Disclaimer Law and Order does not belong to me. I just wanted to write a fix it for the last episode of the previous series and the first episode of this new series. So spoilers for that. Kudos and ITV1 own all. Let me know what you think.
Surviving.
Ronnie sat on the cold plastic chair, half of him unable to believe he was back there. He had stopped going to his AA meeting s years ago. He hadn't needed them. Not since him and Matt had been teamed together. Nt since he had been given another, a final chance by DI Natalie Chandler. SIghing heavily he began to talk.
"It happened right in front of me. My mate. I should have stopped it. But I was too slow." He shook his head. "I always knew he would be there for me. We're mates, yeah? But when it came down to it. When it really mattered where was I? And I will never forgive myself. Not until the day I die. My boss, she's as good as gold. So are the rest of the team but I let him down and I see it on their faces every day."
"Ronnie." The counsellor leant forwards in her seat. "Are you drinking again?"
"No." Ronnie sighed heavily. "I wish I was. Then at least this wouldn't hurt so damn much."
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Alesha stared at the paperwork in front of her. She knew she was barely taking in the information in front of her but Jake would be on her case if she didn't at least try to work. All she wanted to do was grab her coat and leave. Since James and George had left she had grown increasingly alienated from her colleagues. James was her best friend and it killed her that he hadn't been around when Matt had been attacked.
"Alesha? The file on the Robert's case?"
"Is on your desk." She snapped. "If you would care to look." She grabbed her jacket as she switched off her computer.
"Where are you going?"
"Home." She sighed as she thought of what waited for her there. "Where I am needed."
Jake shook his head angrily but he knew there was no way she was going to stay until the end of the working day. He also knew there was no point going to Henry. The older man always seemed to side with the younger woman, even more so these days. He turned and stormed into what would always be James' office to her and slammed the door.
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Ronnie ran a hand over his eyes as he adjusted to the late afternoon sunshine hit his face. The last thing he expected to see was Natalie Chandler waiting for him. He smiled slightly as he watched his senior officer watch him walk towards her.
"You ok?"
"Me?" Natalie asked as he reached her. "Yeah. You?"
"Not really." He stared at the floor.
"Right." She folded her arms across her thin frame as she met his gaze. Ronnie and Matt were her friends as well as her junior officers. There was no way she was going to let Ronnie continue with the self pitying he seemed to be indulging in since the shooting. The team had all felt the repurcussions of what had happened but she couldn't let them go on suffering. It was the last thing they needed and the last thing Matt would want.
"Ronnie."
"Yes Guv?"
"Can you do something for me? Can you stop all this bull? Matt was shot. We were all there but it was not your fault. It was the fault of the boy carrying the gun. You can't keep doing this."
"What? What am I doing exactly? It should have been me laying on that pavement. Not him. He's just a kid."
"No." Natalie held his arm. "He was not just a kid. Matt Devlin has never been just a kid. You know that. Bloody good lad, great copper but never just a kid. It was six months ago."
"I know how long ago it was. Feels like yesterday."
"Well then. How do you think young Alesha feels? Come on. Get in the car. We're going round there."
"What about work?" Ronnie walked to the passenger seat. He knew better than to argue with his boss. Natalie could be pretty formidable when she wanted to be.
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Alesha sighed heavily as she turned the key in the lock. Jake had really got on her nerves. Not for the first time she wondered whether James had the right idea.
"Lesh?"
"Yeah." She shrugged off her coat and hung it over the bannister as she heard her name called.
"You're early." She nodded as she looked down to see Matt coming towards her in his wheelchair. "Jake wind you up again?"
"Not really." She leant down to kiss him as he raised a hand to tug her towards him. She smiled into the kiss as he pulled her onto his lap.
"Natalie called. She's bringing Ronnie around in a bit. He's been more affected by me being in this thing than I am. Said she was going to get a pizza on the way."
"Just not pepperoni." Alesha rested a hand on her stomach as the thought of pepperoni threatened to bring on her morning sickness. He smiled slightly before kissing her cheek.
"No, I told her you were allergic to sea food." He watched as her eyes lit up.
"I'm not but thanks. Matt?"
"Yeah." He slipped one hand under her blouse, carressing the minute baby bump. She was only eight weeks along, another miracle to add to the fact Matt had survived what should have been a fatal gunshot wound.
"I love you."
"Yeah?" He kissed her again. "You mean that?" Suddenly his eyes betrayed how insecure he was. The shooting had severed his spinal cord fairly low down which had left him paralysed from the lower back down. His legs didn't work anymore and never would again but it seemed everything else did.
"Of course I mean it. You don't just say that if you don't"
"Good. Because I love you too." He smiled as he kissed her neck. Alesha sighed heavily as the doorbell rang. They both knew who the visitors were on the other side of the door.
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"You sure about this?" Ronnie turned to Natalie as she pressed her finger to the doorbell.
"Oh will you stop being such a woman!" She snapped as he raised his eyebrows.
"Well, pardon me for feeling guilty that my best friend was in a coma for a week and woke up without the use of his legs. Especially when it should 'av been me."
"Oh shut up." Natalie huffed as the door opened.
"Hiya." Alesha smiled as she ushered her friends into the hallway. Matt pushed his chair out of the kitchen as Natalie smiled.
"You alright Luv?" She asked as he took the pizza box.
"Yeah. I'm fine. Tyres stick a bit but you can't have everything. Ron?"
"Yeah?" Ronnie took his coat off as Matt spoke to him.
"You ok?"
"Yeah." Ronnie smiled as he realised his friend was just the same as ever. "Yeah, I think we'll survive."
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A/N Please review. Even if you hate it. Back to my own little L&O UK Universe soon.