering at the delight that was driving both him and me insane. The possessive fierceness of Tsu'tey's personality was new to me. But I felt it too, and understood it; I was his and no one else's. I heard his thoughts clearly: I would fight to the death for her.

The intensity of our pleasure was too much for our inexperienced bodies, and we soon finished together. As I reached my peak, I buried my face in his shoulder to muffle my cries. My body constricting around him as well as my pleasure pushed him over the edge, and he groaned, nails digging into my hips. It was over.

But no. It had just begun.

Twilight was starting to shine on the horizon as the night came to an end. Still in his arms and still bonded to him by Tsahaylu, I raised my head. He had been stroking the wounds he'd created on my skin, but his movements ceased as I stirred. The animals were silent now.

"Neytiri, you know I will fight for you. For our people as well, but especially for you. I am forever to stand by your side."

"And I by yours," I murmured. He looked slightly anxious, and I recognized why. I hadn't recited the exact words we'd been taught as young children. With a soft sigh, I touched the place on his ear where his ikran had ripped it. "I will forever stand by yours as well. We are mated for life…"

As I gazed into his eyes, my tail curled around my body to encircle his leg. His smile was endearing. This creature is mine… Forever. A soft kiss was left on my temple as he helped me to my feet. How could I have thought to be in love with Jake? Tsu'tey is…

"Come. We will sleep in Hometree, and have our dreams there."

Tsu'tey is who I choose.