I missed it so I made a part two . . . . Also, this is going to be very different than part one. I wrote part one because I wanted to write something happy and fluffy and sweet. I'm writing this because I miss writing this fanfiction, but also because I have dark sad thoughts. I don't know EXACTLY where this is going, but I have an idea, and it's gonna head somewhere dark. So (As much as it pains me to discourage you from reading this) if you're happy with all the happiness in the first part, just . . . stick with that. This will still have plenty of happy cute moments, but there's a crapton of sadness too. And because I'm not going to do warnings every chapter, and I'm terrible at warnings anyway, the warnings I am for sure posting are that there will be rape, and (once again) sadness and feels. So. Let the pain commence!

Chapter One: Can't Find My Way Home

Castiel:

Castiel looked over to the cellphone on his nightstand. He took a deep breath and sat up on the edge of the bed. It was time, he was set to go to Vegas in three days, and Dean wasn't going with him this time. Castiel tried to push that thought out of his mind. Dean rolled onto his stomach in his sleep and his hand flopped lazily against Castiel's side, warm and insistent.

"Combacktobehhhh" Dean grumbled, still half asleep.

"I have to start packing eventually, Dean." Castiel said, smiling down at the hand pressing up against him.

"Nooooooo." Sleepy Dean whined. Castiel brushed his fingers along Dean's and Dean's hand reached out to lace his fingers through Castiel's. "Stayinbedddd" Dean groaned. Castiel had gotten used to Dean's morning language, it was like a different form of English. All of Dean's words blurred together into one long sentence combined with groans from having to wake up. Dean was not a morning person, after all. Suddenly, Dean's grip hardened and yanked Castiel back into the bed so fast Castiel yelped in surprise. Dean wrapped himself around Castiel like an octopus and squeezed him so tightly Castiel couldn't even begin to get free. Castiel chuckled and hugged his husband back.

"Deannnnn I have to-,"

"No!"

"Dean you're being childish!" Castiel struggled half-heartedly and then there were warm lips pressing up against his neck, and most of the struggle went out of him. He sagged back down into the mattress. "Well. Maybe a few more minutes wouldn't hurt anything . . ." Castiel mumbled, biting his lip.

"For what I have in mind, we might need more than a few minutes, angel." Dean whispered, hot and insistent against his ear. Cas groaned.

"Damn you and your vile ways, temptress!" Castiel shouted, struggling once more. Dean kissed Castiel's collar bone.

"Babe it's too early for all that fancy talk." he bit down, as if to prove his point and Cas shuddered. Dean's fingers dipped underneath his shirt and danced over his skin, and Cas arched up into the coziness, into the habit of it all. They had been married only a few months, but in some ways their relationship felt like an eternity to Castiel. He clung to Dean, fingers digging slightly into his shoulders as Dean's lips melted into his.

"I don't want to go." Castiel whispered, as if afraid of the confession himself. "Not if you won't be with me." He sighed as Dean kissed his nose lovingly.

"I'm always with you." Dean breathed against his lips. Castiel chuckled.

"You're always so cheesy." But he felt himself grow warm and happy at the idea.

"That's how I'm always with you. I'm melted cheese stuck to the bottom of your shoe." Castiel squinted up at Dean, and for a moment said nothing.

"What kind of cheese?" Castiel finally asked. Dean laughed.

"Either a sharp cheddar or Munster cheese." Dean said, trying to act serious. Castiel just chuckled and surged upwards to kiss him again.

"You're such a dork." He told him in between kisses.

"It's okay, you're a nerd." Dean said, fingers in Castiel's hair.

"I love you, Dean Winchester." Castiel lifting Dean's shirt off over his head and throwing it to the ground.

"I love you, Castiel Winchester." Castiel felt like he was glowing he was so happy.

"I love it when you say my name."

"Castiel-,"

"No, the Winchester part of it." Dean grinned down at him as Cas ran his hands over Dean's sculpted chest.

"Winchester." Dean whispered, taking off Castiel's shirt. Cas lifted his body to help him. "Winchester." Dean breathed against his skin as he kissed down Castiel's chest. "Winchester." he said once more as he lowered Castiel's sweatpants and his boxers.

They stayed in bed longer than Castiel planned, but it was worth every second.

Dean:

"You understand why we can't have both of you back at once." Nigel had said on the phone to him.

"No, not really."

"Well, your love story has really brought the show a lot of publicity, and for that we are grateful, but if both of you were here at once, all the focus would be on the pair of you instead of this years dancers. We plan on asking you back next season, if you're up for it."

"Of course, Nigel. Anything for you, crumpet." Nigel chuckled.

"You know I love it when you butter me up like that, Dean, but don't you have a husband now or something?"

"Oh, him." Dean said, looking over at Cas who was sitting on the couch reading, half asleep, his glasses falling down his nose. "Forget about him, Nigel baby, let's elope." Cas's head snapped up and then he put it together in his head and grinned crookedly.

"Tell the crumpet I said hi." He said, yawning a bit and stretching.

"Cas says hi." Dean said, scribbling something on a piece of notebook paper.

"Tell him I said he'd better be rested up and on time, we have a heavy work load this season."

"Yeah yeah." Dean said, not really wanting to hear it. He was used to heavy work loads, between running his new juvenile delinquent dance studio and helping Cas out occasionally with his, Dean and Cas were both spreading themselves rather thin. And now Meg and Cas were both invited back to the show, leaving the studio under the charge of Dean and another new instructor, Cole. Dean longed to be wherever Cas was. And now his new husband was getting stolen away to Vegas. Dean hadn't been at all jealous when Cas had won. He had still paid for Sammy's school, which Dean would never be able to repay him for. And by that time, Dean already knew Cas was his future husband, it was cemented in his bones. If Cas won, Dean won. Dean ran a hand through Cas's hair and Cas snuggled into him, setting down his book and pushing up his glasses as he curled into Dean's side.

"Alright, I'll let you go so you two can spend some time together. It won't be that long Dean, only ten weeks. And you know we'll have a ticket for you if you want to come see the show." Dean felt dread at the words. "only ten weeks" ten weeks? They had never been apart that long. Ten weeks was like an eternity.

"I will be up there for a few shows, but I've got two dance studios to run and a hand full of teenage angst to shovel through." He told Nigel. Sure, he'd get to visit Cas, but for no more than two days. And only a handful of times. It would be nothing like it was now.

"Bye Deano."

"See ya around, crumpet." And they hung up the phone. It was odd how close he had become with the judges as soon as he was done being judged by them. A number of them actually showed up at their wedding, including Kat, Mary (who had screamed very shrilly), Nigel, Lil C, and Mia. The others had all sent them gifts and letters congratulating them. Of course, Dean had a theory they were doing it half for the publicity of it all. There were plenty of cameras at the wedding, despite Cas's immense discomfort. But Nigel had come over for dinner a few times, and had the boys over to his mansion when they were in Vegas, visiting. Kat had hosted several parties they had all been invited to, and Mary had gone out for lunch with them once or twice.

Dean sat down his phone and wrapped his arms around his husband.

"I'll miss you, angel."

"I'm not gone yet Dean." Cas mumbled, sleepily.

"I miss you already." Dean nosed Cas's hair and pressed a kiss onto the top of his head.

That had been last month, right after Cas had agreed to go. Now it was two days before he left, and Dean felt even more clingy than usual, which of course made him feel a little pathetic. Dean had tried to keep Cas in bed for as long as possible that morning, but they had to get up eventually, probably sooner rather than later. It was Saturday so Cas and Dean were both (thankfully) off work, but Cas had packing to do, and Dean had moping to do. So, regretfully, they got out of bed and went about their day. Dean slid into the kitchen to make breakfast, putting on his phone and listening to classic rock. He hadn't even noticed he was dancing around the kitchen and singing until he looked up and Cas was standing against the counter, smiling lovingly at him. Dean grinned and held out his hand and pulled Cas against him and they started dancing together.

"COME DOWN ON YOUR OWN AND LEAVE YOUR BODY ALONEEEE" Dean screamed/sung Cas laughed with his head thrown back and his eyes scrunching just the way Dean loved and Dean just pulled him along and continued on "CUS I'M WASTED AND I CAN'T FIND MY WAY HOMEEEE" Cas finally started singing with him as they spun around their small kitchen, avoiding counters. Dean even sang the guitar solo as he dipped Cas and pulled him back up for a kiss.

"Dean, your bacon is burning." Cas said, sniffing the air.

"Shit!" Dean ran over to the pan to turn the bacon over and then turned back around to grin at his husband. Cas suddenly looked sad.

"When I'm gone, will you call me and sing to me?" He asked, coming up behind Dean and wrapping his arms around him. Dean hummed and leaned back.

"Of course babe. But I thought you didn't like my singing."

"I never said I didn't like it. I just said you sounded like a dying whale sometimes. But I like it. You're my dying whale." Dean made a noise of displeasure and made them both their plates.

"You done packing already?" Dean asked. He refused to be in the room while Cas was packing. He didn't want to see Cas disassembling their lives together.

"No. The smell of bacon and the sound of dying whales captured my attention. I still have a bit more to go."

"Don't forget your favorite shirt." Cas squeezed him in reply. "Or the boots I got you. You look damn good in those boots. Well. Maybe forget those." Dean could feel Cas laugh against him.

"Come on, let's go sit down." Dean brought plates laden with bacon, eggs, and pancakes over to the table, and they sat down to eat.

The night before Cas left they were supposed to go out and do something fun together, but all Dean had wanted to do was stay in. They sat on the couch, Cas cuddled into Dean's side, and watched Dean's new favorite movie, Guardians of the Galaxy. During the scene where "I fooled around and fell in Love" came on, Dean stood up and held out his hand for Cas to take. Cas smiled up at him and took it, letting Dean spin him around their floor in lazy circles.

Dean let the slow melody lose him as he held Cas in his arms.

"I wish you didn't have to go." He mumbled into Cas's ear. Cas's hand brushed over his shoulder lovingly.

"I'll be back before you know it." Dean was silent. They had probably said these words thousands of times by now, but Dean felt different this time. Like this was their last dance. It had an odd sort of finality to it that none of their dances before had ever had. Dean could feel himself tearing up and blinked it away. This was nuts, he wasn't a softie like this. He didn't get so emotional normally. But being with Cas was different. Dean lay his head on Cas's shoulder and allowed Cas to move them slowly across the floor until they were just swaying in place.

"I love you, angel." he told Cas. Cas squeezed him a little tighter.

"I love you too, my hunter."

The next day, Dean dropped Cas off at the airport. Before he got out of the impala, he seemed to square his shoulders and take a deep breath.

"You nervous. Angel?" Cas looked at him and smiled.

"Nah, I'll just breathe." Dean grinned at him.

"That's right. It's like you don't even need me anymore." Cas's face got serious.

"I always need you, Dean. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay." Dean said, smiling sadly, more for Cas than for him. "Call me when you land."

"I will." Cas leaned in and kissed Dean quickly and then got his bags and walked inside. Dean watched Cas until he was gone, and then sat there a moment longer, trying to feel the kiss on his lips before it faded completely, and then he put baby in drive, and left.