Bleach Christmas 2
Ah, another year, another christmas story. I hope you enjoy this little present and I'll try and get this one finished by Christmas this time. This story contains frequent coarse language and suggestive themes. BUt if you've read my first Christmas story you know what to expect. If not, prepare yourself.
It was winter and the snow coated the treetops and clogged chimneys all over town. Children skipped along the frost, covered paths while singing public domain songs that all had tie-ins with a mysterious fat bloke who only comes once a year. (Poor bastard, I think doctors can cure that...Right, where were we?)
Anyway, all around town decorations were being strung up as if it were some kind of holiday. Plastic pine trees were erected in shopping malls and there were more flashing lights than Vegas when the sun goes down.
It was...Christmas.
Everyone was celebrating in their own special ways, but within one small home things would be far from different...
"Ichigo! Haven't you heard? It's Christmas!" Rukia was bouncing up and down like a toddler about to sit on Santa's lap. She was wearing a bright red Santa outfit. She was holding another one and was shoving in Ichigo's face.
Ichigo pushed her aside and sighed. "What are you doing?"
"It's Christmas." She said as if it explained everything.
"You already said that. I asked why you were trying to make me eat that silly costume!"
"It's a Santa suit." Rukia stated simply, once again assuming it was answer enough to his questions.
"I can see that. Why do you have a second one?"
"It's for you." Rukia smiled. "Everyone has to wear one on Christmas."
"Huh? No you don't! We didn't wear them last Christmas." Ichigo snapped.
"Last...Christmas?" The words seemed foreign as Rukia said them slowly. "There never was a last Christmas. Stop being silly Ichigo."
"What do you mean? Don't tell me you repressed the memory or something?" Rukia stared blankly at him. He groaned and started to recap last year's events. "You were upset because Byakuya never said merry Christmas so I threw a big party and had him say it to you. How can you not remember? I bought you a bunny!"
Rukia tilted her head to one side like a confused pup. "Was this a dream?"
"No it wasn't a dream- Actually...Was it? No. It was real!" Rukia giggled innocently at his indecision. Ichigo felt a vein pop up on his forehead "What is so funny?"
"You're acting so silly. Now hurry up and put on the Santa suit."
"You don't have to wear a Santa suit on Christmas!" Ichigo roared.
"But everyone's wearing one." Rukia murmured, glancing down at the floor.
"No they aren't. You've just been tricked! Come on, I'll show you."
"What...The...Hell?" Ichigo stood in the middle of a shopping plaza, surrounded by hundreds of people, every single one of them adorning a Santa suit. They were like an army of jolly citizens, all marching through the snow, their hats swaying in the light breeze.
Ichigo backed away from the plaza and ran into something huge. It felt like a wall but walls don't apologise. This was a person. Ichigo spun on his heels to face Chad. Even he was wearing a bright red suit.
"Chad? You too?"
Chad waved and smiled. "Hi. Where's your Santa suit?"
Ichigo's eyes widened and he ran away, screaming out something trapped halfway between hysterical crying and a pitiful excuse that made no sense.
Chad shrugged and went inside a pet shop to see the birds.
Meanwhile, Ichigo bolted around a corner and onto the main street. He dashed across the road and passed the bridge. As he ran along the riverbank he passed Orihime who stepped out in front of him and stopped him in his tracks.
"Hey Ichigo! Merry Christmas!"
"Hi Orihime." Ichigo muttered, his voice drained of holiday cheer.
"Boy, you don't sound very happy? Is it because you don't have a Santa suit?" That word made a vein pop up on his forehead. Ichigo felt his face grow warm as his cheeks went red.
"No! I don't care about the damn costumes! Anyway, I'm not the only one not wearing one!"
"Yes you are." A voice came from over his shoulder.
Ichigo looked over to Tatsuki who was wearing an identical red skirt and top with white fur trims. Ichigo squealed and ran off, his heart pounding in his chest for a reason he could not understand. He made his way to a quiet alley where he leaned heavily against the wall, panting.
"Why? Why is everyone wearing those things? And why the hell am I feeling embarrassed? Something is very wrong here!" He looked around nervously and bowed his head in shame. "Should I wear one?"
Footsteps came from behind and Ichigo about faced with lightning speed to face Ishida, whose usual Quincy outfit was now dyed red and had white fur around the edges. He strolled casually up to Ichigo and adjusted his glasses.
"Don't you have a Santa suit Kurosaki?" Ishida's voice sounded strangely menacing. "You really are hopeless. I might make one for you." Ichigo oddly enough felt a sense of relief but that was soon shattered when Ishida added, "If you get on your knees and beg."
Ichigo bunched a fist and scowled. "Get out of here!" Ishida vanished without a trace leaving Ichigo to contemplate his situation...
The next day Ichigo stepped out the door in a Santa suit of his very own, reluctantly wearing one created by Uryu, which had a green cross on the back, as was customary with Quincy attire. He ran down to the plaza and spread his arms wide, singing Christmas carols while showing off his new suit.
Everyone around him wore casual clothes. They stared and pointed and laughed...And laughed...And laughed...And-
"AAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!" Ichigo jumped out of bed and fell face first to the floor. He dragged himself off the floor as fast as possible and wiped the sweat from his brow. "Oh...It was just a dream...Seriously, I don't know what's scarier; Being an outcast or taking Uryu's advice?" He shuddered and walked over to the calendar on his wall.
'December' was printed in large red letter at the top and a picture of the captain commander of Soul Society dressed as jolly old Father Christmas was beneath it. The picture was rather funny, but it wasn't worth the ridiculous price. Ichigo only bought the Soul Society calendar because Rukia wouldn't leave him alone. She was going through a girl scouts phase in January and it resulted in him buying all manner of stupid products.
LAST JANUARY
Ichigo heard a knock on the door and ran downstairs. He opened the door and found Rukia on the doorstep holding a large cardboard box.
"Rukia?"
"Hello, I'm from the Shinigami Women's Association Retail Marketing Service or S.W.A.R.M.S. Would you like to buy some of our fantastic products?"
Ichigo frowned. "What have you got?"
Rukia flashed him a beaming smile and started digging through the box until she found a small catalogue. She handed it to him and then stepped back and waited.
Ichigo flicked through it for a minute and then put it away. "No thank you."
Rukia made a face as if she had just been shot. "What? But we need money to buy new uniforms!"
"Well get the shinigami to buy your crap. Besides I don't have any money, I blew it all on your Christmas party."
The corners of her eyes suddenly glistened as tears formed. Ichigo cursed under his breath and took out his wallet. "Fine! Fine! I'll buy some of your items, just don't cry!"
Rukia clapped and hopped up and down while Ichigo looked through the catalogue again.
"What's the cheapest thing you've got?" Ichigo asked.
Rukia waved a hand at a stack of papers inside the box. "Our Soul Society calendars are half price at the moment." She pulled one out and displayed it like a model from an old advertisement. "Celebrate each month with one of your favourite captains."
Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, skip the sales pitch just give me the damn thing!"
TWO DAYS LATER
"Hello sir, I'm from the Public Institution of Shinigami Saleswomen or P.I.S.S. Would you like to buy some of our products?"
Ichigo glared at her. "No. I bought your stupid calendar the other day, that's enough."
"But we need to raise money for our soccer team!" Rukia urged him. "Won't you please buy some of our home-made cookies?"
Ichigo frowned. "You have a soccer team?"
Rukia shook her head. "No, but we want one!"
Ichigo cursed and took out his wallet again.
ANOTHER TWO DAYS LATER
Rukia waited on the doorstep, this time in a blue and white striped shirt, a beret and a fake moustache. "Bonjour. I am from the French Union of Cheap, King-Endorsed Retail or F.U.C.K.E.R for short. Would you like some delicious pastries?"
Ichigo stared at her. "That doesn't make any sense."
"Yes it does." Rukia replied in a forced French accent. "Now how about a croissant?"
YET ANOTHER TWO DAYS LATER
Ichigo wrenched the door open and cursed. "What do you want now?"
Rukia backed away and made a hurt face. "Such rudeness. Anyway, I am from Civil United National Trades or-"
Ichigo slammed the door in her face.
OKAY, NOW BACK TO PRESENT DAY
The memories brought an angry mood with it and Ichigo cursed under his breath, careful not to wake his family who were still sleeping. He glanced back at the calendar. There were only a few days left to Christmas.
Last year it was a complete nightmare. Rukia went through a severely depressed period and Ichigo had gone to Hell and back to make her smile, but it cost more than money to do it. He took some beatings, was wrongly accused of indecent assault and suffered the worse luck in his entire life.
This year hopefully, would be different...
The cupboard door began to creak as it was pushed along on its old, rusted hinges. The horrible grating noise sounded like a cat being run over and Ichigo couldn't help but grit his teeth and scrunch up his face as the awful sound stretched on.
Rukia crawled out in school uniform and checked her watch. "Hmm, we're going to be early for once."
Ichigo nodded. "I know, I'm a little creeped out as well."
Rukia cocked her head, incidentally allowing her to see the calendar. Her eyes lit up at the realisation of the holidays being so close. "It's nearly Christmas! Yay!"
Her high spirits brought a smile to his face. This was the Rukia he had grown to love. When she wasn't extorting money from him, or depressed, or angry. When she was happy. Her smile was as beautiful as the cloudless blue sky and the flicker of excitement in her eyes reminded him of the sparkling surface of a lake in summer. It made him feel all warm inside.
"Someone's excited."
Rukia nodded hyperactively. "Of course I am! Christmas is the best time of the year!"
Maybe...Just maybe, we can have a normal Christmas this year?
Ichigo looked around anxiously. "So...No depression this time?"
Rukia smiled at him. "Honestly, I got it all out of my system last year. And I have you to thank for it" She leapt out of her cupboard and hugged him. The momentum made them both fall to the floor but only Ichigo took the brunt of it, slamming his head on the floor so hard that the 'thud' actually echoed.
Rukia sat up and placed her hands over her mouth. "Oh no! Ichigo are you alright?"
"ARGH FUCK! What the hell is wrong with you?" Ichigo roared as loudly as he could.
The pounding stampede of footsteps in the hallway brought him back to his senses and he began to panic. "Shit! Get out of here! Quickly!"
Rukia hesitated. "But I-"
"There's no time!" Ichigo pushed her out the window and ignored her screams as she plummeted down two storeys to the ground. He then spun around in time to see his family surge in through the door, into his bedroom.
"Are you alright Ichi?"
"What happened?"
"Who were you talking to?"
Ichigo slapped himself in the forehead and snarled softly under his breath. "Never mind. It's nothing. I've got to go now! Bye!" He charged through them and leapt down the stairs five at a time, only to trip on the last few and face plant into the floor. He crawled on his hands and knees to the front door and then used the doorframe as a leaning post while he scrambled back to his feet.
He rushed around to the side of the house where his bedroom window was located. He found a crater in the snow from where Rukia fell, but she was not there...
"Hmm, maybe she went off to school already? Oh well, I'll catch up to her." Ichigo jogged off to school, taking little notice of it, totally oblivious to the fact that that morning was the start of another traumatic Christmas...