AN- I do not own Harry Potter. This story contains references and depictions of sexual violence and sexual abuse.
Harriet Potter sat on the couch with Sirius, her head in his lap, staring at the fireplace, which crackled satisfyingly across from them. Her godfather was stroking her soft red hair serenely, lost in thought. Remus was in the kitchen making dinner, and Daddy was upstairs sleeping. It was Harri's first evening home with her family again after the dramatic finale of the Triwizard Tournament. There had not yet been a minute to pass in which Harri didn't close her eyes to the sight of Cedric Diggory's lifeless expression, Voldemort's high-pitched cackle, or Pettigrew's severed arm.
When she had arrived back at the entrance to the maze, clinging to Cedric's body, sobbing, Dumbledore had been the first to approach her, but he was followed closely by Sirius who had not allowed her a moment alone since the tournament's unfortunate conclusion. Daddy had wanted to come, but he had been unwell that day, so Remus had stayed behind to watch him. It had been better off that way. Her dad would have only made the situation more difficult to control had he been there.
James Potter had survived the attack on Godric's Hollow that had taken her mother's life, but he had not walked away unaffected. Voldemort had hit him with a potent, modified confundus charm of his own creation, which to this day, no healer had been able to completely bring him back from.
When Harri was little, her dad's illness was not quite as disruptive to her life. For the most part, he took care of her. He knew who she was. Sirius and Remus had lived together, apart from them, and would come around several times a week to check in, but things were normal.
Daddy would sometimes get lost in the house or try to fight off invisible enemies. Sometimes he would call out for her mother, or for Harriet, when no danger was present. Harriet had been used to taking care of him, she loved him dearly and he had been lucid more often when she was little.
Now, unfortunately, due to Harri's uncanny resemblance to Lily as she had aged, he was very rarely lucid in her presence. James was often able to discuss matters regarding Harri with Sirius or Remus, but as soon as she was present, he referred to her as Lily.
This behavior had begun around Harriet's eleventh birthday. When she turned the same age that her mother had been when her parents had met. Sirius had insisted that they move into the house when Harri began at Hogwarts and could no longer be home to care for James.
It was hard for her to blame her father for his faulty cognition. After all, she had inherited long red hair, green eyes, and just about every other feature from Lily Potter. When Daddy had been healthier, when Harri was younger, Sirius used to joke that James might not really be her father, because she had received no traits from him whatsoever. Now, Sirius and Remus dedicated their lives to her care, as well as James'.
Harri cast a glance into the kitchen at Remus, who was frying up some kippers for supper. The werewolf was looking rough, his hands shaky as he prepared the food. Sirius looked up as well and spoke softly,
"Prongslet, will you be ok tomorrow night if we leave you alone with your dad?" He asked.
Harriet sat up. Tomorrow was the full moon.
"Of course, Siri." She smiled, but the smile did not reach her eyes. None of her smiles really had since the graveyard.
"I can stay, if you want honey, all you have to do is ask." Her godfather ruffled her hair.
"No seriously, you go with Remus, he wants you there. I'll be fine." Harriet shot back, fixing her hair.
He pressed a small kiss to her forehead and stood up moving into the kitchen to talk to Remus. Harriet could spend one evening alone with her dad, things weren't that bad she reasoned. He was usually asleep by six or seven.
The next evening, Harri changed into her pajamas, summer ones, which were pale blue. The shorts were soft, and she shivered as the very first sign of the full moon rose from the skyline. Remus hated Sirius to be there during the transformation, so her godfather hung back until the moon had risen.
Descending the stairs, she paused at the entrance to the sitting room listening. Daddy was laughing, which was a rare treat.
"Padfoot, you're mental." He chuckled. "Harri's just a baby, she doesn't play quidditch."
Sirius responded lightly, "I'm sorry mate. I meant she will be the best seeker in a century."
"Seeker? No, I think she'll play chaser. She is her father's daughter."
"Maybe your right." He allowed, just as Harriet walked into the room.
Her Daddy turned around and a smile broke out across his face.
"Hey Lils, did Harri go down ok?" He asked, his eyes innocent and his face playful.
She winced, but moved forward to meet him, pulling him into a hug.
"Yeah she went down fine." Harriet played along, shooting Sirius a look.
He gazed back at her apologetically, and cocked his head towards James, as if her were asking if she was sure she wanted to watch him. Her godfather and Remus already did so much for them, it was unfair to ask him to stay.
"Go ahead, Siri, we'll be here." Harriet reassured.
Siri nodded, and turned to James, touching his shoulder. I'll be back tomorrow mate. You stay here, yeah?"
Daddy turned to Harri and rolled his eyes playfully, as if to say, 'Of course'.
Harri smiled back.
The evening actually turned out a lot better than Harriet had hoped, at least at first. Her and James had played a game of Wizard's chess, and even though he had been switching between calling her Harri and Lily, they laughed a lot.
Whilst Harriet celebrated her third victory over the man, he playfully swooped her up in his arms, tickling her sides. Harri hadn't had so much fun with her dad in a long time.
However, that night, he did something that she wasn't expecting, something he'd never done before. When he put her down, James Potter spun her around and caressed her cheek.
"Lily, I love you." He whispered, his breathe tickling her neck.
"I love you too Daddy." She responded, supressing the familiar hurt that surfaced.
Before Harriet could react, her dad leaned forward, trapping her from behind, his hand on her back and pressed his lips to hers.
Harri froze.
James tried to deepen the kiss, pressing his tongue against her lips, searching for a way in. Harriet tried to think fast, panic bubbling in her chest. This had never happened before.
Placing her small hands against his chest she pushed as hard as she could.
"Daddy! Stop! It's me, Harri." She cried, and the man stumbled backwards, confusion evident in his face.
"Harri?" He tested her name on his lips.
"Harri…" Realization dawned on his face in that moment.
"Oh god, Harriet, sweetheart, I'm so sorry!" He cried out.
"You know I didn't mean it right baby." He was becoming disturbed. "I just thought… I thought you were…"
"I know dad." Harriet tried to sooth him, her voice a little shaky. "I know, please it's late. Why don't we get you up to bed?" She tried, pushing lightly on his back as a guide.
The man followed willingly. He seemed to forget entirely what had just happened, babbling on about some prank that he was planning to pull.
Harriet did not forget though. Her stomach was doing flips.
Later, when she was alone in the sitting room, she made some tea and thought carefully about what she should do.
She had been kissed before. Ron had kissed her in second year, just to try, and then later, in her third year, Harriet had begun seeing Cormac Maclaggen. They had snogged a few times, but he had wanted more, and Harri hadn't been ready.
That relationship didn't last long.
Now, her own father had kissed her, and it could definitely not have been mistaken for fatherly affection. She knew that her body had been changing over the past year, maturing. She was beginning to develop breasts, she'd gotten her period, much to poor Sirius' chagrin. That had been an awkward conversation. Everyday Harriet was becoming more and more like Lily Potter. The thought had never scared her as much as it did in that moment.
Deciding eventually to pass it off as a one-time thing, Harriet ambled up to her bedroom, and fell into a fitful sleep. She would not mention this to her godfathers. They deserved to be able to go out alone for the evening.
This was probably the worst decision that Harriet had ever made. It rivalled even the decision to take the Triwizard cup together with Cedric. How was she supposed to know that things would only get worse?
That summer, Dumbledore had once again established the Order of the Phoenix. This meant that Sirius and Remus were out of the house at least one evening a week, and Harri was left alone to care for James.
The first time that it happened, Harri was left shell shocked.
She had spent a whole hour with her dad, talking, and he had even seemed lucid. He'd kept her name straight consistently. That night, when she'd gotten him ready for bed, and went back to her own room, she had been just about to sleep when Harriet heard the door creak open.
Harri sat up in bed.
"Daddy?" She questioned, as the familiar silhouette moved towards her.
"Lils, oh Lily, I've missed you." He crooned, in a voice that she didn't recognize.
"Daddy, it's me Harriet." She tried, her stomach rolling with nerves.
He was on top of her before Harri even understood his intentions.
This could not be happening.
She struggled against his weight as he pressed her into the bed, caressing her body coarsely with his hands.
Fear was evident in every fiber of her body.
"Daddy what are you doing? Please it's me, it's Harriet!" Her voice was trembling, and barely audible.
Harriet wrestled her hands free and tried to push up on his chest, but he was so much stronger than she was.
James moaned in her ear, "Oh Lily, I want you so bad."
"Daddy, please, look at me! I'm not Lily!" She could feel his want pressing against her legs now.
Harri was rigid and afraid. Tears were beginning to form in her eyes.
To her growing horror, he did not react to her words, and his eyes clouded over with lust. Pulling down her pajama shorts roughly, Harri tensed.
He surely wasn't going to do what she thought he might; this was her father, but she was wrong. He pinned her down with one arm and pushed into her, oblivious to the screech of pain that passed through her lips.
"Daddy no!" Was all that she could manage to choke out now, but he wasn't her dad in that moment.
He was James Potter, and, in his mind, she was Lily.
Her body was cold and shaking as he moved into her. Harri contorted away from him in pain, arching her back and trying to get away, but he held her down firmly.
"Lily…" He groaned, his breathing becoming faster, jagged, as he thrusted his hips with more force.
Suddenly, the man's body tensed, and he cried out, leaning harshly on her. The heat of his climax created a stinging sensation from the inside out, causing Harri to whimper.
Relaxing, and pulling out, James Potter flopped onto the bed next to her, finally allowing her freedom.
Harri brought her knees up to her chest, her sleep shorts still around her knees as she began to cry. James reacted to her tears but seemed unaware of their cause. He sat her up and leaned her against his chest. Harriet allowed him to manipulate her body into the sitting position mechanically.
"Shh. It's okay Harriet. Daddy's here."
When Sirius and Remus had returned after their order meeting the evening of the first time, they were distracted by something else, and did not check that Harriet was asleep. Her dad acted normal, like nothing had ever happened and Harri had tried to as well.
She kept trying to tell herself that it had and would only be once. He wouldn't lapse in judgement like that again; but he did.
He didn't always take it that far. It wasn't like that.
Sometimes it was just those uncomfortable kisses. Other times he would touch her, on her breasts or her bottom. Occasionally, he'd make a sexual innuendo; but it did happen again.
The second and third times were just as painful and terrifying as the first.
Her godfathers had become increasingly concerned as she withdrew from them, spending most days alone in her bedroom, but they would never have imagined the reason.
Harri was sure that they chalked it up to the Tournament.
They had noticed the distance that she now kept from James, but when Remus had asked her about it, she had said that it hurt too much to be around him lately. She hadn't lied. Harriet was incredibly ashamed and disgusted with herself for allowing it to continue, but she couldn't bring herself to even think about it, let alone tell Sirius.
Even the thought of talking to Remus, whose calm demeanor was what he was famous for, seemed unbearable. Harri knew that what her dad was doing to her was very wrong.
Her only comfort was that school would begin soon. Daddy would be left in the care of her godfathers, and she would have until Christmas break to figure out a plan.
On the day of her departure, Remus was going to apparate her to King's Cross to catch the train. Daddy and Sirius stood at the door of the cottage to say goodbye, and Sirius pulled her into a bone-crushing hug.
"You be careful now Prongslet, more than ever ok? Don't listen to what they're saying about you. We know it's not true. I love you so much." He kissed her forehead.
"I love you too Siri." She nuzzled into him.
"Call me on the mirror every chance you get, got it?" Her godfather gave her a meaningful look.
"I will, don't worry, I'll be ok." When Sirius let her go, her dad turned to him and asked, "
Padfoot, where is Lily going?"
Sirius grimaced and placed his hand on her dad's shoulder. "Prongs. Harriet, is going back to Hogwarts for her fifth year. Harriet, your daughter, not Lily."
"Harriet? That's not possible? Why is Lily leaving? Where's the baby?" Her dad was becoming agitated now.
Harriet shifted uncomfortably, and then sighed, "James, Relax, I'm just going round for some tea to Marlene's. I'll be back soon." She tried.
Remus put his hand on her back from behind. "Harri, you don't have to…," but he was interrupted as her dad lurched forward and brought her into a sweeping kiss, right there in front of her godfathers.
His tongue pressed against her lips and he pulled her close. Harri stumbled back as quickly as she could, crashing into Remus behind her.
Sirius lunged forward.
"James! Fuck mate, that's disgusting." Her godfather was angry. "Don't ever fucking do that again." His grip on her father was tight and he shot Remus a look.
"Harriet honey, Merlin, I'm so sorry. If he ever does that again please tell me. Maybe we should look at having him committed."
Harri blushed red with shame. If only he knew. "No, Siri, don't say that. I don't want him to go away." She pleaded.
Remus interjected, "Let's not talk about this right now ok?"
Sirius was still upset. "Fine, but promise me that you'll tell me if he ever does that again Harri, swear to me."
She nodded, but her stomach churned with the weight of her deception.
Reaching out tenderly, she took her dad's hand. He was staring wide eyed at his best friend, obviously confused.
"I love you daddy." Harri whispered, even though she knew that she would get no reaction.
On the platform, Remus turned to her, his face concerned. "Are you alright Harri sweetheart? Your father has not been very aware lately, especially when it comes to you. I know it must be difficult."
"It's just not fair. He always knows who you guys are… I wish I looked different, I wish I looked like him, or that my hair was a different color, or my eyes, anything." She sighed longingly, her heart aching.
"Don't say that Harriet darling. You're beautiful, and in his heart, your dad knows who you are, it's just in his head that he gets confused." Remus reassured… or attempted to anyways.
Harri knew it was untrue, he had absolutely no idea who she was most of the time.
The James Potter that had raised her before Hogwarts, and that her godfathers had known would never do these things to his own daughter, not on purpose.
Kissing Remus goodbye, Harriet searched for her friends on the platform. When Ron spotted her, he waved and motioned for her to join the Weasleys. Waving goodbye once more to Remus, she quickly sauntered over to join them, pushing her dad to the back of her mind.
The first week of classes was an adjustment for Harriet. Most of the students had been flooded with speculation and rumors from their parents, the daily prophet, and everyone in between about Harri.
Was she sane? What she lying? Was Voldemort really back?
To top it off, the new defense professor was an absolute joke. Dolores Umbridge had been appointed by the ministry to spy on Dumbledore, and Harri, and seemed to make it her mission to dole out as many detentions to Harriet and her supporters as possible.
This coupled with her persistent anxiety about her father, and the impending Christmas holidays made for a pretty rotten first term. Hermione had organized a defense group the week before school was to let out, and she elected Harriet to be the leader, but they would not begin lessons until after the holidays.
Sirius had called Harri one evening the week before to report that her father had been completely lucid for a few hours that day, and had spent the whole of it sobbing, crying out his daughter's name, and apologizing profusely.
Siri had said that he'd been almost inconsolable.
Every time she thought about this, Harri shivered. Her daddy was still in there. He was, and he did know who she was, he regretted what he had done, and he loved her.
This just made the anxiety worse. She knew that she could never tell her godfathers what'd been happening. They would never let him around her again.
On top of the myriad of stress that she was currently experiencing, Harri had been having dreams again. This time, her dreams took place in a long corridor. She would move towards it, until she reached a tall, locked door. Whatever was behind the door was extremely desirable, and her emotions always peaked when she reached the end.
Tired and at the end of her rope, Harriet made her way to her last potions class of the term with Neville in tow.
Almost always, Harri spent the few days leading up to any kind of holiday with Neville. Ron and Hermione knew to expect this. Her shy friend had very similar demons to Harri's. Although her father was more coherent, they both knew the pain of having parents who were there, but not capable of parenting.
Entering the classroom together, Harri took a seat next to Neville, and leaned her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes.
"Are you going to the hospital this Christmas Nev?" She asked him, eyes still closed.
"Yeah, we didn't last year, but I felt bad. Gram's going to take me, but she won't stay. I think she is trying to let go." He whispered back, his tone sad.
"I'm sorry, Nev. I get it. Sirius suggested before I left this year that we have dad committed."
"Did something happen?" Her friend sounded concerned.
"He's been calling me Lily almost all the time now. He barely has any idea who I am anymore." She sighed.
Neville's arm wrapped around her shoulder and he rubbed hers.
"I'm sorry Harri. Let's get together over the Hols how bout?" He suggested lightly.
Harriet looked up to agree just as Snape swept into the class, the doors slamming behind him. Neville's arm returned to his side, and he shot her a small smile.
The potions professor seemed to be in a bad mood, more than his usual sour demeanor.
Before starting at Hogwarts, Harriet had been warned of Snape by Sirius, who absolutely despised the man, referring to him exclusively as, 'Snivellus.' However, she had learned right away that the dour Potions master had a soft spot for her. It wasn't as though they spoke, no, quite the opposite. Snape seemed to go out of his way to avoid Harri.
He did everything possible to circumvent interacting with her aside from class time. In class, he had never once in four and a half years called on her, but she did catch him looking her way quite a bit. Anytime that Harri had approached him alone, asking about a grade, or asking for an extension, he had given it to her without question.
He seemed almost gleeful to take house points away from Gryffindor; however, she had never lost points because of him. This was the other reason that Neville sat with her in potions class. Snape, who'd had a mean streak when it came to the shy boy, said nothing to him if he worked with her.
This class was no different, and when it ended, everyone went back up to pack for the train home. As far as Harriet knew, all three members of her family were coming to get her. Her dad had been doing well for the last few days, and Sirius said that if he continued that morning, he would bring him along.
Neville's grandmother was late, so he walked over with her to greet her family. Sirius made true to what he said, and he had brought along her dad, who was gazing around.
Remus hugged her tightly, followed by Sirius. Turning to her dad, Harri moved to give him a hug too.
She froze, when he pulled her close and whispered in her ear, "I've missed you Lily love."
Harri could not hide her face as she cringed, stepping back from her father, who turned to Neville glaring.
"Lily who is this?" He glowered. She could almost feel her heart collapse.
"Um, Neville Longbottom sir. I'm Harriet's friend. Nice to meet you." Nev held out his hand awkwardly.
Her dad took it, but he was still glaring.
"Who is this bloke? Lils how do you know him?"
"Daddy please." She looked at him with pleading eyes. "It's me, Harriet."
"Harriet? Where is Harriet?" James began to look around wildly. That's when Sirius stepped in.
"Alright mate. We'd better get going." He directed.
Harri hugged Neville goodbye. He lingered in the hug, and it was comforting. She had such good friends. Remus apparated with her dad, and Sirius with her.
"That's Frank and Alice's boy, right?" Siri asked her as they arrived.
"Yeah, he is." She smiled.
"Good. I'm glad you two are friends. You have a lot in common." Harriet cringed again.
"I'm sorry honey, I swear he was acting normal with us before you got off the train, but you know, he was pretty convinced that we were gonna get on it."
"It's fine Siri really. I get it. Thanks for coming to get me." She hugged him again, taking in his musky cologne.
"He's been asking for you a lot lately. He's so worried that you hate him, or that you stay away because you're afraid of him, but as soon as he sees you it's all Lily." Her godfather vented. He was obviously frustrated.
Harri looked down, frowning. Maybe that meant that he was sane enough not to hurt her anymore. Maybe it had had a profound effect on him. Her stomach hurt even thinking about the possibility of him doing that to her again, but there was hope now too.
The hope was unfortunately, short lived. That very same evening, they were all gathered around the dinner table. Remus had made a ham and potatoes as a welcome home supper. They were just about to start eating, when Sirius announced that he'd forgotten to grab the forks. Harriet rose up to go and collect them from the kitchen, and as she passed her dad, he reached up and in plain sight, swatted her bottom.
She squealed and jumped back. "Daddy!" she cried her face flushing with embarrassment.
His eyes were playful.
Sirius was on his feet in an instant. His hands hit the table, causing a loud bang. He grabbed her father by the collar of his shirt and pushed him up against the nearby wall.
"That. Is. Not. Ok." He growled at James as Remus took her into his arms.
"Padfoot what the hell man? Lily doesn't mind!" His tone was innocent.
"She is not Lily." Siri hissed. "She is your fucking fifteen-year-old daughter."
"My… what? Oh god, Harriet?" Her daddy turned to where she stood.
"Harriet, oh, baby I'm so sorry, god, I'm so sorry." The man sobbed, leaning against her godfather. Harri tentatively approached,
"Daddy?" she asked, her tone soft and shaky.
He looked up at her, and she knew that it was him because his face was pained. He left Sirius and took her into his arms. She had to stop herself from flinching at his touch.
They stayed in the embrace for a long time. When he released her, he began to mutter something about going to bed. Remus offered to take him, and then she was left alone with Siri again.
"Oh Sweetheart, that shouldn't have happened." He sighed, his tone wavering.
Harriet didn't say anything. She just wanted to go to bed. She wanted to tell him that she didn't trust her dad, that he was hurting her and that she was scared to close her eyes at night, but she couldn't bring herself to. The sadness in her father's eyes was heart wrenching. She wanted so badly to believe that he really was sorry. He was her daddy, or she wanted so desperately for him to be again.
By the end of the holiday, Harriet was beginning to feel better. Her dad had not done anything else to her. He hadn't been lucid like that again, but he had been a bit more coherent.
It wasn't until this last night, when Harri had her guard down, that he crept into her room once again. This time, Sirius and Remus were home. Their bedroom was only one away, as her dad's was beside hers.
"Lily flower!" He called into the dark, his voice tight, in a whispered urgency. "Are you in here Lils. I need you babe." He said as he slipped into bed beside her.
Harriet had frozen, her body trembling. Sirius would surely kill him if he caught her dad in the act.
She had to keep quiet. She had to.
The now familiar pain sliced through her, as she resisted, writhing and groaning into the pillow. His strong arms held her in an embrace. He was beginning to moan louder and Harri was terrified that her godfathers would hear.
As he came, he shouted her mother's name. Harriet could hear somebody stir in the other room. Panic coursed through her veins. It ached in between her thighs, but she sat up quickly and pulled her father's pajamas pants up. He was smiling.
"Daddy, please be quiet." She whispered desperately. Trying to fix herself and wipe away the tears. Footsteps sounded outside of James' room.
Whoever it was, noticed him missing and came quickly to check on Harriet. Sirius appeared at the door, his face wary.
"Harriet? Is your father in here?" He hissed, preoccupied.
"Yeah he's here Siri." She answered, barely able to control the shaking in her voice.
Sirius entered the room and went straight to her dad. "Prongs, you shouldn't be in here at night." He chided, shooting Harri a look.
"Aw Paddy, I was just visiting Lily here." He whined like a boy.
"Yeah, I can see that, but Lily needs to sleep." Siri added, glancing at her pointedly.
Her godfather guided James out of the room and back to bed, and Harriet began to sob, curling herself up into a ball. The noise must have attracted Siri back to return, because he was at her side quickly.
"Oh honey, you're ok, tell me what's wrong." He said as he held her close to him.
"I just don't want to look like her anymore." She cried into his chest. "I don't want to be Lily."
"I know sweet girl, I know. You're Harriet, and you'll always be our Harriet honey."
"I wish you were my dad." She admitted weakly, hiding her face, the ache in her thighs dulling as her real dad's leftovers spilled out of her, wetting her pajamas shorts.
"Oh, Harri love, I am. Me, Moony, and your dad. We are all in this together sweetheart."
The holidays had come to an end, and Harriet had never been more relieved. However, the relief did not last, because the very first night back in her dorm Harriet had a dream. It began just like her previous dreams had, but this time, at the end of the long stretch of hallway, Harri encountered the sleeping figure of Arthur Weasley.
The Weasley patriarch awoke with a start and began to shout in the same moment that Harriet realized that she was a snake. A snake that was now attacking Ron's dad. When she woke up in her four-poster bed, she was drenched in sweat, pajamas clinging to her, her chest heaving.
"Hermione!" Harri whispered urgently.
The girl was awake in an instant, and the girls made their way to the Headmaster's office, panic evident in their expressions. When the ordeal was dealt with and Mr. Weasley retrieved and taken to St. Mungo's, Harriet was left alone in Dumbledore's office with the headmaster and professor Snape who stood in the corner.
"Severus, do you remember our conversation last week?"
The potions master nodded curtly. "Excellent, I think that now would be a good time to begin."
Professor Snape turned to Harriet and spoke, "Miss Potter, I require your presence in my office tonight. There is some urgent business to attend to." He started.
It was at that moment that Harri became aware of her state of dress. She was braless, in a tight top, her breasts nearly spilling out, nipples protruding from the cold. The pajamas shorts that she had on were barely long enough to cover her below. Folding her arms over her chest self-consciously, Harri looked up at the man and blushed,
"Can I, um, put on some clothes first professor?"
The man fidgeted uncomfortably as though he too had just noticed her attire. He swiftly picked up an inkwell that sat on the Headmaster's desk and transfigured it into a large sweatshirt. The shirt was plain and black. He handed it to her silently and turned away, allowing her to put it on in peace.
Professor Dumbledore was watching the interaction amusedly.
"Thanks sir." She added quietly and she followed the man down into the dungeons, and then into his office wondering what on earth he could possibly need to discuss with her.
Still cold, with goosepimples all over her legs, Harriet sat up on the desk in his office as the potions masters stood facing her.
"Miss Potter. It seems as though there is a connection between your mind and the Dark Lord's mind. I have been given the task of teaching you to defend your mind from intrusion through the discipline, occlumency."
"Occlumency?" She asked innocently.
Her eyes meeting his. The professor's hardened demeanor softened slightly.
"Yes. Occlumency is a form of mind magic that will allow you to block the dark lord from reading your thoughts."
"Reading my thoughts?" Harri wanted to gag.
"Yes. It is not clear whether or not the Dark Lord is aware of the connection or not, but it is prudent that we break it off."
"How do we do that? How will I learn?" She asked, her eyes wide.
"I will attempt to enter your mind, and you will attempt to block me." Snape responded matter of factly.
Harriet stiffened. "Sir, no offense, but is there another way?" She shivered.
Nobody could go into her mind, that was not alright with her.
"I am afraid that there is no other option Potter. This connection is too dangerous."
"Professor, please, I don't want you to read my thoughts." Harri begged, her face panicked.
Snape moved closer to her, looking her in the eyes.
"Potter, I assure you. Anything that I see in your mind will remain confidential. I will not use it to taunt you, and I am sure that in the long run, you will be much better off with me reading your thoughts than the dark lord."
Harriet really did not want to allow this, but it seemed as though she didn't have much of a choice.
Sirius would flip out when he learned. She knew how much he hated Snape.
Closing her eyes, she nodded and sighed. "Fine."
Snape prepared her, telling her to clear her mind, and cast the spell. Harriet was weak, and they went tumbling into her memories instantly.
Eleven-year-old Harriet's eyes widened as she watched from the kitchen. Her daddy was agitated and screaming at Siri,
"Where is Harriet?!" Harri entered the sitting room and ran up to him.
"Daddy I'm right here!" She cried, tugging at his robes.
He turned to her; his face hard.
"Lily, where is Harriet? Where did you take her?" He asked.
Next memory.
Harriet whimpered softly as her daddy hugged her saying, "Oh Lily love, I missed you so much. Where'd you go?"
Next Memory.
"Padfoot, where the fuck is my daughter?" Daddy screamed.
"James. You need to calm down. Harri has been here all day, this girl, she is Harriet. Not Lily. Harriet."
"Don't mess with me Padfoot, Harriet is a baby,"
Next memory.
Her dad held her against him, pressing his lips into hers. Harriet stumbled back. "James! Fuck man, that's disgusting." Siri shouted in the background, ripping him away from her.
Next memory.
Sirius held her dad up against the wall. "That. Is. Not. Ok. James." She's your fucking fifteen-year-old daughter!"
Next memory.
"I don't want to be Lily anymore." Harriet sobbed into Sirius' pajama top, his arms around her small frame protectively in the dark.
The memories ceased as Snape pulled out of her head, his face a mixture of shock and confusion.
"What is wrong with your father Potter?" He asked, his eyes narrowing.
Harri dropped her head low in shame. "He's not well sir."
"I can see that. What is wrong with him?"
"Um, when Voldemort attacked my home sir, he hit my father with a strange spell, and he has been like this ever since. He gets confused easily. He knows Remus and Sirius, but I look so much like my mum… He hardly ever knows who I am."
"He thinks that you're…"
"Lily. Yes." She finished.
"Your guardians encourage you to act as your mother?" Snape questioned. His tone was sharp.
"No, they hate it. Remus and Sirius, they get really upset when I pretend to be her…but sometimes it's um, the only way I can connect with him." She cringed.
"Is he romantically inclined with you often?"
"It's kind of a new thing." She shrugged. "Since, uh, you know." Harri gestured towards her body.
"Sirius wants to have him committed."
"I see." He breathed. "That will be all for your introductory lesson Miss Potter. Please return on Wednesday evening at seven o'clock. In the interim, practice clearing and closing your mind."
Harri nodded and hugged herself tighter, the jumper barely coming down to cover her thighs. She slept fitfully, thoughts of her dad playing in the corners of her mind. The week went by too quickly.
The first meeting of the Defense Association went by without a hitch, and Harriet, with the help of her friends began to perfect the basic disarming spells with the younger students. Cormac had joined the club, but she suspected that it was more with the intention of leering at her creepily from the corner than learning anything.
The most surprising addition to the group had been Draco Malfoy. The boy had come alone to the first meeting, hands on his head in surrender and said that he just wanted to make sure that his education wasn't going to be compromised this year.
Of course, just like every other student, he had been made to sign the jinxed parchment, and he had kept pretty quiet. Harri had been forced to demonstrate with the boy for the entire lesson as nobody else would work with him.
She couldn't help but worry that she was teaching her defense secrets to a future death eater, recalling with clarity Lucius Malfoy's face in her mind from the graveyard. However, she was really bad at saying no to people, as had been made very clear to her over the past few years.
Wednesday's lesson came with shocking speed. Harri was determined to keep her mind closed this time. The last few memories of her father had been a little too close to other secrets that Snape could not ever see. Fully clothed this time, in a long blue knit sweatshirt and tights, Harri entered the potions office where Snape sat marking papers.
"Good evening professor." She whispered lightly, shivering in the cold dungeon room.
"Good evening Miss Potter. Please, have a seat." He directed her towards the chair in the corner and stood up.
Like the last meeting, Harri ignored the chair and moved to sit on the desk. She felt more in control the higher up she was.
"Have you been practicing?" He asked her seriously.
"I've been trying sir."
"We shall see then. Relax Potter, I will not hurt you."
The professor was just about to cast the spell when Harriet turned away, taking her eyes off him and moving her gaze to the wall.
"I can't." She said softly.
"Potter, you don't seem to grasp the urgency of this task. Do you enjoy the idea of the dark lord rummaging through your mind?"
"No sir, I just, I don't want anyone in my mind. It feels wrong."
"Then you should be taking these lessons more seriously. I assure you that there are worse enemies than I who will try to open up your mind, expose your vulnerabilities, and find the memories that make you feel powerless." He spat, and he took her chin gently into his hand and turned her face towards him, casting the spell as he did so.
Not prepared once again, they went tumbling into Harri's mind. Snape must have been looking for her most vulnerable memories.
Four-year-old Harri watched with wide eyes as Remus' skin stretched and his bones snapped in front of her, fur sprouting all over his body. Daddy came up behind her, swooping her up into his strong arms as Siri turned into Padfoot.
"Harri honey, we've gotta go now. Remus is fine, he'll be fine." He soothed in her ear.
Next memory.
Cormac stood in front of Harri, not quite allowing her enough space to leave. His hands caressed her body, his mouth crashing against hers.
"Stop, Cormac, I'm not ready for that." She growled in frustration.
The boy just pushed her back further into the wall of the deserted classroom.
"Cormac, stop, please. I don't want this." She tried as she pushed against his chest.
He snarled and pushed her back, hitting her head against the wall.
"Fine, you fucking prude. I'll just go fuck someone else then."
Next memory.
Harriet was pinned against the cold headstone in the graveyard, her arm and her scar throbbing.
"I can touch you now." Voldemort hissed as he pressed his finger to her head.
Harri screamed.
Next memory.
Harri panicked as she heard movement from the other room.
"Daddy please be quiet!" She cried as she helped him to pull up his pajama pants, covering his exposed genitals, fear consuming every cell in her body.
Instantly, Harriet was propelled back into the potion's office, her breathing heavy and her eyes stinging. Snape's face exposed a mixture of shock and horror.
"Potter. What. Was. That?"
Harri turned her face away from the man, flushing red with shame.
"Nothing." She replied stubbornly.
"Do. Not. Lie. To me." His voice was deadly. "Why was your father in your room in that state?"
Harri couldn't contain herself any longer. "Please sir, he can't help it. He doesn't know who I am." She cried.
Snape's horrified expression only deepened. He gripped her chin in his fingers once again and cast the legilimency spell one more time. Harri was helpless to defend herself.
Daddy came up from behind her, groping her breast and caressing Harri's frozen figure.
Next Memory.
Harriet pushed her Daddy off of her as hard as she could, the feeling of his lips on hers disappearing as quickly as it had appeared.
Next Memory.
Harriet was pinned underneath him struggling and crying.
"Daddy Stop! Please I'm Harriet not Lily, please!" She cried as he pulled down her pajama shorts.
Her body recoiled and writhed in pain as Harri screamed.
Next Memory.
Daddy wouldn't let go, he was too strong. He cried out her mother's name as Harri struggled to breathe, her face stuffed into the fabric of her pillow, agony as he moved inside of her.
Harriet came to, staring past the professor and at the wall in his office. Snape had backed away coughing. The man wretched into an empty cauldron, his face white as a sheet. Harri wrapped her arms around herself, curling into a ball.
Snape knew. He saw. He would tell Siri, he'd tell Remus, Daddy. Oh Daddy.
She couldn't bear it. Sirius would murder him, and then he would go to Azkaban. If her daddy didn't die, they would surely have him committed.
Harriet felt as though her whole world was going to come crashing down around her. Snape straightened his figure, still pale as a ghost and stared at her.
"I am going to assume that Black and Lupin are not privy to your father's filthy habits."
"Please don't tell them." Harri began to sob, her whole-body trembling. "Please, he doesn't know what he's doing. He's just confused. Please sir."
"Potter. You need to be far away from that man. I absolutely cannot allow you to return to a house in which he resides."
Shaking and tearful, Harri barely resisted when the potions master took her by the arm and forced her into the floo with him. They arrived instantly at the headmaster's office and Snape held onto her arm to prevent her from falling forward. Dumbledore, who was alone at his desk stood up immediately, taking in the sight of a tearful Harri being manipulated by the potion's professor.
"Severus. Whatever is the matter?" His voice was concerned.
"Albus, you need to get Miss Potter's guardians here this instant. Call Black and Lupin. This is an emergency. See that James Potter does not come with them."
Harri interjected, "S…Sir they can't leave him alone to come together."
"Harri." Dumbledore turned to face her, his face wrought with worry. "What happened my dear girl?" She just sobbed harder.
This was the headmaster's cue to move over to the fireplace, he was obviously quite startled. Harri was absolutely inconsolable. Snape didn't say anything. It felt as though no time had passed when Dumbledore pulled himself from the fire, stood back, and watched as Sirius, and Remus stumbled through, James in tow, their faces wild. Siri searched for her frantically as he came through, glaring at Snape.
"Harri! God what happened baby?" He cried, his eyes fixed on Snape. "What the fuck did you do to her?!" He started at Severus.
"I think you should be asking your pet pervert that question you idiotic excuse for a guardian." Snape shot back.
Harri cried out again and lunged towards her father who was staring around the room confused.
"Daddy, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me daddy I didn't want to tell him." She clung to his chest.
James Potter wrapped his arms around her and rest his face on the top of her head.
To everyone's surprise, he soothed her softly. "It's ok Harri, Daddy's here. You're ok. I've got you."
"Why do you remember me now?" she whimpered.
"Why now and not then? I'm so sorry!" Her sobs deepened.
"Sirius was furious now. "Somebody tell me what is going on now!" Remus held the man back.
Dumbledore turned to Snape. "Yes, Severus, my boy, might you let us in on what is troubling young Harriet tonight." He asked calmly.
"It has come to my attention, through detailed exploration of the child's mind during occlumency lessons, that your precious Potter, in his altered mental state, has been raping and otherwise accosting his daughter for quite some time now."
Silence hung over them like a cape in the room. Harri clung to her dad, who of course, didn't really understand what was going on.
"I see." Dumbledore began, pursing his lips.