It's 3 in the morning and Kendall's beyond pissed, because he can hear Carlos snoring from across the room and all he wants to do is sleep. Is that really to much to fucking ask for at 3 in the morning.
Kendall reaches for his Ipod, because music would be the perfect thing to drown out Carlos' obnoxious snoring, but realizes it's not on the dresser, where it's suppose to be. Then he remembers that he left it the car. After having an argument with Logan, he had wanted to get out of the car and put as much distance between them as possible, which left no time for thinking to get his Ipod, or even his phone, which he realizes is missing to.
If he was pissed before, then he's livid right now, because he feels he shouldn't have to go through all this just to get sleep at 3:21 in the damned morning. He throws on the closest pair or jeans and a dirty long sleeved shirt that he's for sure isn't his, because it feels big. He walks out the door with a scowl on his face and thinking of all the ways he can get Logan and Carlos back, because this is all their fault.
Walking back to his apartment he expects to be in bed and on his way to dreamland in 10 minutes tops, with his music drowning out the ungodly sounds Carlos chooses to make when he sleeps. He expects to have a peaceful couple hours of sleep before he has to go to school and hear Gustavo yell at him and the 'dogs' for 5 hours. What he doesn't expect is to hear crying coming from across the hall and seeing a girl laying on the floor.
"Camille?" Kendall questions, because he's sure that he could just be seeing things from the lack of sleep. He's so tired that he wouldn't be surprised is he saw unicorns pissing out rainbows.
She looks up and he gets a closer look and wishes that he hadn't. The dark haired girl looks like, the only way he can describe it, crap. She has bags under her eyes, her hairs everywhere, he wonders if she stuck her head out of a car window, her black eye make-up is everywhere, her clothes are rumpled, and she just looks tired.
That makes two of us
"Yeah." her voice is horse, whether from crying or something else. Kendall notices the slight slur in her voice and how her eyes are a little dilated, and now knows that she just got home from a party. From the looks of it, a very wild party.
"Are you okay?" he asks, steeping closer.
"No, I'm not okay and I feel like I never will be." She answers, with tear running down her face and her voice raising a few octaves with every word.
Kendall's doesn't have to ask her why she's upset, because he already knows. Camille and Logan broke up and it's painfully obvious that she isn't taking it very well. He can relate, since he just lost the girl he loved to another country, halfway across the world.
He extends his hand, which she takes, and heaves her up, but when standing she sways. He knows that it's not from a blood rush to her head, but from the alcohol and drugs, you don't get dilated eyes from just drinking, that he knows she took at whatever wild party she was at. He briefly wonders if something bad happened to her at the party, because this is Hollywood and bad things happen here at parties more than Kendall would like to acknowledge.
He pulls her into a hug, her face buried deep into his chest. Then she really starts to cry. Sobs that shake her would body and make it hard to breathe. She needs this. She needs someone to hold her close and give her the comfort that she's been seeking by stay in her room and at parties. It's the comfort that she so desperately needs, so he hugs him closer, even though it makes her nose hurt and harder to breathe.
Kendall hears a muffled scream and briefly wonders where it came from, but discovers it's coming from Camille. The screams followed by another and another and them more. He holds her impossibly closer and buries his face in her hair, because it's smells nice, it's calming, and he seriously feels like he's about to cry too, because he knows exactly how she feels. His shirt is soaking wet in the spot that her face occupies from the massive amount of tears the she sheds and her spit, because she has a piece of his shirt in her mouth and she's biting it, trying to calm down.
Then she lets out this desperate sound, somewhere between a weak scream and a body shaking sob. For some reason all the memories of the past 3 weeks hit him like a truck and he starts to sob to, but not as hard as Camille, because he has to at least be somewhat strong for her, but his body still shakes from the sobs. He wants so badly to take her pain away, his too, and make everything okay again, just like it was a few months ago.
He misses summer, when everything was okay. When him and Jo were together and Camille was with Logan. He misses being at the beach, spending off days just being teenagers and having fun. He misses being able to look at James without feel an ache in his chest. He misses days spent between sun and sand. He misses those times so much that it hurts. He mostly misses being alright.
After he calms down, which takes longer than he would like to admit, and Camille's muffled screams stop, he pulls her to the door of 2J and goes inside. It's dark and he can't really see, but it's better than being in the hallways, where someone can walk by and see them falling apart.
He sits on the couch and brings her down with him, holding her close. Kendall wants to think that he's holding her so close, because she needs someone to be there for her, but he knows that he needs someone there for him and that it's going to be Camille. They both just lie there, holding each other, and breathing in the comfort that the other's presence brings. They both have silent tears running down their faces and Kendall's glad that it's dark, because hates having people see him cry.
"I told James that I liked him." Kendall whispers, but he said it so quietly that he's not sure she even heard him.
"I know, he told me right after it happened. I'm sorry that he doesn't feel the same way." She says, wiping his tears. She knows how he feels.
He doesn't like thinking about what happened between him and James. The kiss happened when Kendall was in bed mopping over the fact that Jo had left and he was all alone.
"Kendall, you need to get out of bed, you've been like this for 10 10days" James says to the human shaped lump under Kendall's plaid comforter.
"I don't want to. The girl I loved moved across the world and I'm all alone." His voice sounds so pitiful that it makes James' breathing stop for a moment. He hates seeing his best friend this way.
"Kendall." He says, climbing under the covers and wrapping his arms around Kendall. "You're not alone. You have Logan, Carlos, Katie, and me. I love you Kendall and I hate seeing you this way." He rubs slow circles into Kendall abdomen, something Kendall wishes he would stop, because it's turning him on, but keep doing.
Kendall turns towards James and moves his face closer to his. Maybe it's because James just said he loves him, or because he's lonely, or that he's been secretly crushing on James for a long time, but before he knows it he's kissing James, who isn't kissing back and has gone rigid.
"I'm sorry Kendall, but I don't feel the same way." James says softly after pushing Kendall's face away. "I love you, just no-" he doesn't get to finish because Kendall jumps out of bed, with pressure building behind his eyes, and strides out the room as fast as he can, his long legs carrying him away.
He hasn't talked to James since and he's been avoiding him.
"Love sucks." He mumbles with a sniffle. He hates being this weak.
"Did you love Jo?" Camille asks.
"Yeah I loved her, but I loved James too. I wanted them both, but she left and James doesn't want me and like-" Kendall doesn't finish, because he doesn't even know what to say or how to explain that he loved 2 people at the same time. He lets out a frustrated noise, because thinking about everything is making his head hurt.
"Yeah." She says, not knowing how to respond to what he just said. "When Logan left I begged him not to leave, I even cried, but he still left. He just left me and didn't even look back." The words are said with new tears building up in her eyes.
Kendall has a feeling that Logan didn't leave because he didn't love her, but because he did love her. Logan has more abandonment and self-esteem issues than he lets on. He has a feeling that Logan left before she could leave him.
There's nothing else that they can think to say, so they just lay there in each others arm, drinking in the comfort.
The next morning Kendall's awakened by a bright light. He feels something warm and heavy on his chest, he keeps his eyes closed and he briefly hopes that it's James. He opens them and sees long wavy hair and is hit with a short painful wave of sadness.
He looks up, seeing 5 faces staring back at him. 4 look confused but 1 looks angry, Logan. Logan quickly turns away and strides out the room. Kendall wonders, still disorientated, what's causing a scean, before realizing that he and Camille are still wrapped in each others arms, on the couch, where everyone can see.
When Camille leaves, no one talks about what happened, but the unspoken questions hang in the air with a cloud of awkward silence. The questions are never asked.
Camille and Kendall get closer and closer over the next few weeks, bonding over the misery and sadness that they both feel, like a second heartbeat.
2 weeks after the 'couch incident', as Carlos called it when they both talked about it late one night, Camille and Kendall both feel unwanted and not needed. Logan's with the pretty new girl, something that isn't good for Camille's already minuscule self-esteem, James is up to his womanizing ways, and Jo has been ''spotted with her dreamy co-star'', which Kendall had to find out from the Pop Tiger magazine that James claims he isn't obsessed with.
They end up sleeping together, late at night while everyone is out of 2J
Camille's on top, bouncing up and down. Kendall's on bottom breathing heavy, because even though he's heartbroken, this feels sooooo good.
"Ngh, fuck! Oh God. Fuuuck" Kendall moans with his eyes squeezed shut and he knows that he's not going to last much longer.
Camille swivels her hips in a rough jerking motion and Kendall completely loses it. A string of curses leave his mouth as a cums, hard, inside of her. They stay put for a while, trying to catch their breath.
It's been over a minute and she still hasn't gotten off of him, even though he's already gotten off, so he looks up and sees tears shining in her eyes and she looking off into space. He knows that this wasn't about pleasure for her, but about being wanted, even if it was just for sex.
"Please, get off." Because Kendall's getting hard again and they don't have that long until someone comes home
Before she can get off the bed room door opens and Carlos steps in with a surprised look on his face, which quickly turns to pity, because of how broken Camille looks and how under the lust he can see clouds of sadness in golden green. Carlos quietly shuts the door, because the sadness in the room is suffocating him, slowly sucking oxygen from his body.
That night, after everyone's asleep, Kendall sneaks out. He spends the night by the pool, with Camille. Just them and the moon.