AN: To read with the lyrics please go here news/2027390-buried-alive-an-american-mcgee039s-alice-songfic I had the lyrics originally in the fic but then I was told it was against the rules. Ever since I started trying out new writing styles I end up breaking the rules.
Old fic I finally decided to finish. I heard this song while playing Madness Returns and this fic came to mind. Make of the ending what you will.
Disclaimer: I do not own American McGee's Alice, Alice Madness Returns, or Lost by Within Temptation.
Alice has finally made peace with herself. She is no longer struggling with her family's death, she can traverse into a new and shining world. A real world not one of make-believe. She has come of age, no longer a child teetering between fancies. She is ready to move on. I know I should feel happy for her but I am struck with sorrow. I want her to move on, to leave this twisted excuse for a home, yet I do not want her to leave. I want to go on living with her, teasing her with my riddles, feeling her steady hands caress my fur. She approaches the cliff's edge and a seam appears along the horizon. Darkness spreads around forming a path. She follows the path out of sight.
"Alice!" I scream to no avail as her form continues further into the darkness.
My heart aches with all that it can. I know that I only live within her mind, that it dosen't matter if she leaves me or not. I never truly existed to begin with so why should it matter if we fade back into nothing? I know all this and yet I don't want to leave her. I want to be near her always. To see her grin at me, truly happy, and mad (but in a good way from now on). Somewhere in my mind I know that the best thing for her is to forget about us. To move on from Wonderland and rejoin the real world, but I can't let her go. I would think myself mad if I weren't already. This insane desire to grasp onto her and never let her go.
Our separation crushes me, my non-existent heart pounding in my chest. My boney body trembling from loss.
I shove forward knowing that it is impossible to follow her, yet somehow I do. I push forward and forward still, past the point of sight. I follow blindly with only my heart for guidance.
Could I really become something real? Something that can live outside of her consciousness? The thought strikes me as I crept ever onward. Or will I simply be lost in this darkness for all of eternity? Fear's icy grip takes full hold of me. What if instead of being snuffed out for eternity, I am left alone in this wasteland of nothingness? At least if I were to disappear I would have no regrets. Now I would be left a rueful soul, longing forever for what is beyond my claws.
Knowing it's useless but out of options I yell again, "Alice!" I shriek her name and it bounds around me making me feel hollow. I am so empty without her. She has always been there since my birth. She is both my mother and my goddess. I would call her mistress if she so allowed. She is my everything. I am nothing without her. Forget Wonderland, she is my world. My very existence.
I see her to my right. She smiles with such sincerity reaching out her hands for me. I bound towards her but as I reach her body I pass through her. The apparition vanishes as quickly as it appeared. Am I madder than usual? Is my longing that great?
"Alice take me with you!" I scream till my throat is raw and bleeding. I turn around to find nothing but darkness. Am I all that's left of Wonderland? I feel numb. What will become of me? What will become of Alice? Will she find a new cat to love? Will someone else see her gleaming mad face?
I lay deprived of all strength. I tried my best. It was time to let the darkness swallow me. Do with me what you will. A chill overcame me and I lost all sense of feeling in my limbs. Look at you now, Cat, all weak and given up all hope. Are you going to meet your new friends like that? A voice drifted from the distance and I knew that I was home.