chapter 1

As Clarke pulled the lever, she knew that she hadn't saved the world. She had condemned what was left of humanity on earth to a lifetime of pain and suffering, but her thoughts were on Bellamy and what would happen to him if she didn't because if she didn't, he would surely be killed by Alie's army who by now would be close and just the thought of Bellamy not being there to comfort her and tell her it's okay made her question everything she knew .

Within a minute Clarke was awake from what had seemed to be a distant dream that included Alie and the city of light and Lexa coming to save her. She awoke to find everyone huddled in a circle in the middle of the room. Quickly taking the iv out Clarke tried to move her whole body forward to figure out what was going on but collapsed half way only to be caught by Bellamy. The familiar reassuring sound of his voice in her ear as she slipped into a deep slumber fuelled by her lack of sleep and the pain, she was enduring.

The next thing she knew she was lying in a cot in the medical tent back at arcadia. Bellamy who was asleep on a chair barely half a metre from Clarke woke up just as Clarke was trying to work out what had happened.

"How long have I been out? What happened? "Clarke said looking very disorientated half expecting one of Bellamy's smirks to calm her down.

"Three days" Bellamy said without his trade mark smirk Clarke was so use to

Instantly Clarke knew something was up, but she never would have guessed what Bellamy would say next.

"Clarke"

"Yes Bellamy, what is it "said Clarke panicking already

"It's your mother"

"what about her? where is she? "Clarke said as she pulled herself up as to search around the room for her, but she wasn't there.

"In the tower in Polis when you were fighting Alie someone got through the barrier and aimed a gun at you, he fired before we could take him down. Clarke your mom jumped in front of you " it was at this point Bellamy's voice couldn't take it anymore and just cracked

"Your mum died, I'm so sorry if only I had been guarding your mum instead of reloading my gun it's my fault"

Clarke was silent. she got up and walked out of the tent, through the compound and out the gate leaving behind a calling Bellamy. Before she knew it, she was running to get away from all of this. She knew that she had no intention of coming back after all the pain she had endured leaving was the best thing to do even if it meant leaving Bellamy again

Chapter 2

Clarke had been walking for what seemed to have been an eternity and too scared to stop, scared that she would feel guilty for leaving and go back but that wasn't an option she wanted to do.

Then all of sudden she heard the sweet familiar sound of Bellamy's voice calling her

"Clarke "Bellamy yelled "Clarke, where are you"

Clarke broke into a sprint; she didn't want to face him right now because she knew how selfish she was being right now and how Bellamy would react.

"Clarke, please come back with us" he pleaded

She kept running until. Crash. She collided with a person. Miller

"Bellamy I've got her "Miller yelled while pinning Clarke to the ground as she struggled.

"What the hell Miller. Get off her "Bellamy barked at Miller

Instantly Miller knew he had messed up and he got up dusted himself of and stuck his hand out to Clarke as to other help of. She swatted his hand away and slowly got up.

"Go tell the others to head back" Bellamy order miller who instantly complied

As soon as miller was out of ear shot Bellamy turned to Clarke

"what the hell Clarke you were just going to leave. I understand your in pain, but we all are. You can't just leave whenever things get tough. I won't let you"

"Bellamy you don't understand I'm doing this for your own good" Clarke says trying to hold back from crying

"How do I not understand" Bellamy said trying not sound angry

"my parents, wells, Finn, Lexa they all have two things in common one I loved them and there died because of me and I-I don't want that to happen to you "

"it won't I promise I'm not going anywhere, I wouldn't leave you because" Bellamy paused he had dreamed about this moment for so long "I love you Clarke, I've known for a while but" Bellamy wasn't finished but Clarke didn't care she had waited so long to hear those four words from Bellamy. Within a second her lips were on his

His arms were around her pulling her tighter. Clarke felt like she was melting in his arms, losing herself in the kiss. Clarke pulled away and whispered

"I love you to "

"come back to camp with me please" Bellamy said with a wide smile on his face

"Yes I will" Clarke said

She knew it wouldn't be easy but with Bellamy she would get through it. Plus, everyone would need her now she was the closest to a doctor they had. She just had to remember she wasn't the only person who had lost people and she wouldn't be the last