Freefall
I have oft been asked what the freefall feels like. I know better than anyone its effects and yet I have always been somewhat wary to address it wholly. I've spent my life running away, looking for answers somewhere in the ether; somewhere beyond my mind's eye. I suppose anywhere was better than there; away from the politics, the prejudices and the bitter sting of rejection. I always knew I was different from the others. It is difficult for the untrained eye to pick out the disparities but to them? Oh, to them I am veritable insult to their good family name. The idea that the blood was tainted, impure was unthinkable. Improbable even! And by a human nonetheless. It is a wonder my life was not taken from me upon my birth. Were it not for my uncle's kindness, I am most certain that it would have been. Even as a boy I felt their hatred, burning just behind the eyes like a searing pain as if they were almost willing me to disappear. Eventually I suppose, I did. Took the Old Girl, and ran away to the stars, never once looking back or regretting; one headlong flight into the unknown. And oh it was wonderful! I suppose that is how one might describe a freefall, just leaping forth unabated into the welcoming arms of the universe, becoming one with constellations and stars and the endless void. Sometimes it becomes hard to separate yourself from it. One never tires of the rush, you see.
The first leap is always the most harrowing. Your head reels as the adrenaline takes over, as the mind relinquishes itself to fear and everything seems to lurch forward in slow motion; that endless drag towards the fall. You find yourself divided between the fear and the curiosity. Part of you wants to throw itself nose first into the fray, the other urges you to turn back, to give in, and to conform. For me, the choice was inevitable. I never was very good at taking orders, not even as a child. I remember staring into the heart of the Untempered Schism, being drawn in by its absolute magnitude; its impossibility – a yawning hole in reality that exposed the sheer awesomeness of the Time Vortex itself. I remember feeling its power, its desire to drag me into its unforgiving jaws and devour me whole and I defied it. I ran. I turned on my infantile heels and ran. I suppose I never did stop running.
The freefall you see then was quite simple for me. I had no inhibitions or fear. I certainly didn't shy away from the hope it instilled in me; the hope of a new and better existence. Sometimes, it is necessary to just give into the fall and embrace all the repercussions that come with it wholeheartedly. For me, it was perhaps the greatest personal choice I ever made. I have seen such wonders, such terrible and beautiful wonders; some that I have made me recoil in horror, others which have filled my hearts with such indescribable joy and yet not once do I regret my life choice. I am a Wayfarer, born to traverse Time for the rest of my existence, forever falling. In the end I should think that I should like to wholly become one with it, to throw open the doors of my faithful ship and subject myself to the time winds; to finally take that fatal plunge into the void. Until then I shall continue to freefall, arms outstretched forever welcoming the universe and all its adversities.