Interviews
By Jonathan "KnightMysterio" Spires
All characters copyrighted to Nintendo and used without permission for non-profit amusement reasons. Comments, compliments, and constructive criticism is appreciated and encouraged.
=== Chapter 1: Glass Joe ===
Ah, bonjour! I'm so very glad to see you, monsieur, although somewhat surprised. After all, you are from the premier boxing magazine in the world. My career has not been that notable, and aside from one fight with my student, Gabby Jay, I…
Oh.
You wish to talk about him, eh?
Monsieur Little Mac….
Ah, yes… Of the many losses I had, that was a strange one… I knew, somehow, that the boy would be going places in short order…
I've been defeated so many times, and yet losing to him…
Strangely, I think it was the loss I felt the worst about…
I never really took boxing seriously to start with. That's probably why I lost so much. Believe it or not, I first entered the World Video Boxing Association as a way of winning a bet with a friend.
My bad luck, my first opponent was Mister Sandman.
Three guesses how that match went.
After that, I started getting into my matches more. Despite my constant losses, I actually was having fun and enjoying myself. Granted, one hit to the right place on my jaw and I fell like the American stock market during the twenties, but I still was managing to enjoy my life.
Okay, okay, low blow. No more jokes about America. (Where you can hear them, at least…)
Mostly, I enjoy performing, as well as the athletic exertion. I've never been in better shape physically, barring the concussions and occasional missing teeth. I swear, the dentist the Association has working for them is a miracle worker.
And contrary to popular belief, I do actually try to make an effort to win in each match.
I'm just… well, not very good.
…
Little Mac…
I had just come off my 99th loss, again to Mister Sandman. I think I was still feeling the aftereffects of that uppercut combination of his, but whatever the reason, I was feeling confident. Every opponent I had faced until then, the Bruiser brothers, Mister Sandman, Super Macho Man, Heike Kagero, Dragon Chan, they were all larger than me in height, build, or both.
But this little child? This small thing?
He was little indeed. I was certain I could beat him. I had gotten better with each match. I even managed to hit Mister Sandman a couple times in our fifth rematch! Surely I could beat this tiny little child before me…
…
I haven't been beaten that decisively since my first match against Mister Sandman…
None of my punches could even touch him. It was so different from Mister Sandman, who just overpowered me with his raw, unyielding strength. Little Mac, he practically danced around the ring. No matter what I did, I couldn't even lay a glove on him…
Then he hit me with that one move of his… I think he calls it the Starlight Uppercut…
I was certainly seeing stars as I hit the mat…
Ah, Little Mac… Tres bon, you are.
I'm actually grateful for you.
You showed me what it means to take boxing seriously. I can do better now, I know I can.
And one day, I will be the one whose arm is raised in triumph as I stand over your battered, unconscious form.
Yes… One day…
Hnh? Who am I facing in my next bout? Let me check, I have it written down somewhere…
…
Mon dieu… Bald Bull…
Well… I stand by what I said. One day I'll beat Little Mac.
…
Just… not for a while…